Wish me luck!

I thought I was done with finals when I finished school...

One of the things I'm working on right now is a presskit for a musician (a promotional tool to send to radio stations, etc.). This particular musician and I are having a creative conundrum(sp?).. I don't know one word to describe it, but basically I keep thinking I understand what she wants, and then somehow I totally miss the mark. This usually doesn't happen very often, and I believe I'm starting to get it now, but the test or "final" so-to-speak is friday at 3pm.
Guy talked to her and decided it would be good if she came in and sat down with me to work on it together. I'm sure it is a good idea too, but it's a designers worst nightmare... having someone sit and watch you create.. i'm getting the jitters just thinking about it... it's like having someone look over your shoulder while reading a good book, or writing a letter. An eagle on a perch, watching its prey. They get to see each and every move you make.. no matter how fast or slow. Talk about pressure...
I decided it would be good to ask Georgia about the subject since she had our "favorite" client for so long perched at her side for hours and days. The advice she gave me was this... You have to ignore the need to please them every second and not worry about how long it takes to get a concept out. That's the paraphrased version. I think it's true and good advice, but it might be easier said than done. I think she has this skill mastered... me on the other hand, these things come up few and far between.
The other small piece to this story is that I feel like I might have offended this person at one point in the process. I was trying to let them know that I just didn't think the concept they were explaining would work well. I may have said, it just wouldn't look good... with a little too much emphasis on the "just" and "good." I can't really remember, but I remember that I heard some slight frustration in reply to my comment. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes my communication skills are lacking, and this was one of those times. How do you recover from that, especially if you don't know for sure if it really affected them or not. Part of me wants to say, "okay, so let's just start over, pretend you've never talked to me before." Or, I could just say... "I'm sorry for all this miscommunication on your design concept.. I believe we can still make this partnership work"- okay, so I'd never be that formal... but you know something along those lines.

I praying it goes well... that I'll be able to relax and be creative. no pressure lisa, no pressure! :)

twenty six

Twenty Six years ago today, at this moment (5:00) my mom had just gotten to the hospital and was in labor with me.
When I was a kid, my dear great grandmother always told me the story of how she rushed my mom to the hospital as she was in labor. (and made it sound like she saved the day, -insert misty eyes- she was the coolest old lady, how i miss her!).

As my mother wrote in my baby book...

"Gr. Grandma Dorothy took mommy down to the hospital at 4:30pm. It was cold and windy out, started snowing later that night. Met Terry (daddy) :) as I got out of the car. Went to admitting, a nurse from OB came and got me. Went to the birthing room, Terry came up shortly. Labor lasted five hours, Lisa came out sideways."
(may that explains my sideways thinking! :)haha)

I was born at 8:00pm.. and the other memory or story I know is that "Little House on the Prairie" was on tv when I was born, as my mother always told me. :)
___

I took the day off today and it was very nice... I'm off to go shopping now and to hang with some friends... but here is another song that I really love the lyrics to... somewhat appropriate to this day as well...

Better Days
(John Rzeznik- goo goo dolls)

And you asked me what I want this year
And I'll try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
Designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause tonight's the night
The world begins again

I need someplace simple where we could live
And something only you could give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're
Alive

And the one poor child who saved this world
There's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll
Find better days

twenty four

I've always loved the switchfoot song "twenty four"
here is an artistic expression with an excerpt of the song..

Passion

Tonight's Kare11 Extra touched me... in many ways..

In short, it was about an artist who paints portraits of fallen soldiers, and gives them to the families. She doesn't charge the them, she does it because she is passionate about it.. that's what I heard from her story atleast. This is the blurb that Kare11 wrote up about it:

"The artist, Kaziah Hancock, is not political, she doesn't want anything in return, just the satisfaction of knowing that in some small way, she's helping heal the pain some American families are left to bear after losing a loved one in war."

It hit at my very soul.. not because it's such an amazing thing to do (though it DEFINITELY IS) for free, or because she is so talented and I love art (course, it didn't hurt), it's because of the very passion that exuded from her. If I am able to live long and old, I hope in my older days I get to do what I love with that kind of passion. If you didn't catch the story, click on the link for a preview of what they showed. (It doesn't do it any justice, I though that it was going to be the whole segment, I don't think it will be and there may be a short commercial first)

The Art of Compassion

i voted!

