Saturday, July 14, 2007
It's up!
I decided to just "Go 4 Launch".... click here for a direct link to my new Aussie blog! Woot Woot!
Connected!
For almost two weeks now, my computer has been dis-connected from the internet. I kept thinking to myself, "This computer was a ton of money, I should be able to use it without being connected to the internet." It's amazing how crippled I felt the computer was without having internet!
The last two weeks have been really busy with work, and it didn't help with 4th of July being at such an odd time. I finally got to yesterday and was relieved to see that the folders on my desk were all pretty much up to date. What a great feeling, so with all that done I left a little early!
I wrote a blog for my new blog site in that span of time, knowing that while in Australia, I may not have a lot of time on the internet and will be needing to journal at times I'm not "connected." I'm still working on the new blog look, but hopefully it will be up next week! Hurrah!
This next week I will be house-sitting for two friends... they live not a mile down from each other. I'm glad I can help both of them out! One family has two dogs, the other two cats... and of course plants to water, etc. It shouldn't be too hard, and they live by some biking trails so I might do some of that this week. Yay!
The last two weeks have been really busy with work, and it didn't help with 4th of July being at such an odd time. I finally got to yesterday and was relieved to see that the folders on my desk were all pretty much up to date. What a great feeling, so with all that done I left a little early!
I wrote a blog for my new blog site in that span of time, knowing that while in Australia, I may not have a lot of time on the internet and will be needing to journal at times I'm not "connected." I'm still working on the new blog look, but hopefully it will be up next week! Hurrah!
This next week I will be house-sitting for two friends... they live not a mile down from each other. I'm glad I can help both of them out! One family has two dogs, the other two cats... and of course plants to water, etc. It shouldn't be too hard, and they live by some biking trails so I might do some of that this week. Yay!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
it's NOT about me
74To grant us that we, being rescued from the hand of our enemies,
Might serve Him without fear,
75In holiness and righteousness before Him all our days.
76"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;
For you will go on BEFORE THE LORD TO PREPARE HIS WAYS;
77To give to His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins,
78Because of the tender mercy of our God,
With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,
79 TO SHINE UPON THOSE WHO SIT IN DARKNESS AND THE SHADOW OF DEATH,
To guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:74-79 Zacharias's Prophecy (the last half)
(capitals added by bible.com... color added by me)
These verses spoke to me tonight in an unpexpected way.
I was looking for a verse to go with the blog I'm setting up and this one popped up in my search of "serve" at "bible.com." I know I have read this passage before, but it really sunk in tonight... the first thing that jumped out was at the end of verse 74 where it says "[That they] Might serve Him without fear" -
For the longest time I've always feared that I won't say the right thing when it comes time for me to really lead someone into a genuine relationship with Christ. That fear comes from many different places, one of those places was the time I was "trained" as a camp counselor. I was still very immature in my faith, and the training didn't seem to express that it wasn't about me saying the right things or verses. I came away with this heaviness around how I was going to "make sure" each child in my cabin knew whether or not she was going to heaven.
What I've learned over the last 6years or so, is that I had a role to play, but it wasn't the main character. The role was to let the Holy Spirit speak through me, and He will do the rest. Though the fear still lingers, I believe that God will use this willing heart however He desires, with or without words.
Thank God, it's not about me!
Monday, June 25, 2007
YWAM.... info...
A new blog... etc is coming very soon... just thought I'd let you know... I'm hoping to get it going by the first week in July (it's so soon already!!).
Any suggestions for fun adventurous names of the blog?!
Any suggestions for fun adventurous names of the blog?!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
in the last two weeks
I packed boxes.
Went to two grad parties.
Packed more boxes.
Read up on the Belize blog.
Procrastinated packing all boxes.
Mom came over to stop the procrastination.
Had my Dad and Brother in Law move my furniture and some boxes on Father's Day.
Packed boxes with my sister, josh, and sarah's help.
Ate Buffalo Wild Wings for Father's Day Dinner.
Expedited my passport renewal.
Made trips to my house for more stuff to move.
Brought my mom and dad to Erin's Cookie Nook before bringing them to the airport.
Procrastinated UNpacking boxes.
Went to a grad party.
UNpacked some boxes.
Went to another grad party.
Went to dinner to celebrate a wonderful friend.
And here I am at almost midnight...
The Belize team is back, and I heard some stories... they were beautiful stories and I also just looked at some pictures which are equally as beautiful!
Thank you Lord for doing a mighty work in the relationships that were formed and renewed. For showing your Glory in the lives of the students and Belizeans.
Went to two grad parties.
Packed more boxes.
Read up on the Belize blog.
Procrastinated packing all boxes.
Mom came over to stop the procrastination.
Had my Dad and Brother in Law move my furniture and some boxes on Father's Day.
Packed boxes with my sister, josh, and sarah's help.
Ate Buffalo Wild Wings for Father's Day Dinner.
Expedited my passport renewal.
Made trips to my house for more stuff to move.
Brought my mom and dad to Erin's Cookie Nook before bringing them to the airport.
Procrastinated UNpacking boxes.
Went to a grad party.
UNpacked some boxes.
Went to another grad party.
Went to dinner to celebrate a wonderful friend.
And here I am at almost midnight...
The Belize team is back, and I heard some stories... they were beautiful stories and I also just looked at some pictures which are equally as beautiful!
Thank you Lord for doing a mighty work in the relationships that were formed and renewed. For showing your Glory in the lives of the students and Belizeans.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
it hurts
my heart
that I have to stay back, and the others get to go to the place I left some of my heart
when you're put in a place that you know you need to be, but desperately want to be in another at the same time
...
the youth belize team is leaving tomorrow morning. i don't know what else to say about it, except that it just hit me today how much i wish i could go. i've said and thought it many times, i just didn't know how it would land when it came down to the day.
i hurt..
i want to be with them
i want to grieve the loss of cindy again without distraction of a youth pastor having been fired the next day
i want to talk to vicky(her mom), but feel like it has been SO long since I've talked to her that now i can't
i want to love on them the best i know how
....
