Pics! (click on them to view larger)

Because of all the rain, the entrance to our cabana's got flooded. But, not our actual cabana's, this is the main lobby/little restaurant place.









This is the late night in the jungle, would've turned out better if the pic wasn't blurry! :(









Here's the beautiful beach we got to look at each day! :)









The paintings i did from last year... I took another picture just cuz

back from belize

love is all you need.

i'm slowly learning that belize is trying to share the place that Haiti has in my heart. but i do believe it is different in some ways. i will share more on that later.

it's good to sleep in my own bed... but home really isn't home, having moved while being gone. i knew it would be strange, but i didn't know how drastically it would affect my mood this morning. not having familiarity was really hard and brought me to tears many times, not to mention having some culture shock, too.

my cable line isn't going to be hooked up until thursday, so here i stand(because I need to go quickly) at Dunn Bros checkin' up on my e-life, if you will. :) course, not much was missed because everyone knew i was gone. it's all good... and funny to realize how much junk mail you can get in 11-12 days. Especially in the account that seperates the really really crappy stuff. you still get things like "new music tuesdays" from iTunes or Ticketmaster Concerts. Atleast I do, and never realized how much. There are some "random" facts for you.

and now i'm signing off... more processing and pictures to come...
call me or email, or i will(wasn't meant to sound like a threat)... i miss friends! :) hope to see you all soon

Refine Me...

In one week I'll be in Belize, and I'm ready to be there RIGHT NOW. There are so many little things to remember and I have written things down, but I just want the day to be here so I don't have to think about them anymore. We will have a team blog while in Belize, it is www.teambelize.blogspot.com
Really original, eh? Yeah, I know... I would've made it a little more specific, but whatever I wasn't in charge. Not like it's a big deal... just blabbering... okay... now to the more serious or contemplative matter of the title.

I've been really introspective in the last month or so... off and on just really crying out to God from within about many different things. One thing I've been thinking about lately is about that "hole" that christians, including myself, talk about, that only God can fill. My latest wondering or thoughts about this are these:
1. I am human and sin, I will never be perfect in this fleshy skin.
2. If I am human, and can't be perfect... will I ever really feel like that "hole" that God is supposed to fill is always completely filled?

I mean, there are times when I feel that it is completely filled and I couldn't tell you for how long, but then there are many times when I feel really empty. I think that if I only had someone tangible to fill that spot, then, then I'd feel whole and complete with God. I know that's not true, even if I was married and had kids, it doesn't mean I'd have filled that hole. So... what do YOU think? let me know your thoughts..

on another note that is connected, I listened to Jennifer Knapp on the way up to Paynesville last friday... the good 'ol Kansas album. Refine Me really spoke to the place that I'm at right now... here it is...
(oh, and fyi: I don't feel completely empty right now, I re-read this and it sounds more depressing than the state that I'm really in)

I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain

You're my God and my Father
I've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?

Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire, burn my desires; refine me

Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me

Fishing... or lack, thereof...

On Sunday I went up to Paynesville to go "fishing" with the fam. But, like I said in a previous post, it doesn't make sense for me to get a license because I just don't fish much. It was a perfect example of why I don't fish, either... I just don't have patience. It's wierd because I'm a pretty patient person, but when you're set on doing something, and that something doesn't always produce what you are there for, it doesn't make sense to me. (def. used too many commas there, haha) Needless to say we only caught two fish worth even catching and the other two were pretty much bait for real fish! My mom caught this Sunny and my dad caught the baby northern.












I had fun though because the weather was beautiful and I got to play with the niece and nephew. They did really well for being out on the boat for atleast 3-4hours! We hit some rough REALLY rough water which was great fun! I took some video on the cam., but it doesn't look as bad through the camera. It's the worst I've been on... but the most fun! :)
Josh didn't want his pic taken, but I snuck one quick, I like it! :)
Sarah is always smiles, usually they look like a forced "picture" smile, but these turned out pretty well.













I love this pic of us! The best part is, I totally didn't pose her. We were just sitting there and I looked over and saw her with her legs crossed and hands on them. Adorable. simply adorable, so we quick snapped a pic! :)

Now I'm off to the Brummond's for some BBQ'n and possibly more boat fun!

Painting Zone

I wrote on Saturday that I was procrastinating packing, and then went to church. I had planned all along to paint at some point on Saturday and never got to that either.... until... after a power nap which I took after church... I needed some energy to embark on my painting escapade. (I'm flowering this up, way too much) Okay... this is what I did...



I had wanted to paint something for my sister and bro-in-law for christmas and never had the time, so I decided that I was going to finally start. We had talked about what she wanted, so earlier in the day I mapped out a few things on the computer. She told me she's going for a French "country" look, that's contemporary- not country like "mom" country (ie: cows, chickens, blues and pinks). In the picture you can see that her walls are a light greenish color, but what you don't see is that one of her walls is a maroon/brick red. The red and yellow are going to be her accent colors. I tied those in and she also asked for "fleur di li" so thanks to the wonderful world of symbol fonts, I was able to print them out and make stencils. (hey, not all artitsts make everything free-hand:)) You can also see on the wall to the left in the above pic that she has these great candle holders that are "vine" looking, so I added some vines to the pic as well. I'm quite pleased... and especially because it only took me about 3-4 hours to complete. I've never started and finished something at one attempt. I guess I was just in the zone and since I was going to see her the next day I thought it would be super awesome to have it done for her.

