It's time... there are many thoughts running through my head tonight. There have been for many nights, it's just that I haven't made the time to write because somehow it feels like work, even though I know it will be good when I finally get it all out.
Three weeks ago I made a decision to move out of my parents house and moved in with a friend and one of her friends. We live in Hopkins, in a little house, and it actually has a white picket fence around the backyard. It's this great deal for rent and has a basement where I can set up my desk/computer AND easel etc. to paint.
I felt the pull to get out on my own, and at this point I don't know if it was "God's leading" or just me feeling the need to move out of my parents' house. God bless 'em, they were great for letting me take their space, but it was time.
Moving out meant finding a job... somewhere, anywhere.. (close that is) and one place that is ALWAYS hiring is Target. These things happened fast, and before I knew it I got this job and now I'm working about 40hrs/wk... and I'm asking myself... What am I doing? No, this is not the perfect fit for me, but I need to pay the bills I've now chosen to take on with moving.
It's not ideal, and often I feel I may have made the leap a little too soon. I am accepting the place where I'm at right now, but I can't pretend that it's easy or say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that these were the right decisions. I do know that the Lord is still with me in this place I am in... He's in the struggle within me.
What I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that God is leading me into new and unknown waters, and it is extremely scary. I often feel like I'm on a rollercoaster of feelings... thoughts of excitement about what free-lancing and painting might look like, but then to be contrasted with thoughts wondering if I really can make it work and ever survive without another income.
I still have yet to land on a name for my free-lancing company... the one I have been tossing around is LizBec Design... but when I tell others, they don't give me the impression that it's a great name. It's not ALL about what others think, but it does make a difference and I'm still not even sold on it.
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