Lord,
give the students eyes to see and ears to hear what you want them to... how they can love on the Ariolas... yet, not overwhelm them.
may vicky and neal feel the love and support and be able to take it in.
amen
that I have to stay back, and the others get to go to the place I left some of my heart
when you're put in a place that you know you need to be, but desperately want to be in another at the same time
...
the youth belize team is leaving tomorrow morning. i don't know what else to say about it, except that it just hit me today how much i wish i could go. i've said and thought it many times, i just didn't know how it would land when it came down to the day.
i hurt..
i want to be with them
i want to grieve the loss of cindy again without distraction of a youth pastor having been fired the next day
i want to talk to vicky(her mom), but feel like it has been SO long since I've talked to her that now i can't
i want to love on them the best i know how
....
Lord,
give the students eyes to see and ears to hear what you want them to... how they can love on the Ariolas... yet, not overwhelm them.
may vicky and neal feel the love and support and be able to take it in.
amen
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Painting Project
I forgot to tell about later that night! My sister and I were doing this painting project with the kids the week prior and needed to finish. In short, we painted 3 canvases each a diff color to match their bedspread. On each canvas we wanted the kids to put hand and feet prints on with white paint. Seems simple enough, but the hardest part was convincing them that it would look cool, and that it wasn't for their rooms anyways! :)
We first did Sarah's and made a flower from her hand prints and the stem with her feet. (that was the week earlier)... next we attempted to do little flowers with Julia's hands and stems with her feet. The feet worked pretty good, the hands were a WHOLE 'nother story. I wasn't optimistic about the hands, but my sister was determined and in the effort I accidentally clocked her in the eye with the canvas. The whole time Julia was a "bit" upset with the whole fiasco, so my
sister finally gave up and we decided to just make "vines" out of her feet marks. Joshua was surprisingly hard to convince at first as well, but finally we made a deal with him and he cooperated. With his we made a "palm" tree... haha get it? Palm tree?!? Haha... okay, bad joke... but it turned out pretty cute!
Such fun times!
We first did Sarah's and made a flower from her hand prints and the stem with her feet. (that was the week earlier)... next we attempted to do little flowers with Julia's hands and stems with her feet. The feet worked pretty good, the hands were a WHOLE 'nother story. I wasn't optimistic about the hands, but my sister was determined and in the effort I accidentally clocked her in the eye with the canvas. The whole time Julia was a "bit" upset with the whole fiasco, so my
Such fun times!
Much fun in the land of Tinkerbell birthday parties!
About a week ago was Sarah's 6th birthday. It was a crazy zoo that my sister and I BOTH learned lessons from. Everything went fine as far as the kids knew, but we weren't prepared as we thought ("we" should be held loosely, my sis didn't expect me to do a whole lot of prep), so while the kids were first showing up we were gluing(sp?) butterflies on sticks to make "fairy wands" and twisting star wire garlands to make fairy "crowns" or "garlands."
While doing so, the girls were running up and down the stairs from the playroom to Sarah's room to the living room. All the while, in the living room "Peter Pan" was playing and in Sarah's room a boombox was playing songs like Pink's "Get the Party Started" sung by some kids band, and that was the favorite song so it was played over and over. Needless to say, it was time to really "Get the Party Started," so my sister decided to pull out Pin the Tail on the "Unicorn" while I finished the fairy garlands. My dad even got in on the fairy garland making action which proved to be a great help in finishing.
After "Pin the Tail on the Unicorn," we had them make their little
"wands." I have to stop and say that my sister is very creative... no that's too conservative.. EXTREMELY creative when it comes to crafts for little kids (not to mention, makes the best birthday cakes! decorated and all). I get so stressed out with little kids hovering around me needing help, I could have never decided what would be the easiest thing to make. I don't think these were easy, but Karen sure made it seem pretty easy. After the wand making craft, I handed out their "fairy garlands" and they took a break from structure and had the run of the place while we cleaned up a bit and got ready for the "Tinkerbell Pinãta."
(This is where the fun started (for me atleast).)
For the first hour or so the boys were still hanging around the house helping with whatever they could. But, the plan was for my dad to take Pat and Josh out on the boat while the girls were taking over the house.
The original plan my sister had was to have the Pinãta hang from the basketball hoop, but the boys had already left and they don't have a ladder. I decided that we could hang it from a tree, and I'd just climb up and tie the Pinãta on one of the branches. It was a great excuse to climb a tree, so I was all over it! Litterally. It wasn't too high, but I did use a chair to find leverage. I had forgotten that the tree would be moist, since it had been raining earlier in the day, so as I fenagled my way up (very ungracefully) my pants got a bit dirty and wet. The girls were in a stitch over me climbing and getting dirty. They kept saying "Your feet are all dirty!"
What makes it even more funny (and I think I forgot to tell my sister), was that I thought it was the kind where they were going to hit until they could get candy out. You know, the traditional long-standing way to do a Pinãta. (i bet i don't need to capitalize that! :)) Apparently, they make some now that have strings at the bottom, everyone grabs a string and pulls at the count of 3! It's probably best for that age, but I was expecting to "make it hard" and move the pinãta around so everyone had a chance to try. Thus, the more importance of being in the tree to have that kind of access. The sad part was that we never got a picture of me in the tree, just all the little girlies pulling the strings and then scavanging for the candy and prizes! OF course, it wasn't about me, but it would've been a funny site to see! (you can see my legs dangling down, though)
One of the biggest reasons I planned on being at the party was to do face painting, but I quickly realized that it might not really be needed. The time of the party was 2pm-4pm, and by the time the pinãta was finished, I think it was close to 3:15/30 and we hadn't done presents or cake. Those things went to just about 4, so I painted faces at the end as the moms were showing up. The mom's were all pretty flexible and waited for their kids to get painted, but working under pressure doesn't produce the best results in some cases. Atleast they are only 6 and probably don't have much to compare it to. Sarah kept her purple kitty on her face until monday I think!