I added this one too, for no special reason other than maybe you can see the detail a little better. I couldn't take a non-blurry shot w/o the flash. Shoulda taken one during the day, outside or something. Owell... :)

Moving... stress... belize

I hate the process of moving. I don't know anyone who likes it, unless they like it because you go through things and get rid of junk. Besides that, it just stinks. It doesn't help that I'm leaving for Belize BEFORE the move-in date and will be gone while my dad and bro-in-law move me. I feel awful, but the harder part is packing boxes. I feel that I need to start early because I'll have enough stuff to do trying to get things together for Belize, but I can't really pack up all the boxes until just before I leave, either.
So, that being said, I'm a bit stressed, but I'm in the calm before the storm phase. I'm actually sitting here typing because I'm procrastinating packing. I went and got boxes, and packing tape I just have to get them out of my car. But, really, it doesn't make any sense for me to start now, because I have to leave for church in ten minutes or less. (what was I doing for the last hour since I got home? putsing of course)...
Belize is coming in three short weeks... THREE... ahk... it just doesn't feel like it's coming together. I know it will and it is, but having completely different leadership than I'm used to (Steve/Al) is hard to adjust and feel out. It's strange to think that last year at this point, we were still in Haiti mode. We didn't find out until two weeks before, yet I somehow (though it was HARD to adjust) knew that everything was going to work out. Maybe it's just that Steve has a good way of putting you at ease and letting you know that he's got it under control. So, if anyone feels like praying... that's one thing that I need prayer for... trusting that Scott's really got this together and that we're not forgetting any important parts.

I'm off to church tonite... going up to my sister's in Paynesville to play on the lake... actually I should remember to bring a book because I think they're thinking of fishing mostly. I'm not a HUGE fan of fishing... especially since you have to get a license for like $17 and I won't be doing it very often anyways... owell... I'm sure we'll play in the water too. Anyways... you all have a wonderful Memorial weekend!

"go"

Have you ever gotten a word that resonates, but you don't know exactly what it means?

Last week I was sitting in silence with God just asking questions about what I should do about some certain things. Whenever I do this I try really hard not to have a thought in my head, and if something pops in, I just dismiss it because I know it's just me. Well, that happened again, but this time for some reason it stuck with me and the word was "go." I don't think it means transplanting myself elsewhere... I don't know what it means, i'm still wondering if it was Him... so i'm waiting for Him and trying to quiet myself to listen again...

where you lead me lord, i will follow
where you lead me lord, i will go.
come and lead me lord, i will follow
come and lead me lord, i will go

i will go

A year already...

Last weekend marks a year since last year's wedding bonanza... or "the weddings of '05" that I was asked to stand up in. It was last weekend and this coming weekend that were all a huge amount of fun and at the same time an emotional rollercoaster of sorts.
As I look back on where I was at last year, and where I am now, I see how much those weddings really affected the thoughts that ran through my head. I was constantly thinking about how I'd want my wedding to be and wondering who the person would be accompanying me. The last thought is yet to be determined and I'm learning and coming to know that it won't come in my timing. And that's probably better for all involved :). One thing I've really enjoyed is NOT thinking all about my own wedding and all the other stuff that goes along with them.

Instead, my thoughts have been on wondering what I want to do with my life other than getting married and eventually having a family. Things have been really interesting at work, although being extremely and wildly busy the two weeks before the 3Degrees Band Tourney(which was last week), Guy has been trying to define where his niche is and how to make Vision Van Gogh the most successful. One thing he has realized is that his knowledge of the music industry and how to get bands to maximize their income, is very valuable information. So, he recently recorded the talks he has given at seminars countless times, and will be selling those to generate income in a better way.
Another thing or idea that has been kicked around is the consideration of eliminating the overhead cost of office space. This is what got me thinking a lot about how that would look and what pros and cons it presented. My initial thought honestly was, "sweet, i could wake up at 9 and be to work by 9:30!" :) I know, pathetic... sleeping and waking up in the morning at a consistent time has not been my strong suit lately. Most of you probably would hate me if I told you my schedule, but when there isn't a "time to be at work" it's hard to keep yourself accountable. I did for the first 4yrs or so, and the last couple haven't been so normal... i always put in my time though... but I totally went off on a tangent. Okay...
So, yeah, working from home, an interesting concept that intrigues, yet scares me because keeping a routine is a hard thing for me. And, you'd still really have to keep things organized and professional even though it's at home... yeah, so there are many more pros and cons but I don't feel like sharing all of them since it's not like there has been any decision... mostly just an idea that is fun to think about and ponder for the time being.
This concept opens the door for the possibility of putting more energy into free-lancing. I started thinking about the idea back in dec./jan., but soon found myself feeling overwhelmed with knowing how I'd make time outside of work and then how to get myself out there and like I said... overwhelmed. I didn't think about it again until Guy mentioned this whole working at home and how we'd probably get paid per job instead, etc. I think he even said, "then you guys could do your own stuff too"... The other thing about trying to free lance now is that it would be hard to design at work and then come home and want to do the same thing, I'd get burned out I think.
The other area that I want to explore is painting. Ever since my aunt got me the hook-ups with a huge canvas and painting supplies that her friend of a friend's friend's ex-wife didn't want, I've been loving painting. Even though I don't make enough time for it, whenever I pick up a brush I just love being creative and messing around with different mediums and artistic direction. I've done a few things (besides the big piece of artwork on my living room wall).. a princess castle for my niece, a train for my nephew, a lily for Shannon, and a little set of square paintings for my grandma's bathroom. I've learned though, that it is hard to paint freely when you have a deadline to meet... so when I think of the possibility of maybe trying to start a decorative painting free-lance "company" or whatever you'd call it, I wonder if I would still find the same joy as when I get to just paint whatever I want and do whatever I feel like creating. I guess I just gotta pray about it and figure out what it is He wants me to do with that part of my life.

There you have it, a couple snippets of where my head has been lately. As usual, thanks for bearing with my lack of writing skills. I must depart... but I leave you with a snippet of my weekend:

My niece just turned five a week ago!! We celebrated her "Princess" party saturday afternoon and she looked adorable! My lovely sister sewed her a beautiful Cinderella dress, the blue one with white ruffeled sleeves and white poofy things at the waist! :) She LOVED it, and played the role great! She only cried once the whole day and quickly bouced back after a hug and explanation from mom! (not that she normally cries, but you know the tune, "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to...etc)...

