Quote

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out."
-Chekov

I read this quote in the book, "Captivating," the female version of "Wild at Heart." John Eldridge and his wife, Stasi co-wrote this one, it's good.

This quote made me stop and think. It's in reference to how women are tired and drained, but it's not from a life of shared adventures, it's from lives that are crammed with routine, chores, and hundreds of demands. It says that, "Somewhere between our youth and yesturday, efficiency has taken the place of adventure."

I think it can also be applied to men as well, we all have that sense of life being filled with demands that wear us out, instead of adventures that are fulfillingly tiring.

Any thoughts?

Wet Dog Stinks!

Tonight is my last night of house/dog sitting and I have to say that I am ready to be done. I always forget that it is more work than I think, until I get the list of pets/amphibians/reptiles to feed, not to mention the dog and cat.
There are always more things to do than you think.. like feeding the Bearded Dragon meal worms and lettuce every other day, watering the boy's jalepeno plant every day, cleaning out the water dish of the turtle and feeding it lettuce every other day. Oh, and once while they're gone feed the slimy tree frog some meal worms as well. The feeding just consists of tossing the worms in their cages, but first I use a fork to sift through the sawdust to find the nasty things. And this evening, while tossing the lettuce in the dragon's cage, it decided to lunge at my hand, the lettuce flew all over the cage and I quickly shut the top. ICK! What teenage girl in their right mind has an ugly dragon for a pet?? I guess this one does, but not me... I'm doing well to keep a fish alive for more than 3months.

I had to work later today and didn't think of how it was pouring outside, and the dog stays out all day long. OOPS... I got home to find the neighbor girl who walks the dog every day, standing with an umbrella waiting to tell me something about the dog. Turns out she "got her period" in the girl's words :). Yes, she went into heat and so that means she's dripping, so I kept her outside. But, the rain was letting up and did stop by about 7:30, so I didn't feel bad. I called their owners and he said it was fine to leave her out. I can have a clear concience(how do you spell that??). So, she was a wet stinky dog when I let her in to go in her kennel tonite. I'm not awful though, I did dry her off with towels as best I could!

I've come to the conclusion that I'm really okay with not having animals at this point in my life. I had a dog and cat growing up and loved them, but I've now grown accustomed to not having hair all over and not having the extra responsibility. I do think that I'd let my children have pets though, they are great for helping them learn responsibility... and good companions as well.

That's the long and short of it... until next time... free of pets...

toodles-

Have you ever?

This is a very random one today...
so anyways...

Today on my way to work I was listening to my new Jack Johnson cd... i should say new to my ears because it's Brushfire Fairytales, not the newest one, In Between Dreams, I already have that one. Okay, so as I was listening to the song "Mudfootball" I started clapping with the song at the end. It has the claps in it already, it was just the oddest thing, because I usually am not one to do motions to songs, especially while driving in my car. I must have been really into the song. It just made me laugh... ever do those things? It's kind of like speaking before you think, but in actions :) haha.

that's all for today...

toodles-

Always an Adventure!