It was so fun to see her interact with all her little friends, it's so apparent that she is definitely the social butterfly and is not very shy!
Thanks to those who stuck the whole story out, there was just so much to say! And, that was only SAturday. Sunday was lunch with the family to celebrate... and that was lots of fun, too! But, I'll leave all the details out. :)
While doing so, the girls were running up and down the stairs from the playroom to Sarah's room to the living room. All the while, in the living room "Peter Pan" was playing and in Sarah's room a boombox was playing songs like Pink's "Get the Party Started" sung by some kids band, and that was the favorite song so it was played over and over. Needless to say, it was time to really "Get the Party Started," so my sister decided to pull out Pin the Tail on the "Unicorn" while I finished the fairy garlands. My dad even got in on the fairy garland making action which proved to be a great help in finishing.
After "Pin the Tail on the Unicorn," we had them make their little
(This is where the fun started (for me atleast).)
For the first hour or so the boys were still hanging around the house helping with whatever they could. But, the plan was for my dad to take Pat and Josh out on the boat while the girls were taking over the house.
The original plan my sister had was to have the Pinãta hang from the basketball hoop, but the boys had already left and they don't have a ladder. I decided that we could hang it from a tree, and I'd just climb up and tie the Pinãta on one of the branches. It was a great excuse to climb a tree, so I was all over it! Litterally. It wasn't too high, but I did use a chair to find leverage. I had forgotten that the tree would be moist, since it had been raining earlier in the day, so as I fenagled my way up (very ungracefully) my pants got a bit dirty and wet. The girls were in a stitch over me climbing and getting dirty. They kept saying "Your feet are all dirty!"
What makes it even more funny (and I think I forgot to tell my sister), was that I thought it was the kind where they were going to hit until they could get candy out. You know, the traditional long-standing way to do a Pinãta. (i bet i don't need to capitalize that! :)) Apparently, they make some now that have strings at the bottom, everyone grabs a string and pulls at the count of 3! It's probably best for that age, but I was expecting to "make it hard" and move the pinãta around so everyone had a chance to try. Thus, the more importance of being in the tree to have that kind of access. The sad part was that we never got a picture of me in the tree, just all the little girlies pulling the strings and then scavanging for the candy and prizes! OF course, it wasn't about me, but it would've been a funny site to see! (you can see my legs dangling down, though)
One of the biggest reasons I planned on being at the party was to do face painting, but I quickly realized that it might not really be needed. The time of the party was 2pm-4pm, and by the time the pinãta was finished, I think it was close to 3:15/30 and we hadn't done presents or cake. Those things went to just about 4, so I painted faces at the end as the moms were showing up. The mom's were all pretty flexible and waited for their kids to get painted, but working under pressure doesn't produce the best results in some cases. Atleast they are only 6 and probably don't have much to compare it to. Sarah kept her purple kitty on her face until monday I think!
It was so fun to see her interact with all her little friends, it's so apparent that she is definitely the social butterfly and is not very shy!
Thanks to those who stuck the whole story out, there was just so much to say! And, that was only SAturday. Sunday was lunch with the family to celebrate... and that was lots of fun, too! But, I'll leave all the details out. :)
Monday, May 07, 2007
party pictures...
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Happy Birthday Sarah!
Today is my niece, Sarah's, 6th Birthday! Six years ago to the day, she was born around 5ish... (i'm not her mom, i don't have to remember). One of the happiest days of my life, I had never experienced a birth so closely related, I can't imagine how it might feel one day to have my own children.
This weekend is all about Sarah, tomorrow is a birthday party with her friends that I'll be painting faces, arms, etc. at, along with crowd control in which the last I heard there were 8 who RSVP'd. Shouldn't be too bad :).
Sunday afternoon is lunch at my parents' place with the whole fam, mom dad, gramma, lee, and ant berda. We haven't been all together since Christmas, so it should be a good time to catch up and celebrate a little girl we all love so dearly!
Details shall come after the festivities.
Monday, April 30, 2007
April 30th, already?!
two things...
- I can't believe how fast this month went by!! A month ago this very night/(early morning) I was waiting for a call from my sister to tell me I needed to high-tail my butt up to St. Cloud to see my niece being born. I never got the call, but as planned I drove up at 7:30am. It got me to thinking... (how time flies)... is it because the weather is nicer and that I am more pleased with life overall because of that fact, or is it because I really do get a lot busier? It's probably a combination, in which if so, does that mean if I lived in Florida and had the same life that it would be busier?
- I was in Paynesville today playing with the nieces and nephew (i've wanted to say that for a long time :)) and sis and bro in law. It was a delightful time! We played on the computer, ate lunch, played "baseball" after watching the poor twins loose, and painted canvases. Julia of course didn't do much active playing, just the occasional cry and dirty diaper and feeding. My mom got some good pictures with me and the gang... when I get them from her, I plan to promptly post them! :)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Karma with K & C
If I believed in Karma.... this would be a great example.
The story I am about to tell doesn't have a whole lot to do with me, just something I witnessed with two individuals who I grew up with in youth group. They were the "trouble makers" back in the day and now one has a position with the youth in the church and the other is stepping in as a leader for awhile again. I'll just be calling them K&C, it probably doesn't matter, but owell.
