Look to: www.lookingforaruggedaussieman.blogspot.com from now on

Hello my friends... I will no longer be posting here, so like the title says... go to:
www.lookingforaruggedaussieman.blogspot.com for posts leading up to and as I am in Australia.

peace out-

Q. Where does tie dye come from?

A. Africa

This was another one of those "kids say the darndest things"... this time it was Sarah.

I was commenting on her shirt because it was a pretty tie dye pink swirl. So she says, "I know where tie dye comes from!" So I say, "where?" And she replies, "from Africa" I asked, "how did you find that out?" "From a TV show about Africa, they were making tie dye shirts."

So, there you have it.... Where tie dye comes from, by Sarah, age 6.

Soon to come is an entry about one of my childhood hang-out places being knocked down. It even comes with pictures. Until then....

ciao

Kids say the Darndest things

My sister and the fam were here this weekend. On Friday evening, my sister, Pat and I went to the place we're getting our tattoos to plan what we wanted. It was good to get some inspiration and to make sure he can do what each of us wanted.

On Saturday afternoon I had some time to play with Sarah and Josh... here's a little excerpt from one conversation.

While swinging on the bench swing on the swing set with Sarah and Josh I was saying how much I loved them both. I leaned over and pecked each of their heads. I didn't quite get Josh's head, but knew he realized what I was doing. He said something and then stood up on the swing and grabbed at the top of the canopy. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I was catching your kiss, it floated up to the ceiling."
I love that boy... he's really into blowing kisses, and if you don't catch his kisses, he gets upset! :) cutie.

another spider story

This afternoon after one of the many rain/sprinkle/spit episodes, I went to open the picture window in the living room. I unlocked the window started opening, and to my left (not by the screened part) was a LARGE spider! I'm posting a picture I tried to take, it's a little blurry, but it's large. (i should point out, it's on the OUTside)
I'd like to call it ugly and very frightening, but it's not ugly black which intrigues me the slightest bit. It's like one of those "it's so awful you don't want to look, but you have to, or still somehow want to" does that make any sense. Or, as my sister told me of the pictures we took of the birth of Julia... (ie. they were sorta graphic) she didn't necessarily love the angle of the shots, but also just had to look because of the miracle. So, spiders I wouldn't say are the best miracle of the world, but to see the intricacies of the arachnid is pretty amazing. so... interesting yet, still mildly paralyzing to me. (i can't believe i just compared my niece's birth to an arachnid!)

I think that it was a wrong choice to watch that awful movie "Arachnaphobia" when I was in middle school. I really think that's where my fear deepened.. seriously. Who wouldn't be freaked out by deadly spiders... they can migrate to different cultures... it's not like it's out of the complete realm of possibility.

This really looked like a mini-turantula (sp?), makes my knees weak. blech...
Here's the infamous creature:

It's really hard to figure the size, but it's body is about the size of my thumbnail, but maybe a little less wide. eeeeewwwwww...
atleast it's on the OUTside... and it better stay there!

It's up!

I decided to just "Go 4 Launch".... click here for a direct link to my new Aussie blog! Woot Woot!

Connected!

For almost two weeks now, my computer has been dis-connected from the internet. I kept thinking to myself, "This computer was a ton of money, I should be able to use it without being connected to the internet." It's amazing how crippled I felt the computer was without having internet!

The last two weeks have been really busy with work, and it didn't help with 4th of July being at such an odd time. I finally got to yesterday and was relieved to see that the folders on my desk were all pretty much up to date. What a great feeling, so with all that done I left a little early!

I wrote a blog for my new blog site in that span of time, knowing that while in Australia, I may not have a lot of time on the internet and will be needing to journal at times I'm not "connected." I'm still working on the new blog look, but hopefully it will be up next week! Hurrah!

This next week I will be house-sitting for two friends... they live not a mile down from each other. I'm glad I can help both of them out! One family has two dogs, the other two cats... and of course plants to water, etc. It shouldn't be too hard, and they live by some biking trails so I might do some of that this week. Yay!

it's NOT about me

⁷⁴To grant us that we, being rescued from the hand of our enemies,
Might serve Him without fear,
⁷⁵In holiness and righteousness before Him all our days.
⁷⁶"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;
For you will go on BEFORE THE LORD TO PREPARE HIS WAYS;
⁷⁷To give to His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins,
⁷⁸Because of the tender mercy of our God,
With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,
⁷⁹ TO SHINE UPON THOSE WHO SIT IN DARKNESS AND THE SHADOW OF DEATH,
To guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:74-79 Zacharias's Prophecy (the last half)
(capitals added by bible.com... color added by me)

These verses spoke to me tonight in an unpexpected way.
I was looking for a verse to go with the blog I'm setting up and this one popped up in my search of "serve" at "bible.com." I know I have read this passage before, but it really sunk in tonight... the first thing that jumped out was at the end of verse 74 where it says "[That they] Might serve Him without fear" -
For the longest time I've always feared that I won't say the right thing when it comes time for me to really lead someone into a genuine relationship with Christ. That fear comes from many different places, one of those places was the time I was "trained" as a camp counselor. I was still very immature in my faith, and the training didn't seem to express that it wasn't about me saying the right things or verses. I came away with this heaviness around how I was going to "make sure" each child in my cabin knew whether or not she was going to heaven.
What I've learned over the last 6years or so, is that I had a role to play, but it wasn't the main character. The role was to let the Holy Spirit speak through me, and He will do the rest. Though the fear still lingers, I believe that God will use this willing heart however He desires, with or without words.

Thank God, it's not about me!

YWAM.... info...

A new blog... etc is coming very soon... just thought I'd let you know... I'm hoping to get it going by the first week in July (it's so soon already!!).

