just felt like posting a pretty pic of belize for you... should've done this on that site... owell.

clutz=me

so today i went to the pool to sun bathe and in trying to put my chair back down into the reclining position I pinched mmy pointer finger. BAD... there are about 50-100 little blood vessels that burst... and 7hours later it is still softly throbing.

it doesn't help i'm trying to type.. needless to say, it takes a lot longer to type with a thrwobbing finger.

do you know how much you use it?? It's crazy... I think I could've gotten by a little better if it were my wring finger... oh yeah, and it's on the right hand... makes mousing a great obstacle as well... I guess my flicker offer finger will work for that :)... since really it isn't used much for that anyways :) haha... anyhoo- i'll be putting myself out of misery now.
good night

It's official

The news I received from Paul on Thursday is now out in the public and official, he is leaving his position as the sr. high youth pastor.

WOW... I was stunned, though at the same time I know things will be alright and in time we'll find someone to take his place. The news hit me strangely though, I think the biggest thing is that I was really looking forward to some normalcy in the youth group this year. Getting into a new groove with Scott and looking forward to what Paul had planned for this year. I felt I was finally really connecting with him, I was feeling known by him. That is a big deal to me, and my fear now is that nobody will see the history that I have had with the youth ministry at Open Door. It's not that I need some kind of recognition for my long-standing, it's about wanting people to know some of the history, the "memory stones" if you will of the journey we've been on. And, I felt that Paul was the last person in paid leadership who had any inkling to those things.
Of course, it's not as if these things can't be revealed to our current guy(scott, dept. head and jr. high youth pastor), and maybe they have already and I'm just not aware. I don't know how those types of jobs work, but if I was a youth pastor, I think I'd want to know some of the history of the youth ministry, not only about the church as a whole.

Some of my feelings come from not wanting to be forgotten or taken for granted. I feel like I have something to offer, but now the people who knew what those things were, are gone. I think that's where God is pressing into me, asking me to step out on the water. This time, I'm going to have to be vocal about what I'm interested in, not have someone know what I can do and ask me to do it. I've stayed in my comfort zone with the youth for a long time, and sometimes knowingly ignored the callings to share my story, or get up in front of them on a wed. night in some capacity(besides small group settings). So, though this place I'm in is a bit scary, I'm choosing to move forward and listen to His voice in this time of transition.

addition.

7. Seven attendants is way too many! Especially if they're all bridesmaids...(now, if two of those were junior bridesmaids that's a bit of a diff. story).

:D

Another wedding down

Well, I picked up a few more pointers for whenever/ if ever I have my big day.

1. Not doing foot washing.
(i get the symbolism and what not, it just doesn't flow for me)

2. If I wanted to do a slideshow (not sure about one anyways)... I'd have it run while letting the rows out.

3. I'd consider doing the worship time at the end of the wedding. I was surprised that it was at the end, but it was a cool thing to end with. It was cool that the whole wedding party came down from the stage and were apart of the "congregation" of guests. I don't know that I'd ever been in such a deep worshipful place(within myself) during a wedding before.

4. Not introduce my wedding party as if they were a personal ad/miss america as they walk into the reception.

5. The DJ will play more than just the typical wedding music fare... and have much more swing dancing music, and at the beginning of the dance. Veto(sp?) YMCA from the beginning and make sure the DJ has the correct version of the Electric Slide... it's a classic favorite.

6. Oh yes! And one big one, do the bouquet toss soon after the dance begins... or right away! I missed my chance at that AGAIN! Only two more left this year. I better talk to a couple of these brides! :) haha The first one, some old married asian woman caught it! That's got to be outlawed! too bad there aren't do-overs

Okay... now that I've analyzed the poor couple's wedding I must comment that it really doesn't matter what I think... it's her day and it was everything she wanted, so don't think I'm an awful person! Well... whatever if you do, I can take it! :)

good night my dear friends

Six Flags Great America: The Ultimate Coaster Haven

This past few days (sun-tues) was spent with 70youth in Chicago at Six Flags... pretty much the ultimate trip for the Senior High Youth and their leaders!