You can all rest assured that I put my annoyances behind me and voted today! I don't think I really would have not voted, but I wish we could vote on a new way of getting the information to people. Whatever happened to the truth? Why can't politics be explained better without having to do so much research to make sure you know what your voting will get you.

Maybe it is laziness on my part. I should make sure I'm more informed, instead of just voting along party lines, but atleast I did my civic duty. No matter how the election turns out, I'm glad I know that ultimately God is the final vote when I leave this place in the dust!

Thus ends my political banter and blogging. I hope you've enjoyed my non-researched views on DECISION 2006! (tee hee)

This was a great show!

Is it Nov. 8th yet???

I am so sick of this political season... I honestly cannot wait until it is over. I am not into politics AT ALL. I'm especially sick of the "unknown" calls I keep getting on my phone from the Republican party who doesn't even let you get a word in edge-wise. I've gotten two calls so far, you'd think I'd learn to not pick those calls up, but calls from the church also show up as "unknown." It's enough to make me just not want to vote... the only thing I'm interested in voting for is the "VOTE YES" License Amendment or whatever you call it. Unless there are some hidden bad things they're not saying about this... I'm all for our tab tax money going to make the roads better or wherever it's coming from. See, I can't even keep all the specifics down.
I'm not even sure where I'm supposed to vote and haven't receieved anything in the mail, maybe I would've if I changed my address on my license already. But, Angela hasn't received anything either, so I don't think that is the ticket. Who knows... all I know is that, as I said before, I'm ready for it to be next wednesday.. then I can watch my favorite shows like Grey's Anatomy in peace, without politcal basher ads.

Well... that's it for now... I think I might actually go to bed early tonight. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

here's a funny picture from a few weeks ago when i went apple picking with the senior girls. there were a couple of llama's and goats in a little pen. How cute! I was thinking of that story book, "are you my mother?" when i wrote the caption. :)
Llama for Govenor!

Birds and Spiders

Two "random" stories for you from today...

Numeral Uno-
As I look out the window by my desk there is an old house directly to my right. It's actually the backyard of a house that used to have two older ladies inhabit it, who were keen on feeding stray cats, various birds, and really any other creature that needed a home. This house was often a bit of entertainment in our computer sucked day.
Recently we've noticed that the ladies are in the process of moving out, but it has been in stages. There are no longer any dog/cat houses or bird baths in the backyard, nor has there been any laundry hung out to dry (as there had been in the past).
However, the birds were definitely present today, and apparently very consumed with the berries on the Juniper tree that stands about 5-10feet from my window. I think they had some halucinigens(sp?) in them, because in the time between about 11:30 until 4:00 7 birds proceeded to fly into our windows. It was quite the entertainment, and EVERY time, caught me by surprise! I was pretty close to losing it after awhile... not to mention my day was pretty hectic to begin with, must have been something in the air. As we say around the office... it was a Thursday.. (if anything ever goes wrong, it's THURSday!). I took a picture for some proof of these wako birds... the last one hit so hard, it left a feather on the window.. excuse the blurriness, I couldn't get the macro focus to work.