Any suggestions for fun adventurous names of the blog?!

in the last two weeks

I packed boxes.
Went to two grad parties.
Packed more boxes.
Read up on the Belize blog.
Procrastinated packing all boxes.
Mom came over to stop the procrastination.
Had my Dad and Brother in Law move my furniture and some boxes on Father's Day.
Packed boxes with my sister, josh, and sarah's help.
Ate Buffalo Wild Wings for Father's Day Dinner.
Expedited my passport renewal.
Made trips to my house for more stuff to move.
Brought my mom and dad to Erin's Cookie Nook before bringing them to the airport.
Procrastinated UNpacking boxes.
Went to a grad party.
UNpacked some boxes.
Went to another grad party.
Went to dinner to celebrate a wonderful friend.

And here I am at almost midnight...
The Belize team is back, and I heard some stories... they were beautiful stories and I also just looked at some pictures which are equally as beautiful!

Thank you Lord for doing a mighty work in the relationships that were formed and renewed. For showing your Glory in the lives of the students and Belizeans.

it hurts

my heart

that I have to stay back, and the others get to go to the place I left some of my heart

when you're put in a place that you know you need to be, but desperately want to be in another at the same time

...
the youth belize team is leaving tomorrow morning. i don't know what else to say about it, except that it just hit me today how much i wish i could go. i've said and thought it many times, i just didn't know how it would land when it came down to the day.

i hurt..
i want to be with them
i want to grieve the loss of cindy again without distraction of a youth pastor having been fired the next day
i want to talk to vicky(her mom), but feel like it has been SO long since I've talked to her that now i can't
i want to love on them the best i know how
....

Lord,
give the students eyes to see and ears to hear what you want them to... how they can love on the Ariolas... yet, not overwhelm them.
may vicky and neal feel the love and support and be able to take it in.
amen

Painting Project

I forgot to tell about later that night! My sister and I were doing this painting project with the kids the week prior and needed to finish. In short, we painted 3 canvases each a diff color to match their bedspread. On each canvas we wanted the kids to put hand and feet prints on with white paint. Seems simple enough, but the hardest part was convincing them that it would look cool, and that it wasn't for their rooms anyways! :)

We first did Sarah's and made a flower from her hand prints and the stem with her feet. (that was the week earlier)... next we attempted to do little flowers with Julia's hands and stems with her feet. The feet worked pretty good, the hands were a WHOLE 'nother story. I wasn't optimistic about the hands, but my sister was determined and in the effort I accidentally clocked her in the eye with the canvas. The whole time Julia was a "bit" upset with the whole fiasco, so my sister finally gave up and we decided to just make "vines" out of her feet marks. Joshua was surprisingly hard to convince at first as well, but finally we made a deal with him and he cooperated. With his we made a "palm" tree... haha get it? Palm tree?!? Haha... okay, bad joke... but it turned out pretty cute!

Such fun times!

Much fun in the land of Tinkerbell birthday parties!

About a week ago was Sarah's 6th birthday. It was a crazy zoo that my sister and I BOTH learned lessons from. Everything went fine as far as the kids knew, but we weren't prepared as we thought ("we" should be held loosely, my sis didn't expect me to do a whole lot of prep), so while the kids were first showing up we were gluing(sp?) butterflies on sticks to make "fairy wands" and twisting star wire garlands to make fairy "crowns" or "garlands."

While doing so, the girls were running up and down the stairs from the playroom to Sarah's room to the living room. All the while, in the living room "Peter Pan" was playing and in Sarah's room a boombox was playing songs like Pink's "Get the Party Started" sung by some kids band, and that was the favorite song so it was played over and over. Needless to say, it was time to really "Get the Party Started," so my sister decided to pull out Pin the Tail on the "Unicorn" while I finished the fairy garlands. My dad even got in on the fairy garland making action which proved to be a great help in finishing.

After "Pin the Tail on the Unicorn," we had them make their little "wands." I have to stop and say that my sister is very creative... no that's too conservative.. EXTREMELY creative when it comes to crafts for little kids (not to mention, makes the best birthday cakes! decorated and all). I get so stressed out with little kids hovering around me needing help, I could have never decided what would be the easiest thing to make. I don't think these were easy, but Karen sure made it seem pretty easy. After the wand making craft, I handed out their "fairy garlands" and they took a break from structure and had the run of the place while we cleaned up a bit and got ready for the "Tinkerbell Pinãta."
(This is where the fun started (for me atleast).)

For the first hour or so the boys were still hanging around the house helping with whatever they could. But, the plan was for my dad to take Pat and Josh out on the boat while the girls were taking over the house.

The original plan my sister had was to have the Pinãta hang from the basketball hoop, but the boys had already left and they don't have a ladder. I decided that we could hang it from a tree, and I'd just climb up and tie the Pinãta on one of the branches. It was a great excuse to climb a tree, so I was all over it! Litterally. It wasn't too high, but I did use a chair to find leverage. I had forgotten that the tree would be moist, since it had been raining earlier in the day, so as I fenagled my way up (very ungracefully) my pants got a bit dirty and wet. The girls were in a stitch over me climbing and getting dirty. They kept saying "Your feet are all dirty!"

What makes it even more funny (and I think I forgot to tell my sister), was that I thought it was the kind where they were going to hit until they could get candy out. You know, the traditional long-standing way to do a Pinãta. (i bet i don't need to capitalize that! :)) Apparently, they make some now that have strings at the bottom, everyone grabs a string and pulls at the count of 3! It's probably best for that age, but I was expecting to "make it hard" and move the pinãta around so everyone had a chance to try. Thus, the more importance of being in the tree to have that kind of access. The sad part was that we never got a picture of me in the tree, just all the little girlies pulling the strings and then scavanging for the candy and prizes! OF course, it wasn't about me, but it would've been a funny site to see! (you can see my legs dangling down, though)

One of the biggest reasons I planned on being at the party was to do face painting, but I quickly realized that it might not really be needed. The time of the party was 2pm-4pm, and by the time the pinãta was finished, I think it was close to 3:15/30 and we hadn't done presents or cake. Those things went to just about 4, so I painted faces at the end as the moms were showing up. The mom's were all pretty flexible and waited for their kids to get painted, but working under pressure doesn't produce the best results in some cases. Atleast they are only 6 and probably don't have much to compare it to. Sarah kept her purple kitty on her face until monday I think!