I LOVE RAGING BULL and SUPERMAN!!!

They are the two best rollercoasters ever built... as far as I'm concerned. I really have only been to two amusement parks, so maybe it doesn't count, but I just don't see how they can get any better unless they lasted more than 3 minutes (which is pretty darn long for a rollercoaster).

Superman description....
You walk to your seat with the track above your head and the seats hanging down from it. You sit in a form fitting seat that has a heavy duty harness coming down over you and another harness type thing that straps your legs in the sitting position. When everyone is checked and locked up, the seat rotates you so that you're now staring at the floor- in a superman flying type position. It pulls out of the boarding station at a minimal speed and brings you up to a point that doesn't seem so high and without an indication you're bolted into fast action doing a complete summersault. It's hard to describe in words just how unreal and freakishly adrenaline rushing this one loop feels. I was screaming and about two thirds of the way down it was cut off by my stomache coliding with my throat.
Although I practically screamed my guts out on that first loop, it was still amazing, I loved it, especially because when I got off, I didn't have that light-headed dizzy feeling like I get when I get off Batman.

Here's a non functioning link that you can go to, it shows the rides so you can really see what they're like...
http://www.sixflags.com/parks/greatamerica/Rides/list.html(i'm not web savvy enough to figure out how to do a link directly yet... gotta work on that)

Raging Bull description...
This one is awesome because you totally feel like you're weightless at so many points in the ride. The first drop is exhilarating, especially if you take your sandals off and go bare-foot with the wind wooshing through your toes and you're on one of the end seats. It gives me the best feeling ever... the adrenaline high is incredible. I can still feel it after two days... I so want to be there soon! So this description is failing miserably at being really specific, but you should just really go if you haven't been there before.

I was saying to Tim that I wonder what it would feel like to go there without running on less than adequate sleep. That would be nice... I think they're open until October... hmmm...
road trip anyone?? :)

the village

If you haven't seen this movie and don't want to hear anything about it... stop right now.

If you're still reading, you probably don't care, even if you do see it, but I am giving away the "so-called" "twist" of the movie... like I said, it's not that big of a deal, except that if you do know before the movie, it would make the whole movie not worth watching.

So, here is my review... though quite late since it seems most people have seen it or have heard enough negatives to not see it. Though I heard the same laments about this movie, I still wanted to see it for myself. I'm glad I did, because I would have wondered if maybe, just maybe I would've really enjoyed it.

I liked it until they told you that "the ones we don't talk about" were actually the "elders" of the town who wanted to escape from real life and create their own "safe" community. I kept thinking, no, that can't be the only twist, there's got to be another one coming. The one thing they threw in at the end was a bit lame... of course explained some things, but it definitely was not the best of M. Night Shamaylan's (however ya spell it) movies. After Sixth Sense, you just can't get much better, or I should say he hasn't.
Though I did enjoy SIGNS, I should watch that one again, boy that brings back memories. I saw that movie with Rich, Corinne, Tim, and JJ, back in the good ol' days when nobody was dating anyone and we all just had good old fashioned fun! But I'm not bitter... tee hee jk i'm really not...
So, back to the review...
Overall, I liked the first half, the second didn't go well and then the ending... that was even more lame. I did like Adriene Brody's character, he kind of made the movie for me, even though he was the one who almost killed Joaquine Phoenix. Or maybe he did kill him, we never do actually find out... DUMB, it's not even one that you care to wonder if he lives or not. It's like, WHAT? that's the ending... wow... this truly was one that I understand why 95% of the people I talked to said it was lame.

That's my review!

Adios Amigos~

Quote

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out."
-Chekov

I read this quote in the book, "Captivating," the female version of "Wild at Heart." John Eldridge and his wife, Stasi co-wrote this one, it's good.

