Reflections of Christmas and the New Year

On this eve of Christmas eve, well actually it's 1am, so it IS xmas eve... I sit amongst the gifts I've wrapped and reflect on the time that has passed this year.

MUCH has gone on in my life and in my friends and families lives, as usual, but this last year it just seems like so much more. For me, there were many transitions and changes from travels to several countries, to adjusting back home, figuring out what to do when your plans don't work out, moving out of the 'rents house and finding a job to pay the bills.

My "christmas card" broadly made points on each of these things, but as I listened to this week's sermon online some things became a little clearer. The message title was The Unexpected Cost of Mary's "Yes" and it really got me thinking about the place I am in right now.

Since before I left Australia, the Lord gave me an invitation, to follow in the footsteps of the unknown and trust that He will provide. I accepted an invitation to live life in a different way, to not go back to where I was before I left. I am in new waters... and they are hard to wade through at times. I am constantly reminded that as a culture, what we "do" for a living is highly valued. And for me, when I talk about my "job" and what I do for a "living"... I have these mixed feelings inside. I get a knee jerk when I tell people I work at Ritz Camera/Proex Portraits because my education was for Graphic Design and I just got back from a Discipleship Training School... why am I not a missionary or a designer for some company? I fear that people will judge me because I'm not using my education and I said "no" to going back to my old job where I was making a decent amount more than I do now. Who does that?
Me.
If you've followed my blog at all in the last 6mos. you know that my original plans upon returning were to get a job at a coffee shop... get the feel for what it's like. One of my ideas in the future is to own/work for/co-colaborate a coffee shop that incorporates art, music, and loose ministry, and GOOD coffee and tea... a place for people to connect and build relationship.
No jobs were opening up in the coffee shop biz... times are tight... plan b. I didn't have a plan b, and so I desperately found a job at Target... hated it. THen, landed a job at Proex.

Okay, so, what does all this mean and how is this a reflection of Christmas... I think it's a theme for a lot of us, that when we say "yes" to God we don't know what the weight of that yes fully means until we're in the midst of it. Mary didn't know either... but HE did. And He throws a lot of stuff on us that we ourselves can't handle... without Him.

So, this new year, I'm leaning on Him again and often times I will fail to spend as much time with Him as I want to... but I'm going to try harder... not because I should, because I desire and want to...
I'm going to step out in faith and focus on the things I want to do... my greeting card line, and also be in conversation to others about the coffee shop idea. I know God has placed these things on my heart and I want to see what He will do with them.

(p.s. it's actually dec. 26th.. haha)