Tuesday, June 26, 2007

it's NOT about me

74To grant us that we, being rescued from the hand of our enemies,
Might serve Him without fear,
75In holiness and righteousness before Him all our days.
76"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;
For you will go on BEFORE THE LORD TO PREPARE HIS WAYS;
77To give to His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins,
78Because of the tender mercy of our God,
With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,
79 TO SHINE UPON THOSE WHO SIT IN DARKNESS AND THE SHADOW OF DEATH,
To guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:74-79 Zacharias's Prophecy (the last half)
(capitals added by bible.com... color added by me)

These verses spoke to me tonight in an unpexpected way.
I was looking for a verse to go with the blog I'm setting up and this one popped up in my search of "serve" at "bible.com." I know I have read this passage before, but it really sunk in tonight... the first thing that jumped out was at the end of verse 74 where it says "[That they] Might serve Him without fear" -
For the longest time I've always feared that I won't say the right thing when it comes time for me to really lead someone into a genuine relationship with Christ. That fear comes from many different places, one of those places was the time I was "trained" as a camp counselor. I was still very immature in my faith, and the training didn't seem to express that it wasn't about me saying the right things or verses. I came away with this heaviness around how I was going to "make sure" each child in my cabin knew whether or not she was going to heaven.
What I've learned over the last 6years or so, is that I had a role to play, but it wasn't the main character. The role was to let the Holy Spirit speak through me, and He will do the rest. Though the fear still lingers, I believe that God will use this willing heart however He desires, with or without words.

Thank God, it's not about me!

Monday, June 25, 2007

YWAM.... info...

A new blog... etc is coming very soon... just thought I'd let you know... I'm hoping to get it going by the first week in July (it's so soon already!!).

Any suggestions for fun adventurous names of the blog?!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

in the last two weeks

I packed boxes.
Went to two grad parties.
Packed more boxes.
Read up on the Belize blog.
Procrastinated packing all boxes.
Mom came over to stop the procrastination.
Had my Dad and Brother in Law move my furniture and some boxes on Father's Day.
Packed boxes with my sister, josh, and sarah's help.
Ate Buffalo Wild Wings for Father's Day Dinner.
Expedited my passport renewal.
Made trips to my house for more stuff to move.
Brought my mom and dad to Erin's Cookie Nook before bringing them to the airport.
Procrastinated UNpacking boxes.
Went to a grad party.
UNpacked some boxes.
Went to another grad party.
Went to dinner to celebrate a wonderful friend.

And here I am at almost midnight...
The Belize team is back, and I heard some stories... they were beautiful stories and I also just looked at some pictures which are equally as beautiful!

Thank you Lord for doing a mighty work in the relationships that were formed and renewed. For showing your Glory in the lives of the students and Belizeans.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

it hurts

my heart

that I have to stay back, and the others get to go to the place I left some of my heart

when you're put in a place that you know you need to be, but desperately want to be in another at the same time

...
the youth belize team is leaving tomorrow morning. i don't know what else to say about it, except that it just hit me today how much i wish i could go. i've said and thought it many times, i just didn't know how it would land when it came down to the day.

i hurt..
i want to be with them
i want to grieve the loss of cindy again without distraction of a youth pastor having been fired the next day
i want to talk to vicky(her mom), but feel like it has been SO long since I've talked to her that now i can't
i want to love on them the best i know how
....

Lord,
give the students eyes to see and ears to hear what you want them to... how they can love on the Ariolas... yet, not overwhelm them.
may vicky and neal feel the love and support and be able to take it in.
amen