My sister and I got together last night for dinner and much needed catch-up sister bonding time. We met in Albertville at the outlet mall because she moved up to Sartell in the spring, and that's about half-way for us.
A little way down the road from the mall there are some little retail stores etc., Coburns'(apparently my sisters favorite new(to her) grocer), and a "Majors" grille and bar. I had never eaten there, so we decided to give it a shot. They had a special going on, you could get a 10" one topping pizza for just $4!! Sweet... so we both did that.
We caught each other up on all the drama and not drama that was going on and I shared with her stories and pictures of Belize. When we finished eating we started looking at pictures and just five short minutes into it, 50cent and other bump-n-grind songs were pumped into the speakers. Wouldn't you know, we picked the DJ night to have a good sister bonding time, ugh... owell, we drove back to my car and sat in her Jimmy looking at the rest of the pictures and jabbered for another hour and a half or so.
Close to when we were just realizing we should probably leave (it was close to 11pm), we heard a few clicks. It didn't really do anything else so it didn't phase us. Well, turns out that if you sit in a car with the radio on for a long time, it just might cause the battery to die. DOH! What the heck were we thinking?
Here the adventure starts... we of course don't have jumper cables, that would be way too convenient. Not a big deal, we'll just go to the nearest gas station and buy some, then they'll be there for future mis-haps. We get to the first gas station... closed. Second gas station.... closed. Third gas station... you get my point, closed. Damn small towners and closing early, it's all the fault of those pay at the pumps!
Then we think, oh yeah, we'll go to Coburns, they're a store, they should have jumper cables...
nope, they'd be in the gas station connected to the store which was of course.. closed. And of course they are seperate entities, so you still can't buy anything from them.
So, with two sleeping children at home, I wouldn't ever think to have Pat come down and get Karen, so I drove her home. I decided to just stay there the night and get to work early this morning... so on the way I stopped at Target and had an excuse to buy a new shirt and unmentionables... i hate the words that describe them, so anyways... (i should have put the word "panties" on my survey from wed. night about what word you hate... but I don't know if that would've been appropriate... for those of you who don't know... the leaders filled out a survey of questions and they'd read random ones for the kids to guess which leader it is/was)

So... there you have it! I'm off to a Howie Day performance... a free show in fact! Hurray for free events! Mpls Aquatennial starts up.. woop woop!

toodles all...

Happy 4th of July!

Hello again my friends... what a beautiful day to celebrate our Nation's birthday!

As I sit here, this is the second day I've been back from the beautiful country of Belize and I'm glad to be home. Sometimes I have a hard time being home, but this time around it feels really good to not be sweating 24/7 and not have biting flies attacking me at night, or unrestful nights of sleep because of those two things.

Today I will be spending the day with my parents, my sister's fam, and our good friends The Robinson's. We're going to Lake Orono in Elk River... picnicing and playing in the water with the boat... tubing and what not. And at the end of the day I believe they shoot off fireworks over the open water. Fun stuff!

I'm off to do that, but wanted to post something finally after two weeks down. :)
Have a blessed and safe day!

Good, busy weekend

As I sit here this monday morning and think of all the things I did this weekend, while still being able to get a good grasp on the things I needed to accomplish, I'm feeling pretty good. I had a little bit of a melt down yesturday, but my parents were there to see me through it and help me relax.
I just want to say that I love my friends... all of them. We're all at really different places in life and at times it is a struggle to know how it is changing and how to adapt. But, I think if you just keep trying to figure it out and wade through the confusing stuff, it'll figure itself out. The outcomes may be different than you had hoped, or maybe better than you hoped. In the end, you can look back at the journey through and learn from those ups and downs, twists and turns.
Sure, there are the times where those friendships really take a hault, but I do believe very much the saying that goes something like this, "friends come and go, but your true friends will be with you always... no matter the distance or length of time between being in touch" and also that "friends/people are there for certain times in life, and though you may never see them again, it doesn't make that time any less significant"

Anyways.... All that to say... I'm leaving tomorrow for Belize. I'll be gone until July 2nd, I will see you all at that time and have many stories and pictures to share.
Peace be with ya'll until then...
love ya

Unexpected Reactions to X&Y

Okay, this is a quick review, but I didn't want to put it off any longer. I bought the new coldplay cd right away at Target on Tuesday because it was only $10!! That was awesome! So, I was anticipating a great cd from beginning to end and when I popped it in the first time, it totally didn't grab me. I mean, I guess not all cds are like that, but with U2's new album the first song is just rockin' and sweet(now overplayed) and I actually had to take a couple listens to love the whole thing. Getting back to Colplay now, I listened to the first song in my car and like I said, it wasn't what I expected. That was the farthest I got until I pulled into work(it's very close to Target)... so I put it into my co-workers computer because she has louder speakers than mine, and I was really disapointed because the vocals were just nowhere to be heard... well, you could sort of hear them but not well. Since it was not my computer and not my speakers, I wasn't familiar with them and tried all I could to improve, so I was thinking that maybe it was the recording or how they wanted it. I was beginning to really wonder what I bought.
Well, it finally finished on the other computer and I decided to test it out on mine... WOW, what a difference! I could hear the vocals, that really makes all the difference in the world... you're all probably saying "duh.. hello, obviously it was the speakers"... but stranger things have happened, I tell you! Upon the second go through I was much more happy, but it definitely has a different tone. I really like Chris Martin's voice, and that hasn't changed. I think my favorite song so far is "Fix You"... mostly for an awesome instrumental bridge at the mid-end of the song. Calling it an intrumental sounds really boring... but it's awesome! I was never in formal music classes, so I don't remember terminology for what I'm hearing other than it just builds up to a climax and goes off into beautifully rocking guitar riff or sorts. I don't know much more how to explain it, but I really like it!
There's a non deep review of it... have a wonderful night... i'm off to dream-land now...
night all!