My little Autistic friend

About a month ago I started working on a new cd project for a woman who is in the 3 Degrees Band Tournament. I've only heard her stuff a couple times, and it seems pretty cool. Maybe not my exact taste, but it's decent quality, so that's always a good thing.
The second time she came in to check on things she brought her little boy along. It didn't dawn on me at first, but Guy had told me about this lady before and about her son being autistic. They connected on that point because Guy also has a son who has autism, but is now much older.
This little guy is so fun, I guess he's more on the "savant" side of the autism or however you'd say that. When someone gives him a piano or any instrument he'll just start playing music and he's only about 7 or something.
The first time he came in I gave him this little car/bus that I keep sitting on my desk for times when kids come in. I didn't realize until the next week that he actually accidentally brought it home with him. He walked in the second time and said, "Here's your bus" or something like that.. and "Thanks."
So, yesterday they were in and he keeps saying really fast "Vision Van Gogh, Vision Van Stop" ... LOL... and then the best was "Vision Van Be Careful"... that made me crack up!
Today, they picked up a poster and he kept saying "This is what I'm saying, I'm NOT Going!" Apparently it's from ICE AGE, the first one. His mom was telling him to say something nice if he wanted to talk to me, and whispered something in his ear. He comes over to me and says "You're pretty" and then repeats the Ice Age line again. It was so funny, he's such a cute kid. When he was leaving I said "Good bye, have a good day" and he says "Good bye!! BYE LISA"

okay, I should be working, but I didn't want to forget to post this! It was quick! :)

Bird Flu Hits FL

Tee hee... this was funny to me today! :)
Have a nice weekend everyone..

p.s. for those of you that may have bad eyes, they're PLASTIC flamingos.

(p.s.s. more Cali pics soon to come)

Cali... Easter... Life and Breath

Wow... it's hard to know what all to write... this is random, so I guess I can write whatever... and so here we go... we'll go in order of events..

San Diego, California...
I went to this beautiful place with my roomie Ang, and stayed with her Gr. Aunt and Uncle, which were very "great" but not as in "old"... as in super fun and accomodating and just awesome!
It was so relaxing and wonderful and beautiful and fun... We took the aunt and uncle to Triple Espresso the first day, cuz my really cool friend who's got connections hooked us up with tickets for down there. Thanks man! (though you'll never read this anyways! ha!, but if you happen to, I demand a comment.. tee hee) The second day we went to the beach.. La Jolla (pronounced la hoya)... it was nice, but the temp. was cooler so we didn't even bring out suits. No worries tho, it was nice to be at the beach. This was the day my digi cam got dropped in the sand, DOH! As you can read in my previous posts I was mad, but now it is working again. So, I unfortunately didn't get to take any cool pics at this place down the coast from La Jolla, called Children's Pool. It actually is not for children anymore... it's a little cove and a clan of Seals took it over. It's really cool to see, but the seals are pretty ugly actually... that might sound mean, but they are kinda cute too, if that makes any sense.
Next day, we went to Sea World, saw a Sea Lion show, Dolphin Show, and of course SHAMU or for those of you living under a rug, the Killer Whale (orca) show. The coolest thing (besides Shamu) was this Dolphin interaction site. You could feed and pet the dolphins... it was soo cool. I loved it... i didn't buy fish because we just stood next to a kid who was feeding one and then got to pet it... it was like I said, the coolest thing! I would love to get in a wet suit and have even closer interaction. That was $40 though, and didn't really have the time/cash for that this time around. It would totally be worth it to me though.
The last full day we went back to the beach again, but a different one, Ocean Beach. It was actually (in my opinion) way better.. the openness and ocean feel was awesome. Not to mention that it was finally all bright and sunny... we had the suits on and finally got some good rays to bask in. I also found some cool shells and rocks.
All in all... good times... if we had longer, we might have gone to San Diego Zoo, but walking two days in a row didn't really thrill us, it takes way more out of you than you realize.

Easter and a breath of life felt...
I wanted to take some time to just follow up from the post I made about my sharing in the church service a couple weeks ago. In my post I was really struggling with feeling like I was still in the midst of dying and having a lot of heavy feelings around the whole sharing thing. I had a good day off after that and time to reflect some. After that, I slowly made a transition back into my normal routine and then took off for California. I hadn't thought a lot about it for awhile until someone mentioned it yesterday. Not to mention that Dave reviewed all that we had been going through as a church body in the text, etc. It was a great service, a time to be affirmed that in whatever place I am, it's okay and to remember that ultimately there is hope and LIFE. I am not sure exactly where I am at, but I do feel that life is here and that it has been... but sometimes it's a little blurry and hard to see.
And on that note, my sister just started a blog. (welcome to blogland, sis!) You see, we've both had our own experiences (well, duh), and I find her words so insightful. She's just another one of us who is trying to figure out Life and going through things that are hard, yet seeking with all her might, her God who has loved her from the first day. Why is that concept so hard to grasp and understand?
One more quick thing... on my trip I bought and almost finished reading the book "Blue Like Jazz"... many of my friends are or have read this book... In one of the last chapters it talks about the idea of when you are broght to the point of not understanding and you are at a place of wonder... that is where you can experience the awe and worship of God. I'm not giving this point justice, but if you haven't picked this book up, I'd encourage you to do so.

I think I've rambled on these random things long enough... you know, there not so much random as in that they came out of no-where, but maybe random in being put together in one post. :) okay... later my blogland friends!