This is how it goes... After youth group on wed. night I saw C and spoke with him about some pictures I found for Seniors Night. As we were talking K interupted and went on to tell C about an incident that happened in his small group room.
Apparently, before K reached his small group room the guys thought it would be fun to light a ping pong ball on fire to see what would happen(i came up with the reason, it's the only one i've figured). I'm a little uninformed about how the fire was put out exactly, or by whom, but in the process there was a large burn mark that was made in the carpet.
Absolutely hilarious. It's nice that K was good enough to give C a heads up before he heard about it from someone else.
Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall inside the family life cubicles on a thursday morning/afternoon!
Here's to all the youth workers of the world! :)
The story I am about to tell doesn't have a whole lot to do with me, just something I witnessed with two individuals who I grew up with in youth group. They were the "trouble makers" back in the day and now one has a position with the youth in the church and the other is stepping in as a leader for awhile again. I'll just be calling them K&C, it probably doesn't matter, but owell.
This is how it goes... After youth group on wed. night I saw C and spoke with him about some pictures I found for Seniors Night. As we were talking K interupted and went on to tell C about an incident that happened in his small group room.
Apparently, before K reached his small group room the guys thought it would be fun to light a ping pong ball on fire to see what would happen(i came up with the reason, it's the only one i've figured). I'm a little uninformed about how the fire was put out exactly, or by whom, but in the process there was a large burn mark that was made in the carpet.
Absolutely hilarious. It's nice that K was good enough to give C a heads up before he heard about it from someone else.
Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall inside the family life cubicles on a thursday morning/afternoon!
Here's to all the youth workers of the world! :)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Velvet Elvis
For the last couple months I have been reading the book, "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. I just finished and have so many things running through my head... good things... hard things... questions.. here is what I have to share about it tonight...
You all know that I have been accepted into a DTS (discipleship training school) program with YWAM (youth with a mission) in Australia. I've had a passion to serve for many years.. the least and lost have always been at the center of my soul. Youth have also been a big passion as well, and the place I have served for almost 10 years. But, another passion that has been simmering in me for the last couple years is serving in the community. I say "simmering" because since the first spark, I haven't done a whole lot about it.
A few years ago I lived in an apartment in Brooklyn Park in a semi-sketchy neighborhood.. Zane and 65th. It was a complex of many buildings, ours was shaped like a "U" and in the middle was a large parking lot. We had a ground level apartment with a patio that went out to the parking . The area was always a swarm with children of all ages... sometimes getting into trouble, other times just playing in the small yards near the patios.
My roomates and I often kept the patio door open in the warm months and the kids seemed to swarm to our patio slab. I decided at some point to buy bubbles and another time a bucket of chalk. It wasn't something I had an agenda for, just a place for the kids to play and have fun.
Why am I sharing this? Well, it's the place where that simmering began, and I've often missed those days... also because "Velvet Elvis" answered a question I always had at those times... and that was... "should I be doing more?" meaning, the doctrine from my counselor days in the summer after my senior year came flooding back. I never felt "good enough" because I rarely sat down with each of my girls to get them to "convert" or "re-dedicate"... I hated that part. I always had this guilty feeling turning in my papers at the end of the week.
Here is a great quote that I always felt in my spirit, that speaks to this situation....
I'm not saying here that we shouldn't share our faith, but I want to learn how to do it so that it doesn't have an agenda. That it's me sharing this love that I cannot explain... without asking the person at the end if they want to become a christian, and can you repeat this prayer after me. If the person desires that, I'm trusting that God will speak to their heart. I don't have to be the one to help them say a prayer... I don't have to be there at all.
You all know that I have been accepted into a DTS (discipleship training school) program with YWAM (youth with a mission) in Australia. I've had a passion to serve for many years.. the least and lost have always been at the center of my soul. Youth have also been a big passion as well, and the place I have served for almost 10 years. But, another passion that has been simmering in me for the last couple years is serving in the community. I say "simmering" because since the first spark, I haven't done a whole lot about it.
A few years ago I lived in an apartment in Brooklyn Park in a semi-sketchy neighborhood.. Zane and 65th. It was a complex of many buildings, ours was shaped like a "U" and in the middle was a large parking lot. We had a ground level apartment with a patio that went out to the parking . The area was always a swarm with children of all ages... sometimes getting into trouble, other times just playing in the small yards near the patios.
My roomates and I often kept the patio door open in the warm months and the kids seemed to swarm to our patio slab. I decided at some point to buy bubbles and another time a bucket of chalk. It wasn't something I had an agenda for, just a place for the kids to play and have fun.
Why am I sharing this? Well, it's the place where that simmering began, and I've often missed those days... also because "Velvet Elvis" answered a question I always had at those times... and that was... "should I be doing more?" meaning, the doctrine from my counselor days in the summer after my senior year came flooding back. I never felt "good enough" because I rarely sat down with each of my girls to get them to "convert" or "re-dedicate"... I hated that part. I always had this guilty feeling turning in my papers at the end of the week.
Here is a great quote that I always felt in my spirit, that speaks to this situation....
"Oftentimes the Christian community has sent the message that we love people and build relationships in order to convert them to the Christian faith. So there is an agenda. And when there is an agenda, it isn't really love, is it? We have to rediscover love, period. Love that loves because it is what Jesus teaches us to do. We have to surrender our agendas. Because some people aren't going to become Christians like us no matter how hard we push. They just aren't. And at some point we have to commit them to God, trusting that God loves them more than we ever could."
-Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis
I'm not saying here that we shouldn't share our faith, but I want to learn how to do it so that it doesn't have an agenda. That it's me sharing this love that I cannot explain... without asking the person at the end if they want to become a christian, and can you repeat this prayer after me. If the person desires that, I'm trusting that God will speak to their heart. I don't have to be the one to help them say a prayer... I don't have to be there at all.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Mountain Highs and Valley Lows
March certainly came in like a lion, and has gone out like a lamb.