Numeral Dos-
Tonight, after watching my Thursday night line up.. I decided to catch up on some emails, etc. As I was minding my own business typing away I looked to my left and in the corner of the wall by my desk were two ugly spiders. They looked like two different types... one was like a mini-daddy long legs and the other just an ugly spider with a large body and not as long of legs as the other. I've developed this fear of spyders... not so much that I'll start freaking out and crying, but freaking out and yelling curses at them. I frantically found the RAID and sprayed them while squirmishly hoping they wouldn't fall off the wall and go crawling into a hole. I was lucky, they stuck to the wall and I promptly grabbed a napkin to squish their ugly little bodies. (iihhllll blech) I was again typing away when Ang yells, "EEWW, there's a BIG spider over here, help".. I came over with the RAID and squirmed and again yelled curses at it... I HATE HATE HATE them! How have I done missions all these years you may ask? I just suck it up and occassionly have to do the same thing... and sometimes loose sleep over wondering if a spyder is going to crawl up my leg and who knows where else... blaaaclkloaklkiosh*&#)_!
Getting back to Angela's incident... so I came with the RAID and couldn't bring myself to spray it because it was big and I didn't want it to jump off the wall after spraying it and touch me. I kept trying and then Ang grabbed the bottle from me and sprayed it... the spider then fell to the floor and Ang sprayed it a few more times and once it was dead in a heap she sprayed it once more for good measure. Ang tried to tease me, but I reminded her who yelled for help 3mins prior to that moment. I went to call our management to tell them AGAIN that we found spiders. Plunkett's came out and sprayed about a month and a half ago.. you'd think that should last, but I guess with the weather and all, they're looking for warm places... I DESPISE SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God help me if I find another spider tonight, I might just break down and start crying... MIGHT... only might.
So, here's a pic of that bigger spider all balled up and grimacing... okay maybe not grimacing... i put a pen cap there so you can tell the size better :).

The Search is OVER! (WARNING: this post may be long!)

I am now the proud owner of a Black '98 Chevy Malibu. Yesterday at this time, if you would've told me that, I would've laughed in your face. You see, for the last week and a half I have been diligently looking for a Honda/Acura/something foriegn car. Why? Well, most people know that Honda's have an impecable reputation in quality and endurance. Or, shall I say, they last forever! So, I knew going into my search I wouldn't find any that were much newer than a 96/97... actually I was surprised to find those years in my price range.
I let a decent Accord slip through my fingers on Tuesday night... 95 with all the features I was looking for plus a couple extras.. my standards were power locks/windows/cruise... not a very hard order to fill. That Accord had leather interior and moon roof... and it was in solid working order, but my dad wasn't back quite soon enough and I didn't feel comfortable buying without him. SHOOT...

Having my dad back yesterday was comforting, but I was still kicking myself about that other car... I was anxious all day yesterday, but trying my hardest to trust that God had something else in mind. It was the first night of youth group last night and before I went, my dad and I looked at a silver 97 Accord, but we found out WHY it was in my price range. Something was making noise whenever we turned the wheels right or left.. we got back to the guy's house and he said, "yeah, it's about a $250 fix"... well, that would've been nice to know BEFORE we test drove it, be honest atleast before someone takes it out. Atleast we could know that and not feel like you're covering it up. anyways... I was not in a good mood when I got to church and on top of that I was really hungry and there was only over-cooked frozen pizza left over. I vented to a few people and then decided I needed to try and stop thinking about it and think about the night. Worship was at the end of the night, and it really helped me to focus on what really matters and truly trust that God has my best in mind.
It was hard falling asleep last night, I almost came and posted, but eventually fell asleep. I couldn't get my mind off the fact that my car was going to be taken away and I had nothing to fill its spot. (hey E- no apostrophe after it, right?! :)) I prayed myself to sleep because I got myself all worked up again and anxious again, it's all I could do to get it off my mind.
The drive to work was surreal, realizing it was the last time driving that car to work, or anywhere for that matter! You can read my previous post for more details on how it felt to give up my car.
Okay, so I'll jump ahead to tonight. My dad had called on a couple more Honda's and a couple VW's (one Golf, one Passat). One of the Honda's was in New Hope, so we swung by there and gave it a wirl, decent good driving car with not bad miles.. just really scaled back no power anything, not even a cd player and no cruise. Good car if all came to worse... so, then it was off to Jim Lupient's Bargain Lot. My parents have bought 3 cars there in the past 15-20 years and they've always been good, so we checked their stock. As we walked through, I noticed a 97 Acura Integra with leather interior and just a bit above my price range, but possibly negotiable. I started getting excited, but when we took her out for a spin noticed again, why it was priced lower. No AC working and a couple other little things that would all add up to atleast 500=1,000, so we passed on that. Next was the car I am driving now, which is funny because I wasn't too interested in it when he first suggested it, but when we looked closer it had everything I was wanting PLUS more. The drive was really nice and I was pleasantly surprised. We got back to Lupient's and asked about the CD plate because it wasn't in the car, so we tested it out and it sounded really good. There was one other Honda that my dad thought we should maybe look at, more for me because he didn't want me to always "wonder" or have a "what if." The only downfall was that it was located in Woodbury/Maplewood(can't remember which)... he was willing if I really wanted to go, so we were on our way and as I kept thinking, the Honda was a 94 with 150k miles and only 2door... it just didn't make sense for us to go all the way out there. I had this peace about just saying, you know I think I should just take that Malibu... so we exited the 394 exits into Downtown Mpls, turned around and headed back. Just for the sake of it, we went to look at the Passat at Westside VW, and I knew that was definitely not for me.. older and really boxy.. no like.