I have so much to catch up on, but here are a couple fun pics...


p.s. Yay for my camera... maybe it just needed to be jostled around in traveling and a little warm action in the car yesterday becauase it is working fine now. Woo hoo... (knock on wood)

Home

Well, I'm back, safe and sound... and still on Cali time. It's only 10:48 out there. I'd be just getting ready for bed. Which I just did now here, and should be sleeping because I am going to work tomorrow morning. Silly, I know, but I only have so many vaca. days, and still planning to go to Belize with the youth again this june.
Anyways...
I'm not sure why I'm posting this, other than to procrastinate going to bed and to just let ya'll know I'm back. The unfortunate thing is that it may take a while for me to get pics on here. It was SOOO sad... so the second day, we went to the beach and before we left I had a nice young man take our picture. When I gave him the camera, he DROPPED IT! He was so appologetic, and it was an accident, but DANG! It worked for about 3 or 4 more pictures, but then when I turned it on about twenty minutes later the screen said "Lens Error"... CRAP, that can't be good. I tried to turn it off and the lens shutter wouldn't even close. I was so annoyed the rest of the day. (BIG SIGH) I bought a dumb disposable one for the rest of the time, but it just ain't the same. It was so sweet though, as you'll soon learn more, we stayed with Angela's relatives and her Great Uncle let me use his digital camera one of the days. But, it'll be a little while until he can send them to me. He's retired, but helps out at a church with folk's who need help with their taxes. Needless to say, it's a bit of a busy time. SO.... hopefully I'll be posting back sooner than later, with good news from National Camera Exchange!!! (oh please, God!!!)

Long awaited, much anticipated... vacation

Well, like I said in my story that I shared last week... God always has perfect timing. Little did I know when I planned a trip to San Diego, it would be even more than just a vacation from work. Of course, I'm not running away from my situation, but a vacation from stress never hurt anyone!
It's really nice too, cuz it has been pretty easy going a pace at work, not anything huge I'm leaving for Georgia. She'll thank me later... except I also timed it just right because our favorite client is going to be at the office next week. I think he might not be there as much, I think he's trusting us a bit more lately. If you don't know who that is, or anything about him, well, you've missed out. I deleted the old blogs about him too, just for precautionary reasons. Although, I did save them to my hard drive. :) Anyways...

SAN DIEGO, or bust, baby! I'm ready.... set...
GO!!

(p.s. the title of my blog is the beginning of a line in a John Reuben song... can anyone finish it?? okay, I know... who listens to him anymore? I don't, but i would smile if anyone can humor me. :) )
p.s.s. you can expect to see some pictures of San Diego as well... can't wait to really take advantage of my new or not so new anymore... digital cam!


i just added this for fun. i took it while driving in my car... i know... hazard, but nobody was around... it's in the back roads of champlin/dayton/maple grove

Dying to Live... felt like dying

Breathe peace, Breath your peace on us...
So we might breath you deep...

For those of you who don't know, I shared a part of my story in the service this weekend. If you missed it you can go to Open Door's website and click on This Week's sermon. You can watch it on Quicktime or Window's Media Player, however it may not show up until Mon. or Tues....
Here is the text version of it... if you don't want to wait... (there were four others who shared as well, so I'd encourage you to watch it, they had great things to share as well).

• I love how God works in my life, it's never the same. And it's always in His perfect timing, even when I try and mess it up.
  
  Recently, he has been showing me the places in my life that need cleansing. I didn't know exactly how to start, so I met with the Restoration Through Prayer people here at church. Through that time of prayer and discussion I was able to uncover some feelings of bitterness that I always felt awful about.
  
  The root of those feelings formed in my adolescent years, years when my parents struggled with my sister's rebellion. In those times of battle, I was left alone praying for God to send someone to rescue me or just make the fighting stop. I never recognized the bitterness, because I felt guilty for having those feelings, when my parents and especially my mom didn't mean to neglect my needs. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a parent in that situation.
  
  The Restoration Through Prayer took place just a couple days before the "Dying to Live" sermon. Even though I was able to see and acknowledge the bitterness during that prayer time, I didn't fully know how to let it go, or still didn't know if I wanted to let it go.
  
  During the time of the first sermon I didn't feel I should rush up to bury my seed. I needed time to think about what it was I was actually doing. I wrestled with life that whole week. I knew I needed to share this with my parents, but the winds of resistance blew strong and I didn't put much effort in.
  
  As a result, Sunday morning came and I hadn't met with them, I wondered if I should still go up. As I searched my heart, I realized that it was still something I needed to do, but that in doing so, I still needed to speak to my parents.
  
  So I went up, spent some time at the cross and buried my seed. It wasn't anything magical and I didn't feel an immediate change, but it was the first hard step of death, into becoming more alive.
  
  The next step meant talking to my parents, and this time I planned it right away. Even though I knew they would listen, it was still hard.
  
  But, once I shared those feelings I felt lighter and I knew healing was taking place. It meant for me, that I had fully died to that bitterness and brought light into the dark places of my heart.

Like I said before, this is just the beginning, I know there are more things in my life that need to die, and I am excited for the new life that I believe will grow in me.Being a part of the service this weekend was exhausting, it was very different than I expected. Though I didn't really know what to expect... I didn't realize just how emotinally draining it would be. Part of me, if I'm real honest, feels like the weekend was wasted, though I shouldn't say it like that because it was an incredible time and I know God moved. But, I mean, I didn't get a whole lot done, it's that "I need a vacation from my vacation," feeling, but with the weekend. I guess I need to learn that sometimes it is okay to not get things done. I never pictured myself as a work-a-holic or a task oriented person. Maybe it's just the fact that I didn't get to choose how I spent my time, feels kind of selfish, there were things I wanted to do though. But, I couldn't have done anything different... hmmm... I'm rambling and going off on a tangent... so what else do I want to say?
It was hard.
I honestly thought the hardest part would be the actual speaking, which don't get me wrong it definitely was with fear and trembling that I shared, but the time after second service of knowing it was done was the hardest.
I was just talking to my sister today and I think that it's just that "let-down" feeling. I never knew I'd feel that way... it's not like I was performing and hoping for a good response, honestly it really didn't matter to me. Of course, I did want my friends to support me (which they did), but I wasn't really concerned with how the congregation received it. Al just kept reminding us over and over that it's not about us, it's about God and giving the glory to Him.
(ugh.. side note: I hate my loud and obnoxious neighbors and their LOUD bass... it's giving me a headache... and did last night, too! until i called the cops at 1:30AM-2:30 with time change)
Why is it that it's so hard for me (today) to feel like rejoicing for what He has done in my life, I guess it just still feels like dying. This process is still going on, and I really really just want the life to come.. <> I'm just not feeling it right now...