Both literally and figuratively.
With the big snow in the beginning of March, came big news of my acceptance into the DTS program with YWAM in Brisbane Australia. Such excitement and mixed emotions, as I wrote about previously here.
About a week later came the news of my dear little girl-friend Cindy Ariola. She passed away one night after battling flu like symptoms on and off for a couple weeks. This was hard news to hear, but we all came together and prayed for her brothers, sisters, mother and father. It was a night of celebration that Cindy would now be walking, running, and singing in heaven.
The following Wed. night was another sorrow filled night... the leaders all sat in our usual meeting and dinner before the evening and received the news that our Senior High youth pastor was asked to resign.. or at that point had just read a letter stating he was leaving. We all sat in disbelief, not having any questions answered, just that he was gone and that we had to keep our faces straight until the night started and the youth were told. It was the hardest night I've ever faced as a youth leader. They gave us nothing, and at the beginning I blindly trusted that the leadership of the church new what they were doing and as the questions came in small group, I held to that belief. Later that night and the next day, the truth in my heart was revealed, and my blogs followed in my confusion and frustration.
The weekend that followed was filled with plans and trying to get ready to go to Colorado for a Ransomed Heart Ministries, "Captivating" women's retreat. It was the PERFECT time to get away and find rest in the arms of my abba father. Although it was hard being away for the next wed. night, not being there for the kids, my own heart needed healing. Before the retreat I met with an old friend in Denver and had some beautiful time re-connecting with her and rest at her house.
There is so much to say about the retreat I don't really know where to start. I met some beautiful hearts... many that were my age and some that were older and wiser. I had time to wrestle with God and be really frustrated and mad, but also time as I mentioned earlier to just sit in the arms of my father. Let him embrace me as I cried out and yelled and carried on... I wanted so much for him to tell me the exact things I needed to do when I arrived home. To start a petition, walk out, change churches, boycott.... but none of those were things He said to me. The words I came away with were Ruthless Trust (which I actually hear is a good book), trusting in him even when I don't understand how I can.... knowing that He is the only one I need to trust... I don't have to trust the leadership of the church, because no matter how hard they try, they will never do things perfectly. It sucks and I hate that.... but we're human and messy... and God's not.
It was a wonderful time to take in God's beauty of the Mountians and make some really great new friends.
I got home last monday with the news that my sister had almost gone into labor the friday I was in Denver. I was most pleased when I heard it didn't happen because I was supposed to be in the room with her this time around. The week at work brought much to do, but it was nicely manageable(sp?).
On thursday my sister was having numbness in her legs and her doctor wasn't being very proactive... long story short, they switched to a doctor in St. Cloud and he was very proactive and scheduled to induce on Thursday. To prepare for this they use gel to "soften" the cervix, to see if that would help her to go into labor on her own. She started on her own, but it suddenly stopped, so late on Thursday night/Friday wee early morning they started the ptosin (i'm sure that's spelled wrong!!). I drove up to St. Cloud on fri. morning and got there around 8:30am.. and she decided she wanted an epideral... it was a long hard night and she needed some relief.
I'll add more details in another post, but she had my beautiful niece Julia Ann at 12:09 pm... what an amazing miracle of life! It was the coolest thing to experience, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
a beautiful symbol of March going out like a lamb, my sweet little Julia Ann..........
pictures to come
Both literally and figuratively.
With the big snow in the beginning of March, came big news of my acceptance into the DTS program with YWAM in Brisbane Australia. Such excitement and mixed emotions, as I wrote about previously here.
About a week later came the news of my dear little girl-friend Cindy Ariola. She passed away one night after battling flu like symptoms on and off for a couple weeks. This was hard news to hear, but we all came together and prayed for her brothers, sisters, mother and father. It was a night of celebration that Cindy would now be walking, running, and singing in heaven.
The following Wed. night was another sorrow filled night... the leaders all sat in our usual meeting and dinner before the evening and received the news that our Senior High youth pastor was asked to resign.. or at that point had just read a letter stating he was leaving. We all sat in disbelief, not having any questions answered, just that he was gone and that we had to keep our faces straight until the night started and the youth were told. It was the hardest night I've ever faced as a youth leader. They gave us nothing, and at the beginning I blindly trusted that the leadership of the church new what they were doing and as the questions came in small group, I held to that belief. Later that night and the next day, the truth in my heart was revealed, and my blogs followed in my confusion and frustration.
The weekend that followed was filled with plans and trying to get ready to go to Colorado for a Ransomed Heart Ministries, "Captivating" women's retreat. It was the PERFECT time to get away and find rest in the arms of my abba father. Although it was hard being away for the next wed. night, not being there for the kids, my own heart needed healing. Before the retreat I met with an old friend in Denver and had some beautiful time re-connecting with her and rest at her house.
There is so much to say about the retreat I don't really know where to start. I met some beautiful hearts... many that were my age and some that were older and wiser. I had time to wrestle with God and be really frustrated and mad, but also time as I mentioned earlier to just sit in the arms of my father. Let him embrace me as I cried out and yelled and carried on... I wanted so much for him to tell me the exact things I needed to do when I arrived home. To start a petition, walk out, change churches, boycott.... but none of those were things He said to me. The words I came away with were Ruthless Trust (which I actually hear is a good book), trusting in him even when I don't understand how I can.... knowing that He is the only one I need to trust... I don't have to trust the leadership of the church, because no matter how hard they try, they will never do things perfectly. It sucks and I hate that.... but we're human and messy... and God's not.
It was a wonderful time to take in God's beauty of the Mountians and make some really great new friends.