It was so fun to see her interact with all her little friends, it's so apparent that she is definitely the social butterfly and is not very shy!

Thanks to those who stuck the whole story out, there was just so much to say! And, that was only SAturday. Sunday was lunch with the family to celebrate... and that was lots of fun, too! But, I'll leave all the details out. :)

party pictures...

Julia got all cleaned up for Sarah's birthday!


Sarah and her friends making "fairy wands" during her Tinkerbell party.

Presents!
The little girl with the brown hair at the top of the pic had the sweetest squeaky voice and was so petite!)

Happy Birthday Sarah!

(playing with play-dough in september)

Today is my niece, Sarah's, 6th Birthday! Six years ago to the day, she was born around 5ish... (i'm not her mom, i don't have to remember). One of the happiest days of my life, I had never experienced a birth so closely related, I can't imagine how it might feel one day to have my own children.
This weekend is all about Sarah, tomorrow is a birthday party with her friends that I'll be painting faces, arms, etc. at, along with crowd control in which the last I heard there were 8 who RSVP'd. Shouldn't be too bad :).
Sunday afternoon is lunch at my parents' place with the whole fam, mom dad, gramma, lee, and ant berda. We haven't been all together since Christmas, so it should be a good time to catch up and celebrate a little girl we all love so dearly!

Details shall come after the festivities.

April 30th, already?!

two things...

• I can't believe how fast this month went by!! A month ago this very night/(early morning) I was waiting for a call from my sister to tell me I needed to high-tail my butt up to St. Cloud to see my niece being born. I never got the call, but as planned I drove up at 7:30am. It got me to thinking... (how time flies)... is it because the weather is nicer and that I am more pleased with life overall because of that fact, or is it because I really do get a lot busier? It's probably a combination, in which if so, does that mean if I lived in Florida and had the same life that it would be busier?
  

• I was in Paynesville today playing with the nieces and nephew (i've wanted to say that for a long time :)) and sis and bro in law. It was a delightful time! We played on the computer, ate lunch, played "baseball" after watching the poor twins loose, and painted canvases. Julia of course didn't do much active playing, just the occasional cry and dirty diaper and feeding. My mom got some good pictures with me and the gang... when I get them from her, I plan to promptly post them! :)

Karma with K & C

If I believed in Karma.... this would be a great example.
The story I am about to tell doesn't have a whole lot to do with me, just something I witnessed with two individuals who I grew up with in youth group. They were the "trouble makers" back in the day and now one has a position with the youth in the church and the other is stepping in as a leader for awhile again. I'll just be calling them K&C, it probably doesn't matter, but owell.

This is how it goes... After youth group on wed. night I saw C and spoke with him about some pictures I found for Seniors Night. As we were talking K interupted and went on to tell C about an incident that happened in his small group room.
Apparently, before K reached his small group room the guys thought it would be fun to light a ping pong ball on fire to see what would happen(i came up with the reason, it's the only one i've figured). I'm a little uninformed about how the fire was put out exactly, or by whom, but in the process there was a large burn mark that was made in the carpet.
Absolutely hilarious. It's nice that K was good enough to give C a heads up before he heard about it from someone else.

Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall inside the family life cubicles on a thursday morning/afternoon!

Here's to all the youth workers of the world! :)

Velvet Elvis

For the last couple months I have been reading the book, "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. I just finished and have so many things running through my head... good things... hard things... questions.. here is what I have to share about it tonight...

You all know that I have been accepted into a DTS (discipleship training school) program with YWAM (youth with a mission) in Australia. I've had a passion to serve for many years.. the least and lost have always been at the center of my soul. Youth have also been a big passion as well, and the place I have served for almost 10 years. But, another passion that has been simmering in me for the last couple years is serving in the community. I say "simmering" because since the first spark, I haven't done a whole lot about it.

A few years ago I lived in an apartment in Brooklyn Park in a semi-sketchy neighborhood.. Zane and 65th. It was a complex of many buildings, ours was shaped like a "U" and in the middle was a large parking lot. We had a ground level apartment with a patio that went out to the parking . The area was always a swarm with children of all ages... sometimes getting into trouble, other times just playing in the small yards near the patios.
My roomates and I often kept the patio door open in the warm months and the kids seemed to swarm to our patio slab. I decided at some point to buy bubbles and another time a bucket of chalk. It wasn't something I had an agenda for, just a place for the kids to play and have fun.

Why am I sharing this? Well, it's the place where that simmering began, and I've often missed those days... also because "Velvet Elvis" answered a question I always had at those times... and that was... "should I be doing more?" meaning, the doctrine from my counselor days in the summer after my senior year came flooding back. I never felt "good enough" because I rarely sat down with each of my girls to get them to "convert" or "re-dedicate"... I hated that part. I always had this guilty feeling turning in my papers at the end of the week.
Here is a great quote that I always felt in my spirit, that speaks to this situation....

"Oftentimes the Christian community has sent the message that we love people and build relationships in order to convert them to the Christian faith. So there is an agenda. And when there is an agenda, it isn't really love, is it? We have to rediscover love, period. Love that loves because it is what Jesus teaches us to do. We have to surrender our agendas. Because some people aren't going to become Christians like us no matter how hard we push. They just aren't. And at some point we have to commit them to God, trusting that God loves them more than we ever could."
-Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

I'm not saying here that we shouldn't share our faith, but I want to learn how to do it so that it doesn't have an agenda. That it's me sharing this love that I cannot explain... without asking the person at the end if they want to become a christian, and can you repeat this prayer after me. If the person desires that, I'm trusting that God will speak to their heart. I don't have to be the one to help them say a prayer... I don't have to be there at all.

JULIA ANN

Sleeping Beauty

One Day old

More to come

Mountain Highs and Valley Lows

March certainly came in like a lion, and has gone out like a lamb.
Both literally and figuratively.

