The news I received from Paul on Thursday is now out in the public and official, he is leaving his position as the sr. high youth pastor.
WOW... I was stunned, though at the same time I know things will be alright and in time we'll find someone to take his place. The news hit me strangely though, I think the biggest thing is that I was really looking forward to some normalcy in the youth group this year. Getting into a new groove with Scott and looking forward to what Paul had planned for this year. I felt I was finally really connecting with him, I was feeling known by him. That is a big deal to me, and my fear now is that nobody will see the history that I have had with the youth ministry at Open Door. It's not that I need some kind of recognition for my long-standing, it's about wanting people to know some of the history, the "memory stones" if you will of the journey we've been on. And, I felt that Paul was the last person in paid leadership who had any inkling to those things.
Of course, it's not as if these things can't be revealed to our current guy(scott, dept. head and jr. high youth pastor), and maybe they have already and I'm just not aware. I don't know how those types of jobs work, but if I was a youth pastor, I think I'd want to know some of the history of the youth ministry, not only about the church as a whole.
Some of my feelings come from not wanting to be forgotten or taken for granted. I feel like I have something to offer, but now the people who knew what those things were, are gone. I think that's where God is pressing into me, asking me to step out on the water. This time, I'm going to have to be vocal about what I'm interested in, not have someone know what I can do and ask me to do it. I've stayed in my comfort zone with the youth for a long time, and sometimes knowingly ignored the callings to share my story, or get up in front of them on a wed. night in some capacity(besides small group settings). So, though this place I'm in is a bit scary, I'm choosing to move forward and listen to His voice in this time of transition.
2 comments:
funny... i was just editing and adding to what i wrote...
i know.. there is a high turn-around rate for youth pastors in general. Al was the exception. He ruled...
sometimes i don't know what to think of OD lately... But this change with Paul really had nothing to do with Open Door, it was that he was given a job at another church, he wasn't looking and didn't have any ill feelings. He's actually going to a smaller church, which will be good for him, he had lots of changes and responsibilities this year that were really huge.
dude. that's so crazy. do you know where he's going? It's weird for me to know that connections to OD are continually being severed (Al Shuck, Shane Hankinson, Tom Johnson, Matt Patrick, Paul Baudhin).
It's hard that's all, and I was only there like 3 years.
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