I got home last monday with the news that my sister had almost gone into labor the friday I was in Denver. I was most pleased when I heard it didn't happen because I was supposed to be in the room with her this time around. The week at work brought much to do, but it was nicely manageable(sp?).
On thursday my sister was having numbness in her legs and her doctor wasn't being very proactive... long story short, they switched to a doctor in St. Cloud and he was very proactive and scheduled to induce on Thursday. To prepare for this they use gel to "soften" the cervix, to see if that would help her to go into labor on her own. She started on her own, but it suddenly stopped, so late on Thursday night/Friday wee early morning they started the ptosin (i'm sure that's spelled wrong!!). I drove up to St. Cloud on fri. morning and got there around 8:30am.. and she decided she wanted an epideral... it was a long hard night and she needed some relief.
I'll add more details in another post, but she had my beautiful niece Julia Ann at 12:09 pm... what an amazing miracle of life! It was the coolest thing to experience, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
a beautiful symbol of March going out like a lamb, my sweet little Julia Ann..........
pictures to come
Monday, March 19, 2007
trust
What do you do when you feel like an injustice has been served, but it has been served by the top people... who are they accountable to?
What kind of action can be taken, and how will it be perceived?
Trusting that God has some sort of plan, when the people you are supposed to admire for their faith have made a grave mistake, is really hard.
This is vague... but I'm sure we've all had these situations in the past. This one just feels so huge and out of my control, but like I said HUGE. It's important, and I feel like something must be done.
If you want to know what I'm talking about... just ask anyone involved with the youth at Open Door. I have no time or energy to re-tell it or re-hash it for the hundreth time.
I'm leaving for Colorado... pray that it is a time of renewing and refining... and directing.
What kind of action can be taken, and how will it be perceived?
Trusting that God has some sort of plan, when the people you are supposed to admire for their faith have made a grave mistake, is really hard.
This is vague... but I'm sure we've all had these situations in the past. This one just feels so huge and out of my control, but like I said HUGE. It's important, and I feel like something must be done.
If you want to know what I'm talking about... just ask anyone involved with the youth at Open Door. I have no time or energy to re-tell it or re-hash it for the hundreth time.
I'm leaving for Colorado... pray that it is a time of renewing and refining... and directing.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
God Help me
Gripping on so tight with the security I have inside
Knowing what is right holding onto my pride
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
And my brokenness I will bring
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even tho my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to what I know
I'm letting go
-Jeremy Camp
Lord, I'm not ready to let go.......
until the truth is revealed and explained
Knowing what is right holding onto my pride
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
And my brokenness I will bring
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even tho my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to what I know
I'm letting go
-Jeremy Camp
Lord, I'm not ready to let go.......
until the truth is revealed and explained
Monday, March 12, 2007
In memoriam, Cindy Ariola
Cindy died early this morning after being sick for several days. Cindy was the sibling of Raheem, Destiny, Josiah and Sarah. Daughter of Neil and Vicki Ariola.
This is one of the little children in Hopkins Village, Belize, who had brittle bone disease, in whose house I painted characters on the wall. There was a small memorial gathering in her honor tonight.
The time tonight was nice... a good way to remember Cindy and know that she is DANCING and RUNNING around in heaven in her new body! She was only 9years old and full of peace, love and joy. Always wiggling around and "dancing on the table" as music was played, or if we would just sing together. I remember a time where she and Destiny both were asking me to dance all over... one of my favorite old worship songs was playing "The River is Here" I danced and we sang and laughed. What a beautiful expression of worship...
The last night I was with the Ariola family in June and saying my goodbyes, Raheem decided to let me video tape him saying something into the camera. He said, "Bye, see you next, um see you sometime, say hi to everyone." And then Cindy wanted to say something as well, so I video taped her and asked "Okay, what do you want to say?" and Cindy said "I love you so much!"
It's really hard not knowing when I'll be back to Belize to see the family, a team of youth are going in June and if I had the time/money- I'd be there. But, with YWAM, I just don't see it happening. I made that decision long ago, but gosh I so want to be with them now.
If you care to, join me in prayer for the whole family as they greive this loss, one that was much more sudden than expected. My dear friend Vicky Ariola has to be going through a myriad of emotions and my prayer for her is that she would not become bitter- that she would cling to God when it hurts really bad and that her and her husband would be able to hold onto each other in those times as well. Another prayer is for Raheem, he was already feeling a little sick the past few days as well, but with this news has grown weaker. Our prayer tonight was for him to know the incredible value of his life that is yet to live.. that he would hold on and not grow weary! I don't believe that God is done with the ministry of his life! And for Destiny as well, who shared all 5years of her life with Cindy lying next to her... it has to be something she doesn't quite understand. The same goes for their two siblings who do not have the disease, Josiah and Sarah who are caught in the middle with much confusion.
Thank you Lord for the lives you have touched through this family, I pray these things in your name!
Amen
I don't want to end on a low note, because like I said earlier Cindy is dancing and running and laughing in heaven right now... so here's a little anecdote to end this ...
I received the email about tonight at about 7:30, this memorial was already in progress, so I ran out of my house in a bandana, flip flops(it was so nice out today!) and a coat.. okay and a shirt and what not... but I felt pretty stupid showing up late looking like a slob. I was about to paint a canvas, so I had gotten my painting clothes on... there was NO time to change. Owell... at the end Cheryl Skelly took a video of the group because she is going down there on friday. The Ariola's are going to think I ALWAYS wear a bandana... it's like it was meant to be... I was also wearing a shirt that we decorated in Belize with all the village kids that says "belize." Could it have been more appropriate? Only if I had my staple of blue sport shorts on as well.