With the big snow in the beginning of March, came big news of my acceptance into the DTS program with YWAM in Brisbane Australia. Such excitement and mixed emotions, as I wrote about previously here.
About a week later came the news of my dear little girl-friend Cindy Ariola. She passed away one night after battling flu like symptoms on and off for a couple weeks. This was hard news to hear, but we all came together and prayed for her brothers, sisters, mother and father. It was a night of celebration that Cindy would now be walking, running, and singing in heaven.

The following Wed. night was another sorrow filled night... the leaders all sat in our usual meeting and dinner before the evening and received the news that our Senior High youth pastor was asked to resign.. or at that point had just read a letter stating he was leaving. We all sat in disbelief, not having any questions answered, just that he was gone and that we had to keep our faces straight until the night started and the youth were told. It was the hardest night I've ever faced as a youth leader. They gave us nothing, and at the beginning I blindly trusted that the leadership of the church new what they were doing and as the questions came in small group, I held to that belief. Later that night and the next day, the truth in my heart was revealed, and my blogs followed in my confusion and frustration.

The weekend that followed was filled with plans and trying to get ready to go to Colorado for a Ransomed Heart Ministries, "Captivating" women's retreat. It was the PERFECT time to get away and find rest in the arms of my abba father. Although it was hard being away for the next wed. night, not being there for the kids, my own heart needed healing. Before the retreat I met with an old friend in Denver and had some beautiful time re-connecting with her and rest at her house.
There is so much to say about the retreat I don't really know where to start. I met some beautiful hearts... many that were my age and some that were older and wiser. I had time to wrestle with God and be really frustrated and mad, but also time as I mentioned earlier to just sit in the arms of my father. Let him embrace me as I cried out and yelled and carried on... I wanted so much for him to tell me the exact things I needed to do when I arrived home. To start a petition, walk out, change churches, boycott.... but none of those were things He said to me. The words I came away with were Ruthless Trust (which I actually hear is a good book), trusting in him even when I don't understand how I can.... knowing that He is the only one I need to trust... I don't have to trust the leadership of the church, because no matter how hard they try, they will never do things perfectly. It sucks and I hate that.... but we're human and messy... and God's not.
It was a wonderful time to take in God's beauty of the Mountians and make some really great new friends.

I got home last monday with the news that my sister had almost gone into labor the friday I was in Denver. I was most pleased when I heard it didn't happen because I was supposed to be in the room with her this time around. The week at work brought much to do, but it was nicely manageable(sp?).
On thursday my sister was having numbness in her legs and her doctor wasn't being very proactive... long story short, they switched to a doctor in St. Cloud and he was very proactive and scheduled to induce on Thursday. To prepare for this they use gel to "soften" the cervix, to see if that would help her to go into labor on her own. She started on her own, but it suddenly stopped, so late on Thursday night/Friday wee early morning they started the ptosin (i'm sure that's spelled wrong!!). I drove up to St. Cloud on fri. morning and got there around 8:30am.. and she decided she wanted an epideral... it was a long hard night and she needed some relief.
I'll add more details in another post, but she had my beautiful niece Julia Ann at 12:09 pm... what an amazing miracle of life! It was the coolest thing to experience, I wouldn't trade it for the world.


a beautiful symbol of March going out like a lamb, my sweet little Julia Ann..........

pictures to come

trust

What do you do when you feel like an injustice has been served, but it has been served by the top people... who are they accountable to?

What kind of action can be taken, and how will it be perceived?

Trusting that God has some sort of plan, when the people you are supposed to admire for their faith have made a grave mistake, is really hard.

This is vague... but I'm sure we've all had these situations in the past. This one just feels so huge and out of my control, but like I said HUGE. It's important, and I feel like something must be done.

If you want to know what I'm talking about... just ask anyone involved with the youth at Open Door. I have no time or energy to re-tell it or re-hash it for the hundreth time.

I'm leaving for Colorado... pray that it is a time of renewing and refining... and directing.

God Help me

Gripping on so tight with the security I have inside
Knowing what is right holding onto my pride

Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears

I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
And my brokenness I will bring

Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even tho my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to what I know

I'm letting go

-Jeremy Camp


Lord, I'm not ready to let go.......
until the truth is revealed and explained

In memoriam, Cindy Ariola

Cindy died early this morning after being sick for several days. Cindy was the sibling of Raheem, Destiny, Josiah and Sarah. Daughter of Neil and Vicki Ariola.

This is one of the little children in Hopkins Village, Belize, who had brittle bone disease, in whose house I painted characters on the wall. There was a small memorial gathering in her honor tonight.

The time tonight was nice... a good way to remember Cindy and know that she is DANCING and RUNNING around in heaven in her new body! She was only 9years old and full of peace, love and joy. Always wiggling around and "dancing on the table" as music was played, or if we would just sing together. I remember a time where she and Destiny both were asking me to dance all over... one of my favorite old worship songs was playing "The River is Here" I danced and we sang and laughed. What a beautiful expression of worship...

The last night I was with the Ariola family in June and saying my goodbyes, Raheem decided to let me video tape him saying something into the camera. He said, "Bye, see you next, um see you sometime, say hi to everyone." And then Cindy wanted to say something as well, so I video taped her and asked "Okay, what do you want to say?" and Cindy said "I love you so much!"

It's really hard not knowing when I'll be back to Belize to see the family, a team of youth are going in June and if I had the time/money- I'd be there. But, with YWAM, I just don't see it happening. I made that decision long ago, but gosh I so want to be with them now.