Memorial Day

On the evening of memorial day I went to see the fireworks at Harriett Island in St. Paul. I love fireworks, and they were a great start to a season of fireworks to come. The thing I love about those is that K102 puts together a montage of songs(not country!!) and spoken word tributing to veterans and present soldiers, etc. If you haven't noticed already, I am a big music junkie and it just grabs me and speaks in ways that plain words can't. I never quite know how I am going to react, and sometimes I don't understand fully why tears come.
I've never been one to feel like a huge patriotic parader, especially after my first trip to Haiti. I remember hearing the song "God Bless America" I cringed inside as I watched fireworks with a group of friends. I had tears, but not of pride and loyalty to my country, I was angry and didn't understand why America should be so blessed. Why wasn't it Haiti, Belize, India, Uganda, or Kenya that God blessed?
So, again, while watching these fireworks and hearing "I'm Proud to Be An American" the tears come. I try to figure out why because it's not those same feelings I had 6 or so years ago. I think it partly has to do with music just speaking to my soul in a way I don't understand, and also because I (in the case of this song) translate "proud" into thankful. I'm grateful to all of the troops fighting, and for the ones who have fought before them. I still don't understand, but I'm incredibly thankful to God that He has put me in this place of freedom. I'm so thankful, that I want to do everything I can, to serve and honor Him and use what He has given me. And really, to kind of answer that question I pondered years back, it's not that God hasn't blessed them. As wise men have said, this world is filled with good AND evil. The question could really spin off into one of those Sovreignty of God talks... which is more than I want to tackle or start at this point(especially since it's midnight). The point is... I don't know. Only God knows... one day all of the questions will be answered. Until then, I'm not going to make myself crazy trying to figure it out.

the decision

So... my decision about Coldplay...
not gonna do it.... :( to much saddness... but not regret because David had a good point that I'm sure in the next few years they will be here again. I hope this makes me no less of a Coldplay fan though. The reason for my plight is that I didn't really think of the money factor, i was thinking i'd just charge em, but i just can't bring myself to do it... the prices are indeed lower than U2, but not as low as I originally thought. And, right now, I have decided to make some financially smart decisions because as of late I haven't been. I have to start sometime and regretfully it is for this. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made... I feel a bit strange posting this kind of reason... so don't feel bad or anything like that. I'm really feeling okay about it, much worse things could happen(ie. see haiti blog). Maybe I'll win some off the radio... atleast I hadn't asked anyone if they'd want to go, that would really have sucked to tell them I couldn't.
Tha tha tha thaaaat's all folks!

my half birthday

wow... it doesn't seem that long ago that i was celebrating my 24th birthday, and now it's already been 6mos! I'll be old next year... 25, that's really really old! :) haha... just kidding
maybe my car insurance will go down more than a dollar this time! That's what it has been doing every six months lately... I have no idea why... maybe it's from the speeding ticket getting further and further away... think i got that in 01'... anyways...
another random thought from me...

have a happy and hopefully sunny day!