Dear Jesus,
I know that what you've done in me, this weekend and over the last year has been life changing... and right now I feel the enemy attacking, would you BIND his evil thwarts against me, God!

Blogger Anniversary!

Well, after reading David's blog and reading that it has been a year for him, I realized that I too have marked a year on this blogging journey! Yay, so happy anniversary to me... I'd like to thank a couple of people who inspired me... one is to Glatzel., because I do believe he was the one from whom I received the first notice about this whole "blogworld"... and second to Erin, for cute/funny/absurd(at times) stories that showed me that it doesn't really matter what your blog is about, it's about Just Writing whatever is on your mind.
Looking back it has been an interesting year of posts... a road trip to Chicago... going through the highs and lows of multiple friends getting married, and being in three of them... trying to figure out the whole dating scene and what means what... house-sitting adventures... travels to Belize which were supposed to be Haiti... Gooseberry Falls... My 25th Birthday... and other very random posts true to it's name.
We shall see what this year brings... atleast one thing for sure... I do need a new background for a new year! :)

Have a good night!

Kirby will be missed :(

Wow... I was so surprised at this early death of a childhood baseball hero. I knew he wasn't looking as good, etc, but it's this "immortal hero" mentality I guess. I have so many fond childhood memories of going to a Twins game, sitting in the Cheap Seats and eating Cotton Candy. I bet I went to atleast 3-4 games a year or so as a kid... I bet that's how I learned the Star Spangled banner so well, not to mention "take me out to the ballgame"...
I've never watched a Twins game with the same love since he left, and I probably never will. There was just something about his love of the game and passion on the field, he drew you in and you couldn't not like the guy.
I still have my homer hanky and Kirby Puckett (fake-signed) mini-bat. I loved that thing!

That classic Kirby announcement will live with me forever...



KIIIIRRRRRRRRRBBBEEEEEEEy PU-CKET! (and the crowd goes wild... aaaarrrhhhh aaaawwhhh)

We're gonna Win Twins, We're gonna Score!
We're gonna Win Twins, now watch that baseball sore...
Pound out(?) a HomeRUN shout a HIP HORAY
Cheer for the Minnesota Twins TODAY!

Addiction, Obsession, or just interested in people?

Since the world of computers was opened to me, I was always interested in them. Especially way back when the world wide web was introduced, and AOL... I admit, as a 9th/10th grader I was a HUGE fan of going into "christian" teen chat rooms and meeting people from all over the nation and having random conversations about whether DCTalk's JEsUs FreAk or Newsboy's SHINE was the best "all-time" song thus far... or yelling at some "satan worshipper" who came into the room just to ryle everyone up(and boy did we feed that!)... I sit back and laugh at those times... Well, it took a downward plummet for awhile as more important things (like real friends;)) entered my life, getting a driver's license, and more homework. Although I definitely still kept up with emailing some of these "online friends" I met, and of course other friends as well.

This really does have a point... let me try and get to it before I go off in another direction...
as of late I've realized that I really get hooked to things like this.. blogs, xanga(a more kid type blogger journal thing, I use with my highschoolers), and now myspace. It could be anything... but it's this sort of addiction to see if someone has "commented" me.. or just changing the looks of things all the time... or jumping from person to person to read and see what people are thinking about life and what not. I think it can be a really good thing, but I've noticed that no matter what it is... blogs or myspace or whatever... I get really engrossed and before I know it an hour or so has passed.

So, my question to myself is...
Is the time that I'm spending in front of this screen always the best... even if it is in the name of wanting to hear about other's lives. I think I've begun to answer my question in part... the answer so far is this... there is obviously nothing wrong with wanting to be updated with the lives of others, and wanting to use this technology as a good teaching or relating tool, but if that time is taking over other parts of my life... than I need to stop and change some things.

That is why I haven't been posting as often lately... not to mention the "obsession" of myspace unfortunately took over for awhile. I resisted it for a long time, mostly because it was such a "trendy" thing.. and then I decided to peruze it for a little bit just to see what some of the "so-called" controversy was... and then I was able to get a grasp of it... but then slowly it took over me a little and I realize how people can get "addicted" to it...

So. there you have it. I'm working on getting this all balanced... it's almost as if I've got too many "web" things going. I've decided to spend only a half hour on the internet (at home atleast) per day for Lent... and spend time doing other things that matter... you know like that God thing :) tee hee... jk... but for real. I've definitely waaay exceeded it for today, but I can give myself grace.

Kinda feel silly sharing all this, but that's that.
the end...

(don't worry, i've not gone pyscho and think that this is all evil! :) )

The Second Chance

Okay, now that I've got some time, I can try and give a short review of my opinion of The Second Chance. After getting past the distraction of MWS acting(which wasn't completely awful, just odd seeing him on the screen), I then had to try and stomach the fact that the "whitey" church they portrayed is sadly more common than I want to believe. So, I think it did a good job of representing how evangelical christians tend to throw money at a problem in the inner cities, making themselves "feel-good" because they've just helped the needy. I don't claim to know what the best way is to help in that area... but I know that it's more than just throwing money something. And, I don't know if this movie did any good to say how to do it either. Not sure where I'm going with this anymore. My general feeling was that I'm glad I saw it... it was surprisingly better than I thought... seriously... for a christian movie. It wasn't AS cheesy as ones put out by Billy Graham, etc. (no offense to the man)... and I'd probably watch this one over any of the Left Behind ones (only seen one, and not by my choice... it was enough). It could have had better character developement and a way better ending... but like I said... for me, it was worth seeing.