So, there's another whole story as to what happened after we left the VW dealership and buying my car at Lupient, but I'll spare you that tonight. If you're interested in a funny story, ask me another time :). Here's the cool thing about this search. I kept praying about not getting my hopes up, or having high standards about this car that I'm not sure how long I'll keep. Knowing it was going to get me buy for only a year or two, I didn't want to be picky. The thing is, he knew what I really wanted and knew that I would be okay without having those things, but I got all of my requireds and more. Here's the details... cruise- check, power locks- check, power windows- check, cd player- check (nice one, plus a cassette deck?! funny), moon roof- sweet, power mirrors both sides- double sweet, key-less entry- nice, LEATHER- rockin'...
The only possible downer is that it might need new roaters or pads, but my bro-in-law can do those for less than $50!
As I drove my new car home I had this thought as I was praying over my car for it to last me... it was this... My God takes care of me, and why NOT ask for what you really want because he really does care about the little things. This whole journey of finding a car really parrallels with finding the man I want to marry. Don't take this wrong... the whole "trying out" and those details are not what I'm saying... what I'm saying is this: I was worried and anxious about finding the car.. thinking I turned in my old one too soon... nope. He had one waiting for me... it wasn't exactly the "model" I was looking for but it had all I wanted and more. That sounds a little strange to me, but it just resonated.
One more little thing.. I've never named my cars before.. never... and this may be odd especially to post it on the world wide web, but owell... for some strange reason I had the word "prince" pop into my head, so I think I'm going to "dub" my car a male and call him my prince! :) It's cheesy, but then again, I laugh at cheesy jokes... and I can be cheesy.. so there. The End.

over a car!!

Farewell my sweet, Sunfire!
You will be missed...

If you've ever seen the movie "As Good As It Gets" you may remember the part where Jack Nicholson is in his condo playing the piano... saddened because his neighbor just took back his dog that Jack was watching. I'm feeling just a bit like him right now, as the Insurance Salvage people took my car away... sniff, sniff...

Over a CAR... A stupid Car
(just picture Jack Nicholson saying it) :)

I never thought I'd be attached to a car, but as i was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep, i realized that it's because I bought that car and paid it off... it's the one I've had the longest. I actually owned something of significant value. I know I'll own my next car too... but all that dedication to the payments, etc... (sigh) It'll be okay... once I finally get a new (to me) one!

Hail Damages

Both physically and emotionally!

On August 24th, around 1:00pm, the sky opened up and poured forth rain and hail. This is my story.
I was working at my computer and looked out my window to watch the rain for a moment and noticed some hail. I've seen hail before, but I had yet to take a lunch, so I went out to the front doors and watched the hail fall from the sky. While watching it was aparent that this was not your normal 30 second hail burst. It kept getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger... and last, and last, and last. Is it possible to call this phenomenal, without giving the sense that it was good, because it was the opposite of anything positive. Except that I was in awe of the scene and I couldn't move, adrenaline was rushing through me. gluing my eyes to the scene. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and eventually HEARING on the rooftops. Everyone else in the building also eventually came out to the front and we stood together just stunned... watching our cars getting dented.
About 10 or 15mins went by and as we watched the hail grow from ping pong size to tennis ball size, we grew worried about our well being. From time to time we'd hear it hit our office windows, but just when we were worried if our office windows would blow in, we saw the back windows of cars being busted. I was so shocked and nervous, my response was to laugh... it was not a laughing matter, but it was seriously like watching a movie. I couldn't believe it.
It finally finished and we all went out to assess the damage. Three broken windows (only out of 8 cars) and atleast 6/7 cracked windshields (mine included), and too many dents to even count. Large dents, large enough that PDR (paintless dent repair) may not even fix.
My car only suffered a cracked window, but MANY large dents everywhere. I figured it was going to be a hassel to get fixed, but wasn't too worried because my deductible wasn't too high. Well, I brought it to the adjusters last Tuesday and they had another story for me... it's considered a "total loss" because the value of my car is less than it would cost to fix. WHAT? I sat in my car waiting for the adjuster to come back with a copy of the papers and couldn't believe it. I had just finished payments on my car.. it's mine and I'm not ready to get rid of it, even if it never had any special features... power locks/windows, etc. I don't want a car payment! Tears burned my cheeks, LORD, this was NOT my plan, now what? ...pause... no answer... well... maybe i could find a car that has more features.. maybe... but i still like my car with my Belize and Haiti oval stickers on the back...
and the song... "letting go" runs through my head... okay okay... (not to over-spiritualize, tho... those were just rambling thoughts of mine)