Coldplay blues

Two blogs in one night... is that allowed? sure it is...
so, i just thought i'd let anyone who cared about my other coldplay post know, that i infact did NOT get into the lottery to have a chance at the pre-sale tickets. I think it was all a scam just to take up 1min. of my precious time! :) So, the debate now is... how much do I really desire to see them in concert? It's not like I've been a fan since they started... it was really only two years ago... actually barely two years ago. That really shouldn't matter... in that time I've grown to enjoy them... there was a time I put them down so as to not get sick of them... but realized I just don't think I will. The songs are unique enough to not all sound the same... except you always know that it's a Coldplay song... if they become as big as U2, i could always have the story that I was saw them in concert... before tickets started at 50bucks a pop (that's what it was for U2, then it jumped up to 160 or something awful like that). they start at 34 for CP..

anyways... are they worth it to stand in line at the box office/ticketmaster hours before, just to get tickets?? that is my quandry for the week, they go on-sale this sat.... i must make my decision by friday night... any Coldplay fans have pros/cons for me on this? Anyone been to a concert of theirs... or know anyone I could check with.... i'm in a conundrum :)

What you see is...

what you get!

so, this is me... the good, the bad, and the ugly, and beautiful and strange and wierd and all other sorts of things...
Dave's sermon today, I really liked. about knowing yourself, the part i liked was. (just saw star wars... trying to talk like yoda... don't think it's quite working:))
Seriously though, I loved it when he said you should know your weirdness or something to that effect. We've all got our own stange ways about us... one strange thing about me, that Rich B. just pointed out to me tonite is that I remember random things... but to me, they're not random.
I actually have been told that before, but maybe the downer to that is I can't remember really simple things... like bringing my gym shoes with me in the morning when I plan to work out after work and not stop home before. So... back to how they're not really random... for instance this particular thing I brought up I was actually wrong because the person I thought was apart of the memory was not. The memory was of a bunch of youth leaders all going to Rich's house and watching Ed... it was an abnormal crowd. Usually it was just him, me and a couple others. This time it was so full I sat on the floor cuz the couch was all taken. AND, we were watching the ED episode of the Lucid Dream... it was just so not the norm, and that is why I remembered.
So... just one of the unique/stange/wierd things about me... like I said... what you see, is what you get on this blog... i like variety and spice... so that's how it'll be :) just like how I changed the color :)... again, i prolly didn't have to explain... but that's me... it's what i do. if you don't like it... go home! :) haha
good night... it's past my bed, oh uh, wait, since when have i had a bedtime...
(i'm so cheesy) :)

Something resonated here...

I was reading "Esther" A Woman of Strength and Dignity by Charles Swindoll tonite and He wrote a paragraph that describes a bit of what I was trying to get at in my blogs about women's roles today, etc. It just felt good to read someone else's thoughts on it and maybe it will make more sense how he says it...

I feel great compassion today for the woman of God who has to endure the nonsense that comes from the media regaurding her role, her significance, her place in society. I don't know of anyone who has more right to be confused than the woman of today. She receives all sorts of answers, all sorts of mixed messages, all sorts of alleged proof that independence is the only way to fly and that doing your own thing and becoming what you please will bring you peace and lasting joy. Women must wonder at times, in the midst of this whirlwind, what exactly they are supposed to do. What exactly are they supposed to be.

I'm glad I know the God of this world and I know where He wants me and what I want to strive for, in His eyes. I know that my role is not defined by society or what they say is right or wrong, but I am human, so it is easy to forget those simple yet truthful things about me and about whose I am.

(so, maybe I should start a blog that is more for serious things, and another for the "random" thoughts that I have that aren't so serious... or maybe this makes for an interesting blog because you never know what tone it will take on... whatevah :))

Fresh and New...

I decided to change the look of my site to a little more clean and fresh looking. You may find as time goes on that it may happen again. I get bored with the same look all the time... I like to switch things up. Which reminds me, I really need a new desktop image too... I usually change it every couple of weeks or so. I'm sure you don't care, but I just thought I'd give an explanation of the change. :) Change is good... Just like the days we've been having again... nice and sunny... i love the sun! Oh, yes, I was going to write a little blog about this...
Today had to go pick up lunch, so on my break I had the opportunity to be outside for a short bit. I love that feeling when you've been in a cold air conditioned building and then you come outside (or get into your sun beated car) and the heat just envelopes you, even if it's not deathly hot or humid. I thought of the analogy today that it gives you a hug... that kind of hug when it's from someone you least expect and they just come up from behind and give you a big squeeze. Tingles of warmth wash over your whole body and you just want to stand there for a moment and take it in. I love the sun!
sing with me now... "Mr. Sun, sun... Mr. Golden Sun..." that's all I remember...