Hopefully this review wasn't too painful to read through my jumbled thoughts and ramblings...

Update on Raheem

Good news. Raheem is at home and feeling better.

In other news, I went to see "The Second Chance" last night. I'll give it a review soon, just no time right now. I am going to my sister's because they bought a house! Yay.. such a good thing for them, but it's still an hour away... the city is called Paynesville... what a sad name. It's just 10-15mins west of St. Cloud, so atleast they will be close to a major city. Not TOO hick-landish. Well, I must leave, but if you have seen that movie and have any opinions... feel free to leave them here... good, bad... ugly... whatever. :)

lata

Raheem

My dear Raheem who I met this summer in Belize is not doing so well. He has double pnuemonia and the last I heard they didn't know how long he may hold on. So, if you think of it, send a prayer up for him. My prayer:

Lord God,
You are the divine healer, and I pray your healing hand would touch Raheem, let him not suffer any longer. Whatever that means Lord, your will be done...

Amen

I've been a Valentine's grinch most of the day... but I thought I'd show a little spirit and have fun with it... so here's my greeting to you all in blogland! Hope you had a lovely day(now that it 's actually over... i'm up late as usual)

SUPERbowl!

Hello again out there in blogland! It has been awhile since I've gone for over two weeks without a post. I just haven't had an urge to post or known what to post about. Well, tonight I had a great idea because of the Superbowl... everyone who watched the Superbowl has SOMEthing to say about it... even myself who doesn't usually sit down to watch a game, unless there is some sort of gathering. FOr me, the draw was mostly for the commercials... I guess I'm a bit of the typical female or stereotypical female when it comes to that. I have to say though, this year I actually got into the game... the party I was at had most people rooting for the SeaHawks, so I naturally took the side of the Steelers, for some good competition. The thing is, I actually really can get into it when there are great plays to be seen, and for me, I'd say this game had some pretty great moments! So... Congrats STEELERS! :)

The best two commercials this year for me were...
Budweiser commercial with the streaking sheep/lamb! That was fricken hilarious!!
and
MAC GYVER mastercard comercial!! (sp?) That was Awesome... wouldn't have ever thought of that. (the whole time I was thinking/hoping that Erin should be watching this!! )

Brown and Bubbly Pepsi commercial get's the "so stupid, it unfortunately made me chuckle at the end" award, but that's just my opinion.

So, there you have it... did anyone else have a favorite commercial or moment in the game?

A TRIBUTE TO SCOTT! and "The Office" Obsession

Our dear friend and co-worker Scott announced to us last friday that he is moving on from VVG. The reasons definitely make sense, and he will be greatly missed, and never forgotten for the many qualities and successes he brought to our team. One of those things was being influential in the decision to use a new printer for our large run CD booklet/traycard printing. Just one of the small things he added to the company... so to honor him on his last day(tomorrow, friday), "the design team" (and Angela, our production superstar) we wanted to give him a fun surprise... so, VOILA... (post-its and tinfoil are so handy! I think we may need to order some more)

Before/After

(I was in a wierd mood all day! it's not all that abnormal tho)

(although it's not a 100% new idea, we took this on to a superb, if I do say so myself, level of creativity!)

I'm sure this day will be a most memorable one for him... i think the preparation has been half the fun already... this is definitely in my top 5 favorite memories of VVG!

WE LOVE YOU SCOTT... you will be missed by all very much!
-----

And now on to "The Office" obsession... oh, you thought the previous story was my obsession... not in the least, although as I said... very fun and sad (i will say it did inspire some notes/quotes on the post-its). My new favorite sitcom is The Office, and I know I'm not the only one who digs it, but seriously I wonder if I'm the only one who laughs out loud multiple times during each episode. I really can't get enough of it, and to fill in the void of when I'm waiting from one week to the next to watch, there is even a website with fun features. One such feature is a blog from Dwight... it's his actual character posting blogs. I just discovered this today while searching for more quotes for my post-its. I am going to have to catch up... one of the latest ones was his reaction to LOST, the episode about Eko(sp?). What fun! I think you all should link up to this and check it out, you'll get some good laughs, especially if you work in an office setting.

Balanced!

One thing I hate most in life is balancing my checkbook... I finally got a new checking account and things seemed to be going fairly well, until I made a couple stupid mistakes and made myself get overdrawn because I transfered money to a diff. account before I should have.(forgive my run-on sentence) It was so frustrating because I had the money... it just wasn't in the right account! GRR! I really don't know what I was thinking. So, for the last week I relied on my credit card until things just leveled out again. Thank Goodness for Online Banking!
I had to set everything straight in my checkbook tonite and wanted to make sure it all balanced out. I was nervous as I wrote everything in and started calculating... the first time through, it came up unbalanced, but I remembered a couple things and re-calculated and VOILA! Perfect Match! How Beautiful life is when those things check off right, makes me want to do a little dance that I did it right, without having to call my dad and ask... "Okay, so do I add the deposits or subtract them... I always forget?" I Remembered myself... (pat on the back)... this seems like a silly thing to post, but I haven't had a statement balance out like that for atleast a year. That makes me smile! :)

Oh, and this past weekend was the Sr. High Winter retreat at Timber Bay Bible Camp... it was a great weekend! Here's a couple pictures... sunsets, broomball, and a somewhat creative pic for ya.

(as you can see, to the right of this picture, someone wiped out... it was WAY slippery!)
(careful getting up, Gary!)It is so beautiful and peaceful up-north!

grrr

Haiti is cancelled...