anyways..
They said I could keep it, but we figured out it really wouldn't benefit me. Car shopping SUCKS! Especially when you don't haev a lot of options or time. The timing was awful too, because my dad went out of town on business the day after I found out. How convenient... just another reason it'd be nice to have a man around... OWELL.. another learning experience that must be done as a single woman... I guess it makes me more assertive and tough... or just more annoyed that life is just life sometimes and you have no control.


SO... that's the latest... my time lately has been spent on autotrader.com and carsoup.com... i just got the tip to go on Kraig's List, Perfect! another site to waste time on... :)

at some point i may get some pics of my dented car up here...

Blogger beta?!

Just curious if any of you have switched to the new "blogger beta" version... I haven't had time to read much about it, but all I know is that it's annoying because now my "default" username and password picks up my Google mail account info. I didn't have my Blogger account info memorized, it usually came up automatically so I had to search for that info, what a pain. So, now I know what I have to do, but what do you guys think... have you switched to the "beta" version...

just curious... when i have time i guess i'll check up on it myself... always good to have others thoughts though...

well, i haven't updated in awhile... i should do that soon... until then,
asta la vista

photoshop fun

i've decided i need to do my own fun once in awhile with photoshop... instead of always doing what other people want... here's my first fun... i hope Ms. Dyson doesn't mind me using apart of her poem... i just googled "flying poem" and it got me to her. This is the same picture that is below in my "chi-town" post.

Woah, this is truly wild... the original color scheme is a bunch of blue tones and the color behind the text is black. However, when I uploaded it to blogger, the colors changed to what you are seeing. I actually love the colors, except I'm not sold on the green/grey color behind the text. I can't get over the fact that it changed on me... maybe because I didn't convert it to RGB before making it a jpeg, but still I've never seen this happen... okay... i'm done. enjoy

chi-town

another fun excersion to chicago was had this past sun-tues. it was actually rather un-expected. i hadn't planned on going this year. mostly because i didn't really have vacation days and didn't want to borrow them from next year, like i did last year. (that was a mouthful) But, Scott bargained with me, and it was a good offer so I took it and was in! it's always a great trip, aside from sleeping on the floor with an air mattress that looses air during the night. AND this year we had the pleasure of a few girls feeling the need to gab and giggle until 2am... i was the lucky one who couldn't fall asleep! oh, the joys of leading the youth.... tee hee...
seriously though... i LOVE Six Flags... I think I described the two best rides EVER last year in my account of this trip, so if you'd like another explanation here's a link to that post.

A couple fun stories are as follows...

Every year we make an annual stop at Gino's East pizza... it's the pizza with the sauce on the top and cheese on the inside. They have a fun environment for a group of highschoolers... they encourage writing on walls, chairs, table cloths and whatever else you find to write on.
Just after we got our pizza, Dan (another leader) asked for some of that pizza pepper stuff, so I grabbed one off the next table and gave it to him. I was looking for the Parmesean cheese when I heard laughing, I turned around and the WHOLE jar of pepper junk was ALL OVER his plate. It looked like someone had douced it with red/orange/yellow confetti! I laughed so hard as he tried to play it cool and say he'd still eat it... He ended up not eating it, realizing he could probably get really sick with all of that in his stomach. Instead, he dared another kid, Sean, to put a bunch in his mouth for 30seconds... but then spit it out. That was less funny, but still entertaining... those guys will do anything for attention! :)
I so wish I had a picture of that pizza, it still makes me laugh!