If you care to, join me in prayer for the whole family as they greive this loss, one that was much more sudden than expected. My dear friend Vicky Ariola has to be going through a myriad of emotions and my prayer for her is that she would not become bitter- that she would cling to God when it hurts really bad and that her and her husband would be able to hold onto each other in those times as well. Another prayer is for Raheem, he was already feeling a little sick the past few days as well, but with this news has grown weaker. Our prayer tonight was for him to know the incredible value of his life that is yet to live.. that he would hold on and not grow weary! I don't believe that God is done with the ministry of his life! And for Destiny as well, who shared all 5years of her life with Cindy lying next to her... it has to be something she doesn't quite understand. The same goes for their two siblings who do not have the disease, Josiah and Sarah who are caught in the middle with much confusion.
Thank you Lord for the lives you have touched through this family, I pray these things in your name!
Amen

I don't want to end on a low note, because like I said earlier Cindy is dancing and running and laughing in heaven right now... so here's a little anecdote to end this ...

I received the email about tonight at about 7:30, this memorial was already in progress, so I ran out of my house in a bandana, flip flops(it was so nice out today!) and a coat.. okay and a shirt and what not... but I felt pretty stupid showing up late looking like a slob. I was about to paint a canvas, so I had gotten my painting clothes on... there was NO time to change. Owell... at the end Cheryl Skelly took a video of the group because she is going down there on friday. The Ariola's are going to think I ALWAYS wear a bandana... it's like it was meant to be... I was also wearing a shirt that we decorated in Belize with all the village kids that says "belize." Could it have been more appropriate? Only if I had my staple of blue sport shorts on as well.

G'day Mate!

I'm goin' to Australia!!

Here's my story,

One Sunday last May, Steve Hanson presented an update on Open Door's partnership with World Vision in Kenya&Uganda. In Nairobi, Kenya, we support Dr. David and Ann Kitonga in the Kawangare slum. In the middle of this slum is an island of safety and hope in the school built and run by the Kitongas. In Gulu, Uganda, we partner with World Vision as they serve former abductees of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army). In the time that Steve presented there was a short video shown of these places, and it impacted me. In the video was a wonderful woman named Nancy, she was on the team with Steve, and a couple years ago I went to Belize with her as a co-leader with the youth. I sat there watching and wondering if that could ever be me and what could I do to be in her position. Anyone who knows me, most likely knows that missions is a big passion... people in general are a big passion.
I saw Nancy after the service and told her that I would love to hear the more personal side of her story in Africa. We soon sat and had coffee together, she spoke of her stories and I listened, and she listened to my stories as well. During this talking the subject of a "DTS" came up, a DTS is Discipleship Training School. The one we talked of though was on Mercy Ships, which is an orginization that transformed a few cruise ships into floating hospitals. They travel to many destinations and onboard with the doctors and crew they hold these DTS's. This conversation got me to thinking and I began researching Mercy Ships on the web and praying.

At the end of June I went on my 2nd missions trip to Belize with the sr. highers, and upon my return scheduled a time to meet with Steve and chat about Belize and Mercy Ships. I was having trouble getting any response from Mercy Ships and wondered just how I'd ever get any information. While talking to Steve, he informed me that the DTS was actually started by YWAM on the Mercy Ships, and that they are no longer affiliated. But, that Mercy Ships still had a program like a DTS. I didn't want to send in an application to something that didn't seem to ever get back to me, so Steve reccomended I search on YWAM's website for a DTS.

This is where I got sort of overwhelmed. There are YWAM bases in hundreds (if not thousands) of places/countries. In one of the searches there was a category for "special focus" and under that was listed "creative arts." VOILA
As I searched under this category it brought up 4 different places... the two I keyed into were Pismo Beach, CA and Brisbane, Australia! I guess art is just associated with warm climates! Ha! :) So, I looked further into them and began emailing different questions... Australia started in Oct. 07, Cali was actually undecided. Australia had many different countries in attendance, Cali had primarily US...

There was a point where I couldn't do much, so it wasn't until after Christmas that I started really emailing the bases again and trying to figure out what I wanted, not to mention what God wanted. That has been the hardest part of this journey so far... this seems hard to say, but I have been struggling with the whole idea of God having a specific "plan" for my life that I might mess up, or the idea of Him blessing the paths that I choose. Does that make sense? What I'm trying to get at is, I haven't heard a direct "Lisa, go to Australia for the DTS" or "Lisa, stay here and be a disciple among the least and the lost right in your backyard"... or even "wait, this isn't the time" - what I have come to believe is that He has put this passion in me, and it's true I could serve anywhere. You don't have to have schooling to make a difference, BUT why not take this incredible opportunity now... I have no attachments, I'm young and only growing older. The plan He has for me is to love Him and love others... that's the greatest commandment, right?! Right...
For awhile, many different fears were holding me back from taking any steps toward starting the application process. But, during a winter youth retreat, I believe God was revealing to me that I had to have a "ruthless trust" or "dangerous wonder"- go and do it and don't worry so much about all those fears. (i think those two phrases are book titles, actually.)

So, in February I emailed the Australia DTS and asked if I turned in my app. by the end of the month, if that would be enough time. They said it would, so during February I made the appointments necessary, got my reference forms out and finished the personal history questions on the application. I accomplished my goal and felt a great peace inside as I brought it to the Post Office. (although, i felt slightly attacked when I locked my keys in the car and it was a huge fiasco. I was supposed to leave for Paynesville with my parents and it screwed our schedule up... but i digress)....

Last Tuesday, March 6th, I received an email from the "Registrar" that I had been accepted to the MAD DTS! (MAD= Music Arts Drama) It starts beginning of October and ends the end of April... that's 7mos. folks! I'm excited, filled with joy, love, a certain peace, anxious, sad, scared, but so happy to have the opportunity to learn how to love so much more and serve the God who lives in me!

I end with this....

It is the cry of my heart to follow YOU
It is the cry of my heart to be close to YOU
It is the cry of my heart to FOLLOW...
all of the days of my life

ODLent.blogspot.com

Just a little commercial for the blog that Scott set up for Lent and ideas on how to enter into this season... in the beginning it recaps on the Ash Wednesday service if you happened to miss it.

peace -

Lisa

here's a link that'll take you to it,
ODLENT.blogspot.com

so much snow!!

