April 30th, already?!

two things...

• I can't believe how fast this month went by!! A month ago this very night/(early morning) I was waiting for a call from my sister to tell me I needed to high-tail my butt up to St. Cloud to see my niece being born. I never got the call, but as planned I drove up at 7:30am. It got me to thinking... (how time flies)... is it because the weather is nicer and that I am more pleased with life overall because of that fact, or is it because I really do get a lot busier? It's probably a combination, in which if so, does that mean if I lived in Florida and had the same life that it would be busier?
  

• I was in Paynesville today playing with the nieces and nephew (i've wanted to say that for a long time :)) and sis and bro in law. It was a delightful time! We played on the computer, ate lunch, played "baseball" after watching the poor twins loose, and painted canvases. Julia of course didn't do much active playing, just the occasional cry and dirty diaper and feeding. My mom got some good pictures with me and the gang... when I get them from her, I plan to promptly post them! :)

Karma with K & C

If I believed in Karma.... this would be a great example.
The story I am about to tell doesn't have a whole lot to do with me, just something I witnessed with two individuals who I grew up with in youth group. They were the "trouble makers" back in the day and now one has a position with the youth in the church and the other is stepping in as a leader for awhile again. I'll just be calling them K&C, it probably doesn't matter, but owell.

This is how it goes... After youth group on wed. night I saw C and spoke with him about some pictures I found for Seniors Night. As we were talking K interupted and went on to tell C about an incident that happened in his small group room.
Apparently, before K reached his small group room the guys thought it would be fun to light a ping pong ball on fire to see what would happen(i came up with the reason, it's the only one i've figured). I'm a little uninformed about how the fire was put out exactly, or by whom, but in the process there was a large burn mark that was made in the carpet.
Absolutely hilarious. It's nice that K was good enough to give C a heads up before he heard about it from someone else.

Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall inside the family life cubicles on a thursday morning/afternoon!

Here's to all the youth workers of the world! :)

Velvet Elvis

For the last couple months I have been reading the book, "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. I just finished and have so many things running through my head... good things... hard things... questions.. here is what I have to share about it tonight...

You all know that I have been accepted into a DTS (discipleship training school) program with YWAM (youth with a mission) in Australia. I've had a passion to serve for many years.. the least and lost have always been at the center of my soul. Youth have also been a big passion as well, and the place I have served for almost 10 years. But, another passion that has been simmering in me for the last couple years is serving in the community. I say "simmering" because since the first spark, I haven't done a whole lot about it.

A few years ago I lived in an apartment in Brooklyn Park in a semi-sketchy neighborhood.. Zane and 65th. It was a complex of many buildings, ours was shaped like a "U" and in the middle was a large parking lot. We had a ground level apartment with a patio that went out to the parking . The area was always a swarm with children of all ages... sometimes getting into trouble, other times just playing in the small yards near the patios.
My roomates and I often kept the patio door open in the warm months and the kids seemed to swarm to our patio slab. I decided at some point to buy bubbles and another time a bucket of chalk. It wasn't something I had an agenda for, just a place for the kids to play and have fun.

Why am I sharing this? Well, it's the place where that simmering began, and I've often missed those days... also because "Velvet Elvis" answered a question I always had at those times... and that was... "should I be doing more?" meaning, the doctrine from my counselor days in the summer after my senior year came flooding back. I never felt "good enough" because I rarely sat down with each of my girls to get them to "convert" or "re-dedicate"... I hated that part. I always had this guilty feeling turning in my papers at the end of the week.
Here is a great quote that I always felt in my spirit, that speaks to this situation....