Lord, I don't understand sometimes... but well, life has never always been easy to understand... so why should it change now!

excerpt from "Foreverandever etc." by David Crowder

I think I'm on the brink of something large
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn
Or maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship
Letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be
I am Yours

definitely random... news... blogger books... snowmen..

• New anchor on Kare 11... Who is this Mike guy anyways?
I've been a pretty loyal fan to Kare11 for most of my news-watching life, which I'd say is about 10-15years or so. I don't consistently watch the news, but when I can, I do and it's just not the same if it's not Kare11. So, when all this change started with Ken Barlow and Frank Vascellero leaving, I have to admit I was a little disapointed. So, I'm skeptical of this new Mike Pomeranz, but he seems to be pretty MN saavy, etc... check out his bio on www.kare11.com, and see for yourself :).

• Blogging Book at Borders...
I was strolling through Borders tonight, looking at some Graphic Design and Web Design books, and as I skimmed the shelves my eye caught a book with the title put simply "Blogging." It made me laugh because I wondered who needed a book about Blogging, it's pretty easy to set up with the step by step instructions. Despite my initial mocking, I picked it up and began to skim the pages. I surprised myself in thinking, hmm, should I get this?... this thought came to me because I still have yet to figure out how to get a fricken picture on my profile page. It's easy to get them into the body of a post, but they make you go through a bunch of rig-a-ma-roll for the profile pic. Why do I need a photo hosting site, JUST for a picture on my profile? Picasa/Hello or whatever that thing is doesn't work for Macs... (stupid) and I can't seem to get it to connect to my .mac homepage which holds a few pictures. WHATEVER... I didn't buy it though, because I knew I wouldn't use all the info in it for what it was worth. It was interesting to realize that Blogging has been around long enough for a book to be published about it. It seems I'm a wee babe in this blogging world... always learning :).

• Snowmen
I just thought I'd share my snowman story. It's not that exciting, but just thought I'd leave you with a laugh...
I took the day off friday, and as all of the Minnesotans know, we got a beautiful new layer of fluffy white and wet snow to add to our already pretty large portion. Every other time it has snowed this year, when it was really good sticky snow, I've been at work or been really busy. Whenever I'm at work I say (sometimes aloud even) I just want to go home and make a snowman. I went about my day doing mostly mundane things, until I was driving back from Target and remembered my thought of the previous snowfalls... I just want to make a snowman. I questioned myself, it I really would find it fun... especially doing this all alone, but I went inside (waited for the snowplow guys to leave) put my snow gear on and, yes, made a snowman. This turned out to be a lovely snowman, though I had to be creative with the detailing... black olives for eyes, a carrot nose and celery for arms. The olives were not so fun to make stick for the eyes, so I couldn't imagine trying to make a mouth out of them. Instead, being the painter I am, I got out my tempera paints and put a red smile on him. Of course he also has a hat on his head, a scarf, and mittens on the ends of his extremities. (though one slid off because the celery drooped already) :(

With that, I'm signing off... the moral of the last story is... "You're never too old to be a kid!"

Updates...

Hello folks! Now that the letters are out, I thought I'd break the news onto this blog as well! I'm going back to Haiti... YIpeEE! So, if you want more info, etc... or a letter in that case, email me/post a comment or hop on over to www.haitijournal.blogspot.com

I will be trying to keep that blog updated with thoughts and prayers about this new journey(yet, not so new in my heart :))

In other news...
I bought a digital camera (gulp, an overwhelming process)... I like it... I think... it's such a big purchase, but it's one of those small Nikon Coolpix cameras... it feels too small to really take decent pictures. But as in other areas of life I should remind myself... size doesn't always matter! :) It's got 5.1 megapixels and 3x zoom, and a Lithium/Ion battery... I was going to get this other one that seemed a bit more sturdy, but you had to buy a battery charger and AA rechargable batteries too... an extra 30bucks... that one had 5x zoom, but I just don't think I use zoom enough anyways. And, this one I got seems to do pretty well... although when I try to shoot with the Macro mode with no flash, it wigs out and a "steady camera" icon blinks. I even set it on the table and shot the object and it still wouldn't go away. Annoying! So, I'll have to figure that one out, and I got free passes to the classes that National Camera gives, so that'll be good. Here are a couple fun shots I took while playing with it last night.

I think this one was actually without the macro setting on, and auto flash... not bad I guess. I wish I could have gotten outside to take some wintry snow shots, but the day just got away from me. Bummer! Owell... that's all for now.

Have a Happy New Year ya'll!

cherry coke! :)

A couple blogs back I mentioned a cool picture of a cherry coke.
Let me tell you, I'm usually all about lots of cherries, but I didn't want anymore cherries for a long time after that... there were probably 6 more down inside the drink that you can't even see!

(for a reminder of the blog click here and read para. 4)

and the icecream sundae...

So, that was my time at TGIFridays, I sure left with a full stomach!











I didn't mention anything in the birthday blog about my experience at "The Shout House"... it's a piano bar in Block E in Minneapolis... a dueling piano bar, actually! You can put in requests, etc, and of course they caught word that it was my birthday. So, they had me and another girl whose birthday it was, come up and sit on the piano. Then, they called up all the "single guys" of the place to come and sing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'"... hmm... as the picture shows... I was a bit embarassed, especially since it took half the song for any of my friends to come up... well, now that I think of it, only one in attendance was single, but he dragged a couple others up with him.













This is another picture at the Shout House of Heather, my old roomate, and the piano player doing the "actions" to Grease Lightning. She happened to stand up and do them right by the table, so he saw her and couldn't help but make her get up on stage, since she was already standing and doing them. It was pretty hilarious!

I Celebrate the Day... by Relient K

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to
let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me,
in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that
You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the
things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

I really like this song, it really made me think of things a bit differently. The whole disk is actually really good... It's called "Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hands" The title made me laugh! :) Most of the carols on this disk are in Relient K goofy fun style, except this one and maybe one or two others.