So, here's to the sun and here's to the new fresh look!
i'm outie...

Shiver Me Timbers!

My pirate name is:

Calico Bess Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Coldplay in Concert!! (and on snl this sat. night!)

So, I'm really excited because Coldplay is going to be here in September, close to the time that U2 will also appear. I unfortunately was not able to get tickets to U2's show... so I'm determined to get tickets for Coldplay, so I'm ready this time. If you log onto their site and become a member, you can have access to a pre-sale of tickets.
They send you an email where you then enter what show you want, qty of tickets which the max was 4, and your email. They then will send me an email to confirm wether I got into this "lottery" to even have a chance at the pre-sale tickets. It still seems a hassel and quite annoying, but I'm doing what I can I guess. So, if I get in, they'll send me another email with this website to get to, to pre-order the tickets on May 24th...
I'm not sure anyone really cares so much to hear all of that.. but it was just on my mind and I'm hoping so much that I can get tickets to this concert!!
There was an interesting interview with them, mainly Chris Martin, in Blender this month. And, if you didn't hear, they are also going to be on SNL this saturday night. Gotta love em'!

Wedding Let down

Well, I'm all done with my two wedding weekends in a row. If you hadn't known, I was IN two weddings one weekend after the other. I hate how things end so quickly though, when you're building up for it, for so long, and then it's all over before you're ready.
The first wedding was fun because I was a bridesmaid along with one of my dearest friends, Angela. It made the day all the more fun, and at the end of the day we could drive home and hold each other up and not have so much of that "wedding let-down." I think it comes on more if you've been in the wedding because like I said, you plan for so long and then it's over. Especially for the attendants, and especially if you're single. You're good friend who got married plans and plans and then they get a sweet reward when it's over. I, on the other hand, go home and feel just a bit low. I'm not writing this to be a pathetic wimpering single girl, I'm confident for that one day, but it doesn't make the feeling in the moment any better. It's a reality, and if I ignore those feelings it will only get worse in the long run.
The wedding last night was a blast, but this one came with more emotion because I know Corinne and Rich so much better. There's a huge high of all the prep because it's a bunch of people I know to have fun and get ready with, walk down the aisle with, eat and drink with, and best of all DANCE with! :) (ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' Alive, stayin' Alive)
I saw a couple of people I hadn't seen in so long and it was great to connect with them as well. I think God really knows when and where to place people in your lives, even if it's just for a moment. One such lady, Janelle Jukabowski, had just the right words for me. I didn't even have to say any of the thoughts I had been thinking, she just said, "I will be praying for you" very intentionally and spoke words that really mattered.
I also saw a man who I've known over the years at more of a distance, him and my dad know each other and his wife and I were in a class at church last summer. I never knew he really knew who I was, but last night he greeted me and gave me a quick squeeze. And again, just spoke a few words. I don't remember what they were, but it was just a sweet gesture that I was blessed by.
So, getting back to that "let down" thing... it really wasn't as bad at the very end of the night. I had two very nice guys to hang out with and sway my mind from that. We went and "watched" a movie. I try to live up to the fact that I don't fall asleep during movies, but wow, I was more tired than I thought! Owell....anyways...
All in all, I was incredibly honored and blessed to be in the weddings these past two weeks, it was fun and an experience I'll not soon forget. I wouldn't trade the low feelings I am going through now, for anything. They're worth the price of standing by and supporting two wonderful couples... and other couples to come.
Peace-

What I know....

So, it was interesting to hear some thoughts from you guys about my previous post. Some things were confirming... others just funny and out of that I learned that I should sometimes process my thoughts better when I really want an opinion, so you can interpret what I'm saying better. The main thing I wanted to point out was the whole idea that right now it seems that there has been a role reversal in society... I should have maybe stated that line... But of course writing about that spurred my mind into a spiral of other thoughts.