The next story comes from our day at Six Flags. It was about mid-day/afternoon and most of the group I was with wanted to go to the waterpark. Diane and I didn't bring our suits in, and had to wait until the bus came back at around 5 to get them, so we went on Superman. It didn't take too long to get through the line, and I had already been on the rides I was really excited for, so we walked leisurely through the park to kill some time. While walking, Diane mentioned that she wondered why we were really needed on the trip in times like these. I agreed that sometimes leaders on this senior high trip seem pointless during the day. Just a few minutes later we found a girl who had "lost" her group or they lost her, unfortunately I'm still not sure which is more true. Let's just say, she's got a lot of energy... and tagged along with us for pretty much the rest of the day. We did end up hooking up with Scott and a few others to mix things up a bit for the evening. It was just so funny the timing of Diane's comment and our little friend joining up with us.

Before we left the Chicago area on Tuesday, we took a jaunt into the city and camped out at Navy Pier. In years past, the tradition has been to walk the shops of Michigan Ave., but we thought it would be fun to shake things up and go to the pier instead. In my opinion, it was a great change and felt more relaxing. (though i'm sure we would've walked just as much, if we had gone to Mich. Ave.) Here are a couple pix from Navy Pier... one is of the Ferris Wheel that I opted not to spend $5 on, and another pic of water jumping fountains in the arboretum.

Excerpt from my journal, one month ago.

Wed. June 21st

Had a better night sleep, work up just before the alarm. Went to breakfast and had a quick pow-wow with Scott, G and Leah. Decided who was going where, then we had a short devo- Scott told us a "story" to put ourselves in- asked us, what burdens we need to let go of, to give to God.
I had a hard time pin-pointing mine - kind of knowing one, but not knowing how to let it go fully. So, it's something I'm sitting in and asking God to reveal how/what etc.
I took a group of kids, Em, Kristen, Blake and Shireen to ARiola's. Talked to Vicky for a short time and then went back with Blake to find Scott. He was going to send a couple of people with me to make visits to a couple of the older people in the village. We got back and Scott was a bit discouraged about not having jobs for everyone to do right away. But eventually Herdie came and they went into Dangriga to buy paint and start painting the church there. Blake, Josh, Sarah, and I chilled ate lunch and waited for Em, Kristen and Shireen to come, but then Josh, Sarah and I decided to walk down to make sure they were coming back or that Vicky hadn't forgotten to wake up from her nap. :) She did, but Shireen(the school teacher, not team member) got there, so that's when they left.
We hung around the beach until about 4:00 beacuse we thought ght kids didn't get out of school till then, but we were wrong. So at 4pm we took all the clay buckets and went to the "shed" which is like a big long hut with no walls. It was a bit chaotic at first, bu tthen we just started having fun and making animals/ cars and planes for them all. It was really a blast! But, dinner came sooner than later and we had to quit a little pre-maturely.
--

(excerpts copied as written at the time... you can see my shortened and not so eloquent way I journal)

Preach it

Okay, so tonight as I was waiting at a stoplight on Elm Creek Blvd. I saw something that made me roll my eyes and laugh. There was a guy holding up a sign that on one side read "The wages of sin is death" and on the other side said "God's free gift is Eternal Life" or something close to that. You know, that verse in Romans... sorry, I've never been very good at scripture memory.
Anyways, if I wasn't a wuss and HAD automatic windows, I really wanted to yell out to him... "yeah, I know, so what's your point... and what do you think you're accomplishing by holding up your banner on a street corner."
This is no new or irregular news... christians do stupid things all the time in the name of Jesus, and it makes me sad. I guess I'm just noticing more how much it bothers me.
Contrast that with last night...
This awesome group of about 12 young people from South Africa came to praise and share with our youth group about their side of the world. Their worship was beautiful and energizing... reminiscent of Heart of the City... joy and soul coming out of their toes and all for Jesus Christ, not at all to put on a show. They shared with us an amazing story of their lives in Capetown, actually the slums of Capetown, I forget what they called it.. something " Estates" but it's nothing like estates at all. It's horrible poverty in the corner of an incredibly wealthy and beautiful city. I can't describe it all, but I was moved to tears as these young people stood up in front of us and talked of their horrific experiences. What made this so impactful to me, besides the stories and incredible worship, was the fact that this video they shared started out saying "we're not doing this to raise money, make you feel guilty, or any of that, it's to share what our life is and to celebrate love, God's love and power and miracles" -my paraphrase. It was a confirmation to my soul about where my spirit and passion for people lies.