This quote made me stop and think. It's in reference to how women are tired and drained, but it's not from a life of shared adventures, it's from lives that are crammed with routine, chores, and hundreds of demands. It says that, "Somewhere between our youth and yesturday, efficiency has taken the place of adventure."

I think it can also be applied to men as well, we all have that sense of life being filled with demands that wear us out, instead of adventures that are fulfillingly tiring.

Any thoughts?

Wet Dog Stinks!

Tonight is my last night of house/dog sitting and I have to say that I am ready to be done. I always forget that it is more work than I think, until I get the list of pets/amphibians/reptiles to feed, not to mention the dog and cat.
There are always more things to do than you think.. like feeding the Bearded Dragon meal worms and lettuce every other day, watering the boy's jalepeno plant every day, cleaning out the water dish of the turtle and feeding it lettuce every other day. Oh, and once while they're gone feed the slimy tree frog some meal worms as well. The feeding just consists of tossing the worms in their cages, but first I use a fork to sift through the sawdust to find the nasty things. And this evening, while tossing the lettuce in the dragon's cage, it decided to lunge at my hand, the lettuce flew all over the cage and I quickly shut the top. ICK! What teenage girl in their right mind has an ugly dragon for a pet?? I guess this one does, but not me... I'm doing well to keep a fish alive for more than 3months.

I had to work later today and didn't think of how it was pouring outside, and the dog stays out all day long. OOPS... I got home to find the neighbor girl who walks the dog every day, standing with an umbrella waiting to tell me something about the dog. Turns out she "got her period" in the girl's words :). Yes, she went into heat and so that means she's dripping, so I kept her outside. But, the rain was letting up and did stop by about 7:30, so I didn't feel bad. I called their owners and he said it was fine to leave her out. I can have a clear concience(how do you spell that??). So, she was a wet stinky dog when I let her in to go in her kennel tonite. I'm not awful though, I did dry her off with towels as best I could!

I've come to the conclusion that I'm really okay with not having animals at this point in my life. I had a dog and cat growing up and loved them, but I've now grown accustomed to not having hair all over and not having the extra responsibility. I do think that I'd let my children have pets though, they are great for helping them learn responsibility... and good companions as well.

That's the long and short of it... until next time... free of pets...

toodles-

Have you ever?

This is a very random one today...
so anyways...

Today on my way to work I was listening to my new Jack Johnson cd... i should say new to my ears because it's Brushfire Fairytales, not the newest one, In Between Dreams, I already have that one. Okay, so as I was listening to the song "Mudfootball" I started clapping with the song at the end. It has the claps in it already, it was just the oddest thing, because I usually am not one to do motions to songs, especially while driving in my car. I must have been really into the song. It just made me laugh... ever do those things? It's kind of like speaking before you think, but in actions :) haha.

that's all for today...

toodles-

Always an Adventure!