The time tonight was nice... a good way to remember Cindy and know that she is DANCING and RUNNING around in heaven in her new body! She was only 9years old and full of peace, love and joy. Always wiggling around and "dancing on the table" as music was played, or if we would just sing together. I remember a time where she and Destiny both were asking me to dance all over... one of my favorite old worship songs was playing "The River is Here" I danced and we sang and laughed. What a beautiful expression of worship...
The last night I was with the Ariola family in June and saying my goodbyes, Raheem decided to let me video tape him saying something into the camera. He said, "Bye, see you next, um see you sometime, say hi to everyone." And then Cindy wanted to say something as well, so I video taped her and asked "Okay, what do you want to say?" and Cindy said "I love you so much!"
It's really hard not knowing when I'll be back to Belize to see the family, a team of youth are going in June and if I had the time/money- I'd be there. But, with YWAM, I just don't see it happening. I made that decision long ago, but gosh I so want to be with them now.
If you care to, join me in prayer for the whole family as they greive this loss, one that was much more sudden than expected. My dear friend Vicky Ariola has to be going through a myriad of emotions and my prayer for her is that she would not become bitter- that she would cling to God when it hurts really bad and that her and her husband would be able to hold onto each other in those times as well. Another prayer is for Raheem, he was already feeling a little sick the past few days as well, but with this news has grown weaker. Our prayer tonight was for him to know the incredible value of his life that is yet to live.. that he would hold on and not grow weary! I don't believe that God is done with the ministry of his life! And for Destiny as well, who shared all 5years of her life with Cindy lying next to her... it has to be something she doesn't quite understand. The same goes for their two siblings who do not have the disease, Josiah and Sarah who are caught in the middle with much confusion.
Thank you Lord for the lives you have touched through this family, I pray these things in your name!
Amen
I don't want to end on a low note, because like I said earlier Cindy is dancing and running and laughing in heaven right now... so here's a little anecdote to end this ...
I received the email about tonight at about 7:30, this memorial was already in progress, so I ran out of my house in a bandana, flip flops(it was so nice out today!) and a coat.. okay and a shirt and what not... but I felt pretty stupid showing up late looking like a slob. I was about to paint a canvas, so I had gotten my painting clothes on... there was NO time to change. Owell... at the end Cheryl Skelly took a video of the group because she is going down there on friday. The Ariola's are going to think I ALWAYS wear a bandana... it's like it was meant to be... I was also wearing a shirt that we decorated in Belize with all the village kids that says "belize." Could it have been more appropriate? Only if I had my staple of blue sport shorts on as well.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
G'day Mate!
I'm goin' to Australia!!
Here's my story,
One Sunday last May, Steve Hanson presented an update on Open Door's partnership with World Vision in Kenya&Uganda. In Nairobi, Kenya, we support Dr. David and Ann Kitonga in the Kawangare slum. In the middle of this slum is an island of safety and hope in the school built and run by the Kitongas. In Gulu, Uganda, we partner with World Vision as they serve former abductees of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army). In the time that Steve presented there was a short video shown of these places, and it impacted me. In the video was a wonderful woman named Nancy, she was on the team with Steve, and a couple years ago I went to Belize with her as a co-leader with the youth. I sat there watching and wondering if that could ever be me and what could I do to be in her position. Anyone who knows me, most likely knows that missions is a big passion... people in general are a big passion.
I saw Nancy after the service and told her that I would love to hear the more personal side of her story in Africa. We soon sat and had coffee together, she spoke of her stories and I listened, and she listened to my stories as well. During this talking the subject of a "DTS" came up, a DTS is Discipleship Training School. The one we talked of though was on Mercy Ships, which is an orginization that transformed a few cruise ships into floating hospitals. They travel to many destinations and onboard with the doctors and crew they hold these DTS's. This conversation got me to thinking and I began researching Mercy Ships on the web and praying.
At the end of June I went on my 2nd missions trip to Belize with the sr. highers, and upon my return scheduled a time to meet with Steve and chat about Belize and Mercy Ships. I was having trouble getting any response from Mercy Ships and wondered just how I'd ever get any information. While talking to Steve, he informed me that the DTS was actually started by YWAM on the Mercy Ships, and that they are no longer affiliated. But, that Mercy Ships still had a program like a DTS. I didn't want to send in an application to something that didn't seem to ever get back to me, so Steve reccomended I search on YWAM's website for a DTS.
This is where I got sort of overwhelmed. There are YWAM bases in hundreds (if not thousands) of places/countries. In one of the searches there was a category for "special focus" and under that was listed "creative arts." VOILA
As I searched under this category it brought up 4 different places... the two I keyed into were Pismo Beach, CA and Brisbane, Australia! I guess art is just associated with warm climates! Ha! :) So, I looked further into them and began emailing different questions... Australia started in Oct. 07, Cali was actually undecided. Australia had many different countries in attendance, Cali had primarily US...
There was a point where I couldn't do much, so it wasn't until after Christmas that I started really emailing the bases again and trying to figure out what I wanted, not to mention what God wanted. That has been the hardest part of this journey so far... this seems hard to say, but I have been struggling with the whole idea of God having a specific "plan" for my life that I might mess up, or the idea of Him blessing the paths that I choose. Does that make sense? What I'm trying to get at is, I haven't heard a direct "Lisa, go to Australia for the DTS" or "Lisa, stay here and be a disciple among the least and the lost right in your backyard"... or even "wait, this isn't the time" - what I have come to believe is that He has put this passion in me, and it's true I could serve anywhere. You don't have to have schooling to make a difference, BUT why not take this incredible opportunity now... I have no attachments, I'm young and only growing older. The plan He has for me is to love Him and love others... that's the greatest commandment, right?! Right...
For awhile, many different fears were holding me back from taking any steps toward starting the application process. But, during a winter youth retreat, I believe God was revealing to me that I had to have a "ruthless trust" or "dangerous wonder"- go and do it and don't worry so much about all those fears. (i think those two phrases are book titles, actually.)