And, I just have to point out that it's interesting how men and women pick up on different things. It's true I went on about a lot of other things, but both comments were largely focused on what makes a date a date... that was really only a 1/4 of what I wrote. That's just what makes us unique to our genders I guess :).

One last thing to end that topic with...
- I do believe there are still gentlemen/chivalres men out there... That's all I really hope for, someone who will open doors and pull out chairs, be assertive and intentional when the time is right etc. I don't expect a fairy tale... but I know as it all unfolds, it will be great cuz it will be my story.

The End.
:)

Assertiveness v. Old Fashioned Chivalry

Over the last couple of years I've found myself in this interesting and yet sometimes frustrating dilema. It's not really a dilema, as if I'm paranoid or always thinking about it, more just as the case arises. So, here's my ponder and what I mean by the title.

For some years now it has been much more common for women in this day and age to be the first to be the initiators in a relationship. Or, in lay-mens terms, to ask a guy out on a date, as opposed to waiting for them to do the deed. I've often struggled with this, being a christian woman and really wanting to hold on to the old fashioned principles of the man taking the initiative. But, on the other hand what comes up in my head is this:
Does the guy think it's a date if you casually ask them to hang out when you're just getting to know them? and When is dating, dating, and when is it just a guy and a girl hanging out. Is it automatically considered a date when the guy pays, or if nothing has been said between them, is it just a nice gesture as a friend? I suppose it gets tricky though as well... because if the girl really is interested in the guy then she would hope it's a date, but if nothing is ever said then maybe it's just one of those unknown's and you find out later. I guess it's all in the getting to know you stages, and you have to just wait it out. Appreciate the gesture and not think much into it unless he says something more.
So, that brings me to another thing, if the girl tries to bring up, "so what is this"(if it hasn't been defined)... is that taking away the man's right to be the Chivalres guy he deserves to be? I don't know, maybe we as women have to be more patient and know that it's in God's perfect timing... but geez I've heard that line so many times... I believe it, but it's not something I love to sit and think on.
You see, I think that women my age have it harder these days because the lines are no where to be found anymore. Do guys expect the girl to do more initiating in the beginning now, or always... does that set a precedent then when you're in the relationship. I don't know, I don't have a huge opinion one way or the other, I just wonder what others think.

So, I know that it has to be really hard for men to go out on a limb and take a risk, so I really understand. But, somewhere I've got to believe there are still guys out there who want to do the Knight in Shining Armor thing... lately I think they've gotten easy with all the assertive women out there... Or maybe that's just outside the lines of christians? I don't know...

Well, this is coming from a girl who really hasn't had any official relationships, and really I've never had the chance to say yes or no... okay well once I dated the boy I went to prom with for two weeks, but he doesn't count, we were both caught up in the moment. So, this is why my wonderings are so non-concrete, if that makes sense.
This has been rolling around in my head for so long(and I think of it in such randome times), I just decided to blog it and leave it here. If I hear nothing, then owell. :) Atleast I've pounded it out of my head now and forget about it:).
bye for now...

Finding Neverland

What an amazingly well done movie. I had been hearing such differing opinions on this one and now I can understand why. I think some people just don't know how to enjoy an artfully dramatic kind of movie, they just don't know how to integrate the beautiful imagery into the story and how it really plays a big part in how you understand the movie. If you let it in, it can take you deep into the heart of what they were trying to get across. That's my "artist" hat speaking. I just loved the story too. My mom works at a Senior Housing developement and plans activities for the residents and this happened to be one of the movies they watched once. She said it was the first time she had more than a couple of them in tears. I guess there were about 10 who were brought to tears. It makes sense, being they are older and probably often wonder about death. I could see it being an inspiring or possibly motivating movie for them. If you haven't seen it I don't want to go into detail, but you'll understand when/if you do/have.

Props to Johnny Depp as well... that man has deserved an oscar so many times, I wonder if he'll be one of those older actors who never won an award but did phenominal jobs each time. He is just so versatile and really "gets" the role he's playing you feel like that's really him as if there is no difference between his acting and his real life person. Not to mention his boyish charm and good looks. Who can resist him? :) tee hee

Well, that's my blog for this week... later ya'll