It has been a wild week and a couple days in weather, eh?! I just thought I'd share a few photos of my adventures in the snow.
The first one is last weekend driving home from Paynesville (30mins. west of St. cloud) at 11:30pm in the blustery snow. We checked MNDot road conditions and it said the roads we were to travel on were fair-good and marked in green. I was with my mom and dad... they drove the Jeep Wrangler up, so we had four wheel drive. My dad was pretty sure it would be okay, especially with the MNDot web reports.
Well... MNDot was wrong! And, I usually don't freak out, but it was a long day and still getting over a cold.. so lets just say I was not happy, and feared for my life the whole ride!

The next couple pictures are from the last snowfall. I got to work fine on Thursday, as did most others, but instead of driving back home after work at 5:00pm (I tried to leave earlier but it just didn't happen) I crashed at my mom and dad's. My dad was gone, so I helped my mom shovel and snow blow... their snow blower is ancient. It's SO hard to push, my arms are still feeling the affects!
Angela and all the other school teachers and kids of the metro got friday off, so she was able to get some great shots of our driveway. I think she took them around 11 and the plows hadn't even done the streets in our developement! There's no way we would've been able to get out.

This one is the view out our front door. Before they came to shovel. Looks pretty cool with all the snow drifts.

This one below is a good perspective in how much snow has accumulated over the last week and a half. Almost to the top of my grill!! Crazy!

On to some photography done by my niece, Sarah! This is Joshua and myself... what a cutie pie!

This one below is probably more funny to me than anyone else. This is Rainbow Brite's puppy, I got it when I was in Kindergarten (pretty sure atleast), and now Sarah is playing with it at grandma's. She took the picture, I think she's an aspiring photographer! :) She also took pictures of her other furry friend stuffed-animals... boo boo kitty, nala, etc.

You Are

I confess, this started on MySpace... but I think it's a unique little survey that's easy to fill out.. and sometimes really funny!
Now, it's your turn! :)

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Stumptown - Nickle Creek

WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
Llegaron Los Millonarios - Nachito Herrera (sweet.. you should check him out at www.nachito.net)

WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
Nothing Compares - Third Day Offerings II

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ambience - Falling Up

WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
Sunrise - Norah Jones

WHAT DO YOUR EXES THINK OF YOU?
The Sea - Carbon Leaf

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
This is a Call - Thousand Foot Krutch

HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
After the Rain - Phil Keaggy

WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
Ache for You - Ben Lee

WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
Take - Heidi Holt

ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
My Last Breath - Evanescence

WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?
Wonderful Creator - Paul Wright

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I Give You My Heart - Jeff Deyo

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hide - Creed

YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE:
Trinity - Jennifer Knapp

HAPPY TIMES:
Tender Mercy - 100 Portraits & Waterdeep

SAD TIMES:
If I Could - Jack Johnson

EVERY DAY:
We're So Far Away - Mae

FOR TOMORROW:
(A Quiet Interlude) - David Crowder

FOR YOU:
Somebody's Watching - Toby Mac

WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
One Last Breath - Creed
(ooh dang, I hope not)

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
Return Of The Singer - Kmax

WHAT DO I THINK WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A Beautiful Collision - (B Collision) David Crowder

WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
Sing Out In Joy - Jennifer Knapp

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
Diamond in the Rough - Jennifer Knapp

YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING?
Fearless - Falling Up

FAVOURITE PLACE?
Breaking My Heart - Aqualung

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
I Haven't Been Myself - John Reuben

WHERE WOULD YOU GO ON YOUR FIRST DATE?
X&Y - Coldplay

DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Glo in the Dark - Delirious?

WHAT DO I LIKE DOING MOST?
These Thousand Hills - Third Day

SONG THAT BEST DESCRIBES MY BOSSES AT WORK?
First Time - Hawk Nelson

WHAT IS MY STATE OF MIND AT THE MOMENT?
Shiver - Coldplay

HOW WILL I DIE?
Into The Dark - Ben Lee

THE SONG THAT YOU'LL PUT AS YOUR TITLE
You Are - Kirk Franklin

starting point

marinating. that is what i described a few days ago to say that i've had many thoughts running through my head on a certain subject. i realized that marinating isn't a great word to describe this because in marinating there comes a point when it is done and ready to cook. maybe it could be right, but to be more specific in what i'm trying to get at... the point is that it's not done, and my wonder is whether it is something that will ever be done.

on to what it is that has been running through my head.

about a month ago now i blogged about "future generations" how i emailed to the "contact us" page at church to see what they mean in using that statement from the pulpit. the response was interesting. it came from al, whom i have a lot of respect for and is a dear friend/mentor of mine. he pointed out several points in our church's vision statement and things they've implemented to fulfill the statement. it is interesting the things you find out by asking questions... and the things that go on that you never really knew.

i responded to him and focused more on the question of youth. why can't they be more present and acknowledged, other than just on an ash wednesday service. i think i responded in more of frustration.. the response back was, "what would it look like for them to feel noticed" (or something to that affect). it caught me off gaurd, because it's a really good question. i have a lot of ideas of how I think they'd want to feel noticed, but i intentionally said from the beginning i didn't want this to be about me.

after some good discussions with some good friends ;).. i continued to wrestle with the questions "what is my part in this?" "am i making this more about what I want instead of what the youth want?" .. in the discussion one of the statements was.. "maybe it's something that we have to sit and wait on" but that is a hard one to digest. we all had involvement in the youth.. part of us is still tied in. there was an investement made, so we still all want to see it. i think the hard part is when i finally decide to stop... where will i see it if it's not in the bigger church body?
these last couple statements just popped out- i guess what i realize is that there is still a passion within me to see the youth change lives... for them to be transformed and for others, especially the "olders&elders" of the church to see what incredible stories they each have to share. so that they know not all youth are punks who have no respect for their elders.

to wrap that all up somehow i'm going to just say that i'm glad i asked the questions. because, if i don't ask the questions, it doesn't get me anywhere. i may not have received the exact answers or any specific ones.. but it leads to new ones... all these questions are pointing me to God and that is the ultimate goal. some of this verbiage and thought is coming from the book "velvet elvis" by rob bell. one of his statements is this
(this pertaining more to questions of God.. the hard ones, like "why does He let bad things happen to good people")

"Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility. A humility that understands that I am not God. And there is no more to know.