So, in February I emailed the Australia DTS and asked if I turned in my app. by the end of the month, if that would be enough time. They said it would, so during February I made the appointments necessary, got my reference forms out and finished the personal history questions on the application. I accomplished my goal and felt a great peace inside as I brought it to the Post Office. (although, i felt slightly attacked when I locked my keys in the car and it was a huge fiasco. I was supposed to leave for Paynesville with my parents and it screwed our schedule up... but i digress)....
Last Tuesday, March 6th, I received an email from the "Registrar" that I had been accepted to the MAD DTS! (MAD= Music Arts Drama) It starts beginning of October and ends the end of April... that's 7mos. folks! I'm excited, filled with joy, love, a certain peace, anxious, sad, scared, but so happy to have the opportunity to learn how to love so much more and serve the God who lives in me!
I end with this....
Here's my story,One Sunday last May, Steve Hanson presented an update on Open Door's partnership with World Vision in Kenya&Uganda. In Nairobi, Kenya, we support Dr. David and Ann Kitonga in the Kawangare slum. In the middle of this slum is an island of safety and hope in the school built and run by the Kitongas. In Gulu, Uganda, we partner with World Vision as they serve former abductees of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army). In the time that Steve presented there was a short video shown of these places, and it impacted me. In the video was a wonderful woman named Nancy, she was on the team with Steve, and a couple years ago I went to Belize with her as a co-leader with the youth. I sat there watching and wondering if that could ever be me and what could I do to be in her position. Anyone who knows me, most likely knows that missions is a big passion... people in general are a big passion.
I saw Nancy after the service and told her that I would love to hear the more personal side of her story in Africa. We soon sat and had coffee together, she spoke of her stories and I listened, and she listened to my stories as well. During this talking the subject of a "DTS" came up, a DTS is Discipleship Training School. The one we talked of though was on Mercy Ships, which is an orginization that transformed a few cruise ships into floating hospitals. They travel to many destinations and onboard with the doctors and crew they hold these DTS's. This conversation got me to thinking and I began researching Mercy Ships on the web and praying.
At the end of June I went on my 2nd missions trip to Belize with the sr. highers, and upon my return scheduled a time to meet with Steve and chat about Belize and Mercy Ships. I was having trouble getting any response from Mercy Ships and wondered just how I'd ever get any information. While talking to Steve, he informed me that the DTS was actually started by YWAM on the Mercy Ships, and that they are no longer affiliated. But, that Mercy Ships still had a program like a DTS. I didn't want to send in an application to something that didn't seem to ever get back to me, so Steve reccomended I search on YWAM's website for a DTS.
This is where I got sort of overwhelmed. There are YWAM bases in hundreds (if not thousands) of places/countries. In one of the searches there was a category for "special focus" and under that was listed "creative arts." VOILA
As I searched under this category it brought up 4 different places... the two I keyed into were Pismo Beach, CA and Brisbane, Australia! I guess art is just associated with warm climates! Ha! :) So, I looked further into them and began emailing different questions... Australia started in Oct. 07, Cali was actually undecided. Australia had many different countries in attendance, Cali had primarily US...
There was a point where I couldn't do much, so it wasn't until after Christmas that I started really emailing the bases again and trying to figure out what I wanted, not to mention what God wanted. That has been the hardest part of this journey so far... this seems hard to say, but I have been struggling with the whole idea of God having a specific "plan" for my life that I might mess up, or the idea of Him blessing the paths that I choose. Does that make sense? What I'm trying to get at is, I haven't heard a direct "Lisa, go to Australia for the DTS" or "Lisa, stay here and be a disciple among the least and the lost right in your backyard"... or even "wait, this isn't the time" - what I have come to believe is that He has put this passion in me, and it's true I could serve anywhere. You don't have to have schooling to make a difference, BUT why not take this incredible opportunity now... I have no attachments, I'm young and only growing older. The plan He has for me is to love Him and love others... that's the greatest commandment, right?! Right...
For awhile, many different fears were holding me back from taking any steps toward starting the application process. But, during a winter youth retreat, I believe God was revealing to me that I had to have a "ruthless trust" or "dangerous wonder"- go and do it and don't worry so much about all those fears. (i think those two phrases are book titles, actually.)
So, in February I emailed the Australia DTS and asked if I turned in my app. by the end of the month, if that would be enough time. They said it would, so during February I made the appointments necessary, got my reference forms out and finished the personal history questions on the application. I accomplished my goal and felt a great peace inside as I brought it to the Post Office. (although, i felt slightly attacked when I locked my keys in the car and it was a huge fiasco. I was supposed to leave for Paynesville with my parents and it screwed our schedule up... but i digress)....
Last Tuesday, March 6th, I received an email from the "Registrar" that I had been accepted to the MAD DTS! (MAD= Music Arts Drama) It starts beginning of October and ends the end of April... that's 7mos. folks! I'm excited, filled with joy, love, a certain peace, anxious, sad, scared, but so happy to have the opportunity to learn how to love so much more and serve the God who lives in me!
I end with this....
It is the cry of my heart to follow YOU
It is the cry of my heart to be close to YOU
It is the cry of my heart to FOLLOW...
all of the days of my life
It is the cry of my heart to be close to YOU
It is the cry of my heart to FOLLOW...
all of the days of my life
Thursday, March 08, 2007
ODLent.blogspot.com
Just a little commercial for the blog that Scott set up for Lent and ideas on how to enter into this season... in the beginning it recaps on the Ash Wednesday service if you happened to miss it.
peace -
Lisa
here's a link that'll take you to it,
ODLENT.blogspot.com
peace -
Lisa
here's a link that'll take you to it,
ODLENT.blogspot.com
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