"Oftentimes the Christian community has sent the message that we love people and build relationships in order to convert them to the Christian faith. So there is an agenda. And when there is an agenda, it isn't really love, is it? We have to rediscover love, period. Love that loves because it is what Jesus teaches us to do. We have to surrender our agendas. Because some people aren't going to become Christians like us no matter how hard we push. They just aren't. And at some point we have to commit them to God, trusting that God loves them more than we ever could."
-Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

I'm not saying here that we shouldn't share our faith, but I want to learn how to do it so that it doesn't have an agenda. That it's me sharing this love that I cannot explain... without asking the person at the end if they want to become a christian, and can you repeat this prayer after me. If the person desires that, I'm trusting that God will speak to their heart. I don't have to be the one to help them say a prayer... I don't have to be there at all.

JULIA ANN

Sleeping Beauty

One Day old

More to come

Mountain Highs and Valley Lows

March certainly came in like a lion, and has gone out like a lamb.
Both literally and figuratively.

With the big snow in the beginning of March, came big news of my acceptance into the DTS program with YWAM in Brisbane Australia. Such excitement and mixed emotions, as I wrote about previously here.
About a week later came the news of my dear little girl-friend Cindy Ariola. She passed away one night after battling flu like symptoms on and off for a couple weeks. This was hard news to hear, but we all came together and prayed for her brothers, sisters, mother and father. It was a night of celebration that Cindy would now be walking, running, and singing in heaven.

The following Wed. night was another sorrow filled night... the leaders all sat in our usual meeting and dinner before the evening and received the news that our Senior High youth pastor was asked to resign.. or at that point had just read a letter stating he was leaving. We all sat in disbelief, not having any questions answered, just that he was gone and that we had to keep our faces straight until the night started and the youth were told. It was the hardest night I've ever faced as a youth leader. They gave us nothing, and at the beginning I blindly trusted that the leadership of the church new what they were doing and as the questions came in small group, I held to that belief. Later that night and the next day, the truth in my heart was revealed, and my blogs followed in my confusion and frustration.

The weekend that followed was filled with plans and trying to get ready to go to Colorado for a Ransomed Heart Ministries, "Captivating" women's retreat. It was the PERFECT time to get away and find rest in the arms of my abba father. Although it was hard being away for the next wed. night, not being there for the kids, my own heart needed healing. Before the retreat I met with an old friend in Denver and had some beautiful time re-connecting with her and rest at her house.
There is so much to say about the retreat I don't really know where to start. I met some beautiful hearts... many that were my age and some that were older and wiser. I had time to wrestle with God and be really frustrated and mad, but also time as I mentioned earlier to just sit in the arms of my father. Let him embrace me as I cried out and yelled and carried on... I wanted so much for him to tell me the exact things I needed to do when I arrived home. To start a petition, walk out, change churches, boycott.... but none of those were things He said to me. The words I came away with were Ruthless Trust (which I actually hear is a good book), trusting in him even when I don't understand how I can.... knowing that He is the only one I need to trust... I don't have to trust the leadership of the church, because no matter how hard they try, they will never do things perfectly. It sucks and I hate that.... but we're human and messy... and God's not.
It was a wonderful time to take in God's beauty of the Mountians and make some really great new friends.

I got home last monday with the news that my sister had almost gone into labor the friday I was in Denver. I was most pleased when I heard it didn't happen because I was supposed to be in the room with her this time around. The week at work brought much to do, but it was nicely manageable(sp?).
On thursday my sister was having numbness in her legs and her doctor wasn't being very proactive... long story short, they switched to a doctor in St. Cloud and he was very proactive and scheduled to induce on Thursday. To prepare for this they use gel to "soften" the cervix, to see if that would help her to go into labor on her own. She started on her own, but it suddenly stopped, so late on Thursday night/Friday wee early morning they started the ptosin (i'm sure that's spelled wrong!!). I drove up to St. Cloud on fri. morning and got there around 8:30am.. and she decided she wanted an epideral... it was a long hard night and she needed some relief.
I'll add more details in another post, but she had my beautiful niece Julia Ann at 12:09 pm... what an amazing miracle of life! It was the coolest thing to experience, I wouldn't trade it for the world.


a beautiful symbol of March going out like a lamb, my sweet little Julia Ann..........

pictures to come