My sister and I got together last night for dinner and much needed catch-up sister bonding time. We met in Albertville at the outlet mall because she moved up to Sartell in the spring, and that's about half-way for us.
A little way down the road from the mall there are some little retail stores etc., Coburns'(apparently my sisters favorite new(to her) grocer), and a "Majors" grille and bar. I had never eaten there, so we decided to give it a shot. They had a special going on, you could get a 10" one topping pizza for just $4!! Sweet... so we both did that.
We caught each other up on all the drama and not drama that was going on and I shared with her stories and pictures of Belize. When we finished eating we started looking at pictures and just five short minutes into it, 50cent and other bump-n-grind songs were pumped into the speakers. Wouldn't you know, we picked the DJ night to have a good sister bonding time, ugh... owell, we drove back to my car and sat in her Jimmy looking at the rest of the pictures and jabbered for another hour and a half or so.
Close to when we were just realizing we should probably leave (it was close to 11pm), we heard a few clicks. It didn't really do anything else so it didn't phase us. Well, turns out that if you sit in a car with the radio on for a long time, it just might cause the battery to die. DOH! What the heck were we thinking?
Here the adventure starts... we of course don't have jumper cables, that would be way too convenient. Not a big deal, we'll just go to the nearest gas station and buy some, then they'll be there for future mis-haps. We get to the first gas station... closed. Second gas station.... closed. Third gas station... you get my point, closed. Damn small towners and closing early, it's all the fault of those pay at the pumps!
Then we think, oh yeah, we'll go to Coburns, they're a store, they should have jumper cables...
nope, they'd be in the gas station connected to the store which was of course.. closed. And of course they are seperate entities, so you still can't buy anything from them.
So, with two sleeping children at home, I wouldn't ever think to have Pat come down and get Karen, so I drove her home. I decided to just stay there the night and get to work early this morning... so on the way I stopped at Target and had an excuse to buy a new shirt and unmentionables... i hate the words that describe them, so anyways... (i should have put the word "panties" on my survey from wed. night about what word you hate... but I don't know if that would've been appropriate... for those of you who don't know... the leaders filled out a survey of questions and they'd read random ones for the kids to guess which leader it is/was)

So... there you have it! I'm off to a Howie Day performance... a free show in fact! Hurray for free events! Mpls Aquatennial starts up.. woop woop!

toodles all...

Happy 4th of July!

Hello again my friends... what a beautiful day to celebrate our Nation's birthday!

As I sit here, this is the second day I've been back from the beautiful country of Belize and I'm glad to be home. Sometimes I have a hard time being home, but this time around it feels really good to not be sweating 24/7 and not have biting flies attacking me at night, or unrestful nights of sleep because of those two things.

Today I will be spending the day with my parents, my sister's fam, and our good friends The Robinson's. We're going to Lake Orono in Elk River... picnicing and playing in the water with the boat... tubing and what not. And at the end of the day I believe they shoot off fireworks over the open water. Fun stuff!

I'm off to do that, but wanted to post something finally after two weeks down. :)
Have a blessed and safe day!

Good, busy weekend

As I sit here this monday morning and think of all the things I did this weekend, while still being able to get a good grasp on the things I needed to accomplish, I'm feeling pretty good. I had a little bit of a melt down yesturday, but my parents were there to see me through it and help me relax.
I just want to say that I love my friends... all of them. We're all at really different places in life and at times it is a struggle to know how it is changing and how to adapt. But, I think if you just keep trying to figure it out and wade through the confusing stuff, it'll figure itself out. The outcomes may be different than you had hoped, or maybe better than you hoped. In the end, you can look back at the journey through and learn from those ups and downs, twists and turns.
Sure, there are the times where those friendships really take a hault, but I do believe very much the saying that goes something like this, "friends come and go, but your true friends will be with you always... no matter the distance or length of time between being in touch" and also that "friends/people are there for certain times in life, and though you may never see them again, it doesn't make that time any less significant"

Anyways.... All that to say... I'm leaving tomorrow for Belize. I'll be gone until July 2nd, I will see you all at that time and have many stories and pictures to share.
Peace be with ya'll until then...
love ya