Thank you Jesus, for this amazing ministry you have started in CapeTown South Africa, I pray for the pastor, that you would raise him up and give him strength and wisdom and continued support in whatever way he needs it. I thank you for the words you spoke to me, through them, last night.
Amen

adjusting

It has been a little over two weeks now since I've been home from Belize. The days have gone by so quickly sometimes I think to myself, "did it really happen?" I had a few days to rest before getting back to work and once back to work it was "go go go." Work was so busy, and that was really good because I didn't have time to think about where I still really wanted to be.
On the flip side, I feel like I did a lot of reflecting those first few day and off and on last weekend, but this past week has been less reflective. I think it was because outside of work I was really busy too, having house-sat for the Adlers again. I don't like sleeping at their house because it is big and there are lots of noises so I had to juggle time and figure out how long to be with their pets at night. It was busy to say the least.

Now I sit, trying to decide what I want to say about this trip that made an impact on my life. I still don't quite know where to start. In the first blog I wrote about how there are similarities between Belize and Haiti. I don't know how to explain it, but I love Haiti in many ways and Belize in many ways. Some of them intersect... for instance the most important part of each place is the people who have made an imprint on my heart. I love the whole village of Tricote in Haiti because the whole village is a family and for the most part they are working together, but Hopkins Village, Belize there are select places that I love because the feeling that the whole village loves you is not the case. In Hopkins it is more technoligically advanced and people seem to fight for themselves, unless they are involved with Herdie's church. I don't know if I've explained this well, but to say it simply, Belize is another place that I've let into my heart to share with Haiti.
The Ariola's are the family with the Brittle Bone Disease kids, Raheem Cindy and Destiny.. they also have two other siblings, Sarah and Josiah(or Jo Jo). These children have a joy that comes from Christ alone. They are beautiful, all five of them, and have two wonderful parents who love them from their toes. Their mother is Vicky, she is only about 27, only 2 years older than myself. Last year we connected just a little bit at the end of the trip, and I wondered what it would be like this time around. She has been through so much it's sometimes hard for her to accept help and love from others, but clings and trusts God ruthlessly and I had the priveledge of hearing her story on the last day. We took a long walk on the beach and around the village, it was as if I was with a girlfriend from home just exchanging life stories. I wish we had been able to have more of those times because I feel like I made a new friend and now won't see her for a very long time. I thank God for the times I had with her and pray that their might be more in the future.
There were really fun times with the kids on the team as well... and as for my prayer about bringing us together as a team... that happened right away when we got there. If you read the Belize blog: www.teambelize.blogspot.com , you know that we had a slight problem with the bus that first travel day. We were stranded in the jungle on Hummingbird Highway half way to Hopkins Village. The whole team got off the bus and walked up the hill, huddled up and began to pray. Our hearts and minds were unified bringing our situation to Him and trusting that there was a reason for what was happening. It was an awesome adventure from the beginning and made this trip completely different not even able to compare with last trip, they were each great and unique.
The girls in my cabana were hilarious... I really got to know them better and vice versa. While being with people on a daily basis you get to see the many sides. I think it shocked one of them and it helped our dynamics a lot! She now can see me as a normal adult person who goofs around and has fun. It's hard to pick up on all the sides when you only get an hour and a half on a wednesday night. So, one of the nights we stayed up talking(well, 3 out of 4 of us) until 1am and laughed a lot, but also had conversations about life, love and other mysteries. (sorry, for those of you who know of the Point of Grace song... it just flowed. :)) It was a good bonding time! :) I love the senior girls!
We had a lot of rain-out days... one such day we all hung out in the guys' cabana doing various things... talking, making flyers for movie night, writing encouraging notes for each other(we had a wall with little bags with each of our names on 'em to put little notes in). Another rainy day some of the kids went to the "Innies" restaurant where we had our breakfast and dinners and played with their kids. The rainy days made it hard to do our crafts, which was frustrating to me because I planned all this stuff to do and there was no place to do it well in the rain. :( All I know though, is that crafts are not my thing, especially with kids that are hard to control. Each time we would get ready to do them, I'd think of ways to make it less chaotic and none of them worked. It would start out well, but then be crazy at the end!
Another cool thing about the trip is that the leadership was really great... we all had different strengths and I think we all complimented each other well. Especially Leah and myself, and we also got to know each other better which was super cool. I feel like I have another new friend!