Questions bring freedom. Freedom that I don't have to be God and I don't have to pretend that i have it all figured out. I can let God be God."

there is a lot of build up and explaining to all of that... but for me, it has been a journey of questions lately. in common christian circles it wouldn't be okay to ask those questions and not get the regurgitated "christian" answer... to abandon that answer and just be okay with the fact that God is the only one that knows.

marinating

For the past few weeks I've had some really good things marinating in my thoughts. Some things I have been sharing with friends and had some really good convo that brought some interesting views to light. This post is somewhat pointless... only to say that there is something coming... and get ready because it may be long!

oh, my keys

I went to dinner with my Aunt tonight because it was her birthday. We had a nice time and parted ways. On the way home I decided to return a book to Borders that I realized a couple pages in, it just wasn't me.
Before getting out of the car I reached to the backseat and grabbed the book, made sure the receipt was in it and jumped out hastily as to make a quick exit and bolt into the store out of the frozen parking lot.
As I made my way to the door I realized something wasn't quite right... it was the lack of jingle from my keys. Ah friiik... CRAP.. daNg It (i don't know why, but i still cannot udder an expletive outloud... i do it more often in my head... what's the difference?)... I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE CAR! Not to mention the spare was IN the car too. Real smart, Lisa, real smart. I had the spare in the car because of the mechanic work last week and never moved them inside!
I proceeded inside to return my book, all the while brainstorming what I should do about this predicament. It would've been easy if I had signed up for AAA already, since it has been on my mind, but that would be too convenient. I decided to call my dad, he knows everything... okay, not everything. Of course I knew what he told me, but it's always nice to get reinforcement, so I called up the non-emergency police line. They were very friendly and sent a nice policeman out to fetch my keys! :) (so, note to self, police in MG have "lock-out" service.. not all cities do)
Actually, two policemen came out... the first one got them to unlock and the second one copied down my license info. While doing so he said, "hey, did you go to Champlin Park H.S." I said, uuh, yeah... (also note that I was in my car and he was on the passenger side standing) and then he said "yeah, so did I, I know you... we went to Champlin Elementary together, too." He told me his name and I was very surprised. It wasn't a very ideal situation to "catch up" so-to-speak, you know, him standing outside in the frigid air without a jacket (apparently they don't wear jackets? what's that about) and me sitting in the driver's seat trying to get my car warm. As I thought about it later, I think I remember that he had a crush on me in grade school. How funny life can be sometimes!
One last thing... if you know me at all.. you know I haven't lived in one place for more than two years in the last 6... that makes about 5moves since I moved out of my 'rents place. The thing I hate doing most with the moves is changing my license. Last place I lived I was due for a new license in the following December, so i waited. This time... I've just put it off until Jan. because I had to get License tabs... perfect!
Good thing I just got my license in the mail on Tuesday!! Pretty sure they could've fined me, even with the new papers showing my renewal... but maybe since I knew the one guy... he'd give me a break. :) haha...

the end...

cars and musicians

cars are just plain money suckers. it's a losing investment that everyone (almost everyone) has to make and there is no way around it. but why is it that everytime i get to a point in my own financial situation that i can start SAVING, my car decides to suck the money out of me again. i don't ever feel like i can get ahead, but who does, right? i know i'm not the only one in this situation, but it's just frustrating. so yes, more car repairs for me... i guess a water pump is important, since your car won't function and will over-heat without it working properly. (deep sigh)
the end

on to a more positive story

so i've worked with a local musician, brian bates, for a couple of years now. i like to work with people who we've had a history with and who come back because they see the value of our work. brian is one of those people...
i am writing this tonight as a short little tribute to say "thanks." it's refreshing to work with someone who isn't always about business, has a sense of humor and of style, and is grateful for the time and effort we put into a job.


this is a ravecard (musicians business card) i created for him.

his music isn't really my specific style, but as with his design, it is quality! you can check him out at www.brian-bates.com

the practice of patience

As I made my grilled ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, I thought of a good analogy for patience.

My sister and I were talking this week about grilled ham and cheese sandwiches because they are something she is craving with the pregnancy. She commented about how Pat (my brother in law) makes them really well because he is patient. I agreed and said, I guess that's how him and I are alike. I finally mastered the technique of grilled cheese myself, so I was boasting to her about it as well.

I decided to have one for lunch today and thought of the conversation as I was making my sandwich. But of course, because I was thinking of it, my sandwich didn't turn out. I got distracted by something else in my patient state. I thought that the burner was on low enough, but I didn't check it often enough, and it was black when I finally looked! SHOOT! That patience didn't pay off, but maybe it wasn't the patience that didn't pay off, it was the distraction.

Okay, so if you need an explanation of what I'm getting at.. here it is.. in life they say that "patience is a virtue" etc etc... but if you're not paying attention to what you are patient with, you'll get burned!

haha... get it?!

I know... i'm cheesey... literally... haha... okay okay i'm done!

ooh.. two posts in one day again!

the "next generation"

Here is what I sent to Open Door on their "contact us" page... having just listened to a great new sermon by Dave... "the way of the rabbi"... it spurred these thoughts again because he again mentioned something about "the next generation".... what do ya think?---

For the past couple years now, I keep hearing from the pulpit that the "next generation" is important, and vital.. etc etc etc. Which I totally agree with and get excited about. My frustration is that there seems to be no instruction or no follow through in these people just saying it out loud. When I hear it, my question is, yeah, okay so?? What's your point... where are you going with that... where is your vision for the "next generation"...?? You can talk all you want about it from the pulpit, but still over half the congregation has no idea what the "next generation" is doing. Or who they are...