Unexpected Reactions to X&Y

Okay, this is a quick review, but I didn't want to put it off any longer. I bought the new coldplay cd right away at Target on Tuesday because it was only $10!! That was awesome! So, I was anticipating a great cd from beginning to end and when I popped it in the first time, it totally didn't grab me. I mean, I guess not all cds are like that, but with U2's new album the first song is just rockin' and sweet(now overplayed) and I actually had to take a couple listens to love the whole thing. Getting back to Colplay now, I listened to the first song in my car and like I said, it wasn't what I expected. That was the farthest I got until I pulled into work(it's very close to Target)... so I put it into my co-workers computer because she has louder speakers than mine, and I was really disapointed because the vocals were just nowhere to be heard... well, you could sort of hear them but not well. Since it was not my computer and not my speakers, I wasn't familiar with them and tried all I could to improve, so I was thinking that maybe it was the recording or how they wanted it. I was beginning to really wonder what I bought.
Well, it finally finished on the other computer and I decided to test it out on mine... WOW, what a difference! I could hear the vocals, that really makes all the difference in the world... you're all probably saying "duh.. hello, obviously it was the speakers"... but stranger things have happened, I tell you! Upon the second go through I was much more happy, but it definitely has a different tone. I really like Chris Martin's voice, and that hasn't changed. I think my favorite song so far is "Fix You"... mostly for an awesome instrumental bridge at the mid-end of the song. Calling it an intrumental sounds really boring... but it's awesome! I was never in formal music classes, so I don't remember terminology for what I'm hearing other than it just builds up to a climax and goes off into beautifully rocking guitar riff or sorts. I don't know much more how to explain it, but I really like it!
There's a non deep review of it... have a wonderful night... i'm off to dream-land now...
night all!

Memorial Day

On the evening of memorial day I went to see the fireworks at Harriett Island in St. Paul. I love fireworks, and they were a great start to a season of fireworks to come. The thing I love about those is that K102 puts together a montage of songs(not country!!) and spoken word tributing to veterans and present soldiers, etc. If you haven't noticed already, I am a big music junkie and it just grabs me and speaks in ways that plain words can't. I never quite know how I am going to react, and sometimes I don't understand fully why tears come.
I've never been one to feel like a huge patriotic parader, especially after my first trip to Haiti. I remember hearing the song "God Bless America" I cringed inside as I watched fireworks with a group of friends. I had tears, but not of pride and loyalty to my country, I was angry and didn't understand why America should be so blessed. Why wasn't it Haiti, Belize, India, Uganda, or Kenya that God blessed?
So, again, while watching these fireworks and hearing "I'm Proud to Be An American" the tears come. I try to figure out why because it's not those same feelings I had 6 or so years ago. I think it partly has to do with music just speaking to my soul in a way I don't understand, and also because I (in the case of this song) translate "proud" into thankful. I'm grateful to all of the troops fighting, and for the ones who have fought before them. I still don't understand, but I'm incredibly thankful to God that He has put me in this place of freedom. I'm so thankful, that I want to do everything I can, to serve and honor Him and use what He has given me. And really, to kind of answer that question I pondered years back, it's not that God hasn't blessed them. As wise men have said, this world is filled with good AND evil. The question could really spin off into one of those Sovreignty of God talks... which is more than I want to tackle or start at this point(especially since it's midnight). The point is... I don't know. Only God knows... one day all of the questions will be answered. Until then, I'm not going to make myself crazy trying to figure it out.

the decision

So... my decision about Coldplay...
not gonna do it.... :( to much saddness... but not regret because David had a good point that I'm sure in the next few years they will be here again. I hope this makes me no less of a Coldplay fan though. The reason for my plight is that I didn't really think of the money factor, i was thinking i'd just charge em, but i just can't bring myself to do it... the prices are indeed lower than U2, but not as low as I originally thought. And, right now, I have decided to make some financially smart decisions because as of late I haven't been. I have to start sometime and regretfully it is for this. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made... I feel a bit strange posting this kind of reason... so don't feel bad or anything like that. I'm really feeling okay about it, much worse things could happen(ie. see haiti blog). Maybe I'll win some off the radio... atleast I hadn't asked anyone if they'd want to go, that would really have sucked to tell them I couldn't.
Tha tha tha thaaaat's all folks!

my half birthday

wow... it doesn't seem that long ago that i was celebrating my 24th birthday, and now it's already been 6mos! I'll be old next year... 25, that's really really old! :) haha... just kidding
maybe my car insurance will go down more than a dollar this time! That's what it has been doing every six months lately... I have no idea why... maybe it's from the speeding ticket getting further and further away... think i got that in 01'... anyways...
another random thought from me...

have a happy and hopefully sunny day!