So... I think that's about all for now... I still have boxes sitting in my room that are calling out to be unpacked. The sun and pool are also calling out, maybe they will get my attention first... we shall see. Oh, and another note... I bought a bike last week... so if anyone ever wants to go biking give me a ring!! I even have a bike rack(well, a friend is letting me use it since it won't work on his car) so I can take it places... it holds two! :)

Pics! (click on them to view larger)

Because of all the rain, the entrance to our cabana's got flooded. But, not our actual cabana's, this is the main lobby/little restaurant place.









This is the late night in the jungle, would've turned out better if the pic wasn't blurry! :(









Here's the beautiful beach we got to look at each day! :)









The paintings i did from last year... I took another picture just cuz

back from belize

love is all you need.

i'm slowly learning that belize is trying to share the place that Haiti has in my heart. but i do believe it is different in some ways. i will share more on that later.

it's good to sleep in my own bed... but home really isn't home, having moved while being gone. i knew it would be strange, but i didn't know how drastically it would affect my mood this morning. not having familiarity was really hard and brought me to tears many times, not to mention having some culture shock, too.

my cable line isn't going to be hooked up until thursday, so here i stand(because I need to go quickly) at Dunn Bros checkin' up on my e-life, if you will. :) course, not much was missed because everyone knew i was gone. it's all good... and funny to realize how much junk mail you can get in 11-12 days. Especially in the account that seperates the really really crappy stuff. you still get things like "new music tuesdays" from iTunes or Ticketmaster Concerts. Atleast I do, and never realized how much. There are some "random" facts for you.

and now i'm signing off... more processing and pictures to come...
call me or email, or i will(wasn't meant to sound like a threat)... i miss friends! :) hope to see you all soon

Refine Me...

In one week I'll be in Belize, and I'm ready to be there RIGHT NOW. There are so many little things to remember and I have written things down, but I just want the day to be here so I don't have to think about them anymore. We will have a team blog while in Belize, it is www.teambelize.blogspot.com
Really original, eh? Yeah, I know... I would've made it a little more specific, but whatever I wasn't in charge. Not like it's a big deal... just blabbering... okay... now to the more serious or contemplative matter of the title.

I've been really introspective in the last month or so... off and on just really crying out to God from within about many different things. One thing I've been thinking about lately is about that "hole" that christians, including myself, talk about, that only God can fill. My latest wondering or thoughts about this are these:
1. I am human and sin, I will never be perfect in this fleshy skin.
2. If I am human, and can't be perfect... will I ever really feel like that "hole" that God is supposed to fill is always completely filled?

I mean, there are times when I feel that it is completely filled and I couldn't tell you for how long, but then there are many times when I feel really empty. I think that if I only had someone tangible to fill that spot, then, then I'd feel whole and complete with God. I know that's not true, even if I was married and had kids, it doesn't mean I'd have filled that hole. So... what do YOU think? let me know your thoughts..

on another note that is connected, I listened to Jennifer Knapp on the way up to Paynesville last friday... the good 'ol Kansas album. Refine Me really spoke to the place that I'm at right now... here it is...
(oh, and fyi: I don't feel completely empty right now, I re-read this and it sounds more depressing than the state that I'm really in)

I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain

You're my God and my Father
I've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?

Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire, burn my desires; refine me

Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me