Is it the 20somethings... is it the 30somethings... or is it the youth? I suppose it is all of them.

I work with the senior highers... they are an awesome group of people. Why only let them lead a service that barely 1/3rd of the congregation attends? I'm sure there is some explanation of sorts that explains it away... what if this happens, what if that happens.. why does everything have to go through mirads of hoops at a BIG corporate church?

The 20somethings are starting to meet and it seems like a good place to connect, and it is fairly new... so probably needs some time to fester. I don't know...


I think my point to all of this would be, whose responsibility is it for things to change?

This could be a tricky line to walk on... because above all, it's not about the people, it's about the story of Christ in them.. and what he's doing in "the next generation."

I think that's the reason I've had a hard time with addressing any of this, because I don't want it to be a selfish, me- thing.

These thoughts probably aren't as thought out as they should be, but it's the best I've got for now.

I hate it when you've sent something, and then read it later again, (after having read it before you sent it, too) and realize something better to say... but owell... I guess that's why the last line is there.

almost two years

wow... i took Erin's challenge to look back from the beginning of all my blogs to date. Well, I admit that I didn't get through all of them, but it was interesting to read the ones I got through so far.

One of the highlights for me was reading the one about "Assertiveness vs. Old Fashioned Chivalry"..... It was bascially about my thoughts on dating at the time. After another two years of non-dating... except for one blind-date, my thoughts have changed slightly, but it sure doesn't mean it's any easier.

Here are my thoughts as of late..

This probably is a huge generalization, but I feel like some single christian men are wimps... okay that's really mean i know... so don't take it personally if you know you are not... but I can't understand why guys won't just say hey, let's hang out... and get the ball rolling to get to know someone. Just because you go out on a "date" doesn't mean you are ready to make any kind of commitment. Yes, I get it, it's hard... I've definitely heard the guy's side, but I've heard from a lot of guys who did take initiative... so I KNOW they do exist...
I've done the "hey let's hang out" bit many times and I'm sick of being the one to initiate things. Have I been not assertive enough, after 9 years of working in the youth ministry, and have NO dates??... that's a huge statement to make, because my intent in working with the youth has NEVER been to find a soul-mate. BUT, you'd think that there would be a higher possibility, right? atleast a few dates (that the other actually admitted to calling "dating").
okay so that was a huge rant... that i'll leave for now...

online dating just doesn't work for me...
i want to meet someone in a casual setting.. trying to wade through 20 matches who probably are already pursuing other matches in the first place is not fun! so yes, I admit here publicly that I tried it.. for one week.. (yeah yeah... give it time right... whatever) and cancelled. BUT, cancelling only made it so that I couldn't receive more matches. I continued trying to communicate with a couple, but neither really seemed to click... and I just didn't like the process. There's still this feeling of pressure... and it's a lot of work and time commitment. Of course that's how the dating process is, but in normal circumstances (vs. online) you'd usually only be "dating" and getting to know one guy at a time. (or i s'pose that could be challenged, but you know what i mean).
I don't want your "positive" thoughts encouraging me to give it another chance, unless you've had experience with this... :) (course, I'm sure none of my readers would be in this situation anyhoo... )

let's see... other thoughts...
i'm sure there could be more.. but i believe my caffine buzz from the mango tea i drank at 8 tonight is finally wearing off and i should go to bed so that i'm not cursing at clients under my breath tomorrow from my lack of sleep.. haha.. JK i don't do that!!! (too often, atleast)

back in Black!

I went to look at both jackets again thurs. night and the Green just wasn't workin for me. I thought I liked it better, but it was too lime-like for me.

I'll put up a picture soon, but wanted to let you all know! :)

I want YOUR vote!!

I'm trying to decide what Columbia jacket I want... I saw one at Sports Authority for only $112, but it was one of those trendy green colors. I think the exact same jacket is at Dick's Sports, but it's $160 and black and white instead of the green. I'm leaning toward the black, but I'm not sure how technical they'll get with the price match. I have to call tomorrow and see... in the meantime, what color do you prefer... i used a bit of photoshop magic to do this... it's all low-res so it's hard to tell anyhoo... but owell. (i'm such a nerd, it took way too long to pose and get a halfway decent pic)
trendy green... (do you think the color will get old in 5yrs., i want it to last)


















more traditional black


















I have them both on hold... Sports Authority only holds things for one day... and Dick's for 48hours... HELP! :)

my joshy

Just a little story about my nephew...

He's a cute little man, and tells it like he sees it. He won't often give you a hug if you ask him to (like if you're leaving and won't see him for awhile), but that's not to say he won't ever give you one either. It's on his terms. I think that's a good quality because you know that when he decides, he really means it.

On New Years day I went to the 'rents house because my sister's fam was there and wanted to play in the fresh snow with the niece and nephew. Well, they didn't have their snow stuff with them since it was pretty brown looking when they left paynesville earlier in the weekend. But, we still played outside but "didn't" play "in" the snow. Or, um, I didn't and they of course couldn't help themselves. We made snow balls and threw them at the house and then at my car, which was pretty dirty. Josh noticed that the snowball spot made it "look" clean, so he took it upon himself to "wash" my car. He was really determined to get it all done, and at one point said, "Anty Lisa, I need help to get this all done"... (I had been helping Sarah shovel snow into the street... or out of the street.. one of the two :)) So, I stopped and helped Josh wash my car.
We played some other games... made miniture snowmen and then decided it was time to go inside. When we were all done and got settled inside, Josh was playing on the chair and said, "I had a lot of fun outside playing! Did you?"
I of course told him I had a lot of fun. What a sweet boy, right? I mean, what 3 year old says stuff like that? Well, maybe many do, but like I said before, when he decides to say something like that, you know he really had fun!
So, even though he doesn't always give hugs before I leave, it doesn't matter so much because he shows his love in his own special way.
Love you Joshy!














(another one of those "moments" he was ready to be done with pictures!)