Coldplay blues

Two blogs in one night... is that allowed? sure it is...
so, i just thought i'd let anyone who cared about my other coldplay post know, that i infact did NOT get into the lottery to have a chance at the pre-sale tickets. I think it was all a scam just to take up 1min. of my precious time! :) So, the debate now is... how much do I really desire to see them in concert? It's not like I've been a fan since they started... it was really only two years ago... actually barely two years ago. That really shouldn't matter... in that time I've grown to enjoy them... there was a time I put them down so as to not get sick of them... but realized I just don't think I will. The songs are unique enough to not all sound the same... except you always know that it's a Coldplay song... if they become as big as U2, i could always have the story that I was saw them in concert... before tickets started at 50bucks a pop (that's what it was for U2, then it jumped up to 160 or something awful like that). they start at 34 for CP..

anyways... are they worth it to stand in line at the box office/ticketmaster hours before, just to get tickets?? that is my quandry for the week, they go on-sale this sat.... i must make my decision by friday night... any Coldplay fans have pros/cons for me on this? Anyone been to a concert of theirs... or know anyone I could check with.... i'm in a conundrum :)

What you see is...

what you get!

so, this is me... the good, the bad, and the ugly, and beautiful and strange and wierd and all other sorts of things...
Dave's sermon today, I really liked. about knowing yourself, the part i liked was. (just saw star wars... trying to talk like yoda... don't think it's quite working:))
Seriously though, I loved it when he said you should know your weirdness or something to that effect. We've all got our own stange ways about us... one strange thing about me, that Rich B. just pointed out to me tonite is that I remember random things... but to me, they're not random.
I actually have been told that before, but maybe the downer to that is I can't remember really simple things... like bringing my gym shoes with me in the morning when I plan to work out after work and not stop home before. So... back to how they're not really random... for instance this particular thing I brought up I was actually wrong because the person I thought was apart of the memory was not. The memory was of a bunch of youth leaders all going to Rich's house and watching Ed... it was an abnormal crowd. Usually it was just him, me and a couple others. This time it was so full I sat on the floor cuz the couch was all taken. AND, we were watching the ED episode of the Lucid Dream... it was just so not the norm, and that is why I remembered.
So... just one of the unique/stange/wierd things about me... like I said... what you see, is what you get on this blog... i like variety and spice... so that's how it'll be :) just like how I changed the color :)... again, i prolly didn't have to explain... but that's me... it's what i do. if you don't like it... go home! :) haha
good night... it's past my bed, oh uh, wait, since when have i had a bedtime...
(i'm so cheesy) :)

Something resonated here...

I was reading "Esther" A Woman of Strength and Dignity by Charles Swindoll tonite and He wrote a paragraph that describes a bit of what I was trying to get at in my blogs about women's roles today, etc. It just felt good to read someone else's thoughts on it and maybe it will make more sense how he says it...

I feel great compassion today for the woman of God who has to endure the nonsense that comes from the media regaurding her role, her significance, her place in society. I don't know of anyone who has more right to be confused than the woman of today. She receives all sorts of answers, all sorts of mixed messages, all sorts of alleged proof that independence is the only way to fly and that doing your own thing and becoming what you please will bring you peace and lasting joy. Women must wonder at times, in the midst of this whirlwind, what exactly they are supposed to do. What exactly are they supposed to be.

I'm glad I know the God of this world and I know where He wants me and what I want to strive for, in His eyes. I know that my role is not defined by society or what they say is right or wrong, but I am human, so it is easy to forget those simple yet truthful things about me and about whose I am.

(so, maybe I should start a blog that is more for serious things, and another for the "random" thoughts that I have that aren't so serious... or maybe this makes for an interesting blog because you never know what tone it will take on... whatevah :))