A Cave...

This weekend in church we heard from a speaker(I forget her name, sorry), a friend of Jan Bros'... she talked about times of being in the dark and how we often run from those times. I think I have been doing that for the last couple of weeks.
It is good to be told not to run, but to acknowledge what it is, and wait. The question she asked close to the end was, "What are you waiting for?"
The answer to that question, I'm not sure right now...

if nothing else... waiting to not feel like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions.

pondering this for now...

Reflections on my day

Today started out pretty normal, pulled myself outta bed about 7:29am, took a shower, got ready and the whole bit. I wondered if anyone would call me this morning with birthday wishes, but nope. Okay, no big deal.
I drove to work and as I pulled into the parking lot I could feel myself get really overwhelmed with tears... I shook it off and a little while into the workday I got my first phone call... it was my 4 year old niece, Sarah! "Hello Antie Lisa... pause (overhearing sis's voice, "remember what you were going to say?").. Happy Birthday!" I say thank you and she proceeds to tell me how she went to the store with mommy and they got strawberry and cherry and green apple gum, and that Joshy(who is going to be 3 in January) was eating some and she was eating some. Cute, and then she asks, "Antie, when are you going to come to my house and see me?" I said hopefully soon, and she replies "Okay, you have to come so you can have some of my gum."
How cute is that... I love that the coolest thing for her was getting gum at the store and hoping that I would come soon so she could share it with me. She tried handing the phone to Joshua, but he only does things on his terms these days.. he'll only do it if it was his idea from the beginning. :) No biggie (boys... sometimes they just never change... tee hee... jk) I ended the phone call with my sister who was driving and had Joshua now complaining about something Sarah had done.
Got back to work after that... Mom called and said Happy Birthday... Always nice to hear your mom's voice on your birthday. Georgia finally got to work around 10:30ish and we chatted for a bit. She's always great at making you feel special... she happened to tell/remind(although she denies it) a few of our common friends that it was my birthday. That was sweet, so randomly throughout the day a got some emails and text messages from those ppl. One of the calls was from her older brother Joe, he's somebody who I often just joke around with because he's so easy to pick on. He never calls for me, so when I picked up and said hello and he said who it was, I knew it was because Georgia told him it was my bday. I quickly answered, "Well, hi Joe, how are you?" With a bit of sarcasm in my voice, and he responds by saying "You sound a little sassy today" I said, "Sassy?" He said, "Yeah, but I hear it's your birthday, so it's okay"... what a randomly funny kid. Anyways... I don't know why I told that story... but it just stuck out as funny to me.
We went to lunch at TGIFriday's and of course they told the waitress it was my birthday. I forget that they like to tie balloons all over you... in fact each server comes with two and ties them on. Good thing it wasn't dinner time, or they'd have way more servers on. It was a nice lunch and really got me in a good mood... it helped that the waitress put about 12 cherries in my cherry coke. (which I got a sweet digital pic of that I'm hoping to post in the near future) We then went to Avant Garden, the best coffee shop in downtown Anoka, and I'd have to say maybe even in Minnesota! :) The coolest part about going there was that I saw my good old friend from my old church, Brooke, her birthday is Dec. 3rd... and we always remembered our birthdays... so immediately when she saw me she said "Happy Birthday" and I said "Happy Birthday to you in two days!" It was pretty cool... we caught up quick and then she had to leave.

(sorry this is getting long)

We got back to work and I got a couple other calls and what not... but I just have to say a couple cool things that happened out of my control that were just cool. For the last couple years there hasn't been a whole lot of snow on my birthday, so I told a couple people and just thought to myself that it would be fun to have snow on my birthday. Yay, it snowed before my birthday... and even better there was a pretty snowfall off and on all day out my window. It was something small, and I would've lived without it, but it happened.
Cool thing number two came in a very odd way. You see... I really love flowers, especially roses. About three months ago or so, for some reason I just got it in my head that all I really wanted for my birthday was to get flowers or roses from someone, anyone, well someone I knew atleast. There really isn't that special someone who I knew I might get any from, so coming up to my day I knew it would be pretty unlikely. It wasn't like I was going to tell my mom or anyone... hey can you have my dad or can you have someone get me flowers. That would be silly and not mean anything... so whatever. I was sitting at my desk today and would randomly think about the flowers and kept telling myself, it's not going to happen and that's really okay. I have all these people who care and love me, that really is enough. Well, the four o'clock hour rolled around and I was leaving at 5pm... not much left to do, but wait for this one guy to pick up some postcards and print some posters, etc. As I was checking the printer, the guy who was picking up his posters came around the corner. He knew it was my birthday because he was supposed to come at 2 and pick up then, but was told we were going out to lunch for my birthday. Paul is his name, and he is a counselor and now author of the book he is having us(me) design. A very thoughtful and "counselor" type person, always giving a lot of affirmation of the designs I've done, etc. (sometimes too much... but he's married with children, so don't think this is wierd)... So, back to today... he came around the corner and said Happy Birthday... and had some sort of flower(s) to give me. I was floored... it felt wierd at first, I kept telling him it was so unnecessary, but thanked him kindly. I finally brought it back to my desk and opened it... a single White Rose!! It took me a minute to realize what and who it really was from...
Thanks God...

I've said things before about not liking the word "blessing" and over spiritualizing things... but this... I can't explain it... I truly believe that Paul was just the messenger/catalyst. It wasn't going to appear out of no where... He cares... he cares about the little things... and the big things.

I also have to give a big shout out to Angela... she doesn't have time to read this, but I know she has been trying her best to make this a good birthday for me. We went to PF Chang's tonite and had a lovely dinner... and then we went to Express so I could find something fun to wear tomorrow night... Going to The Shout House... and what do you know... I had a gift card from awhile back that had $20 on it, I had totally forgotten about it, and I originally got a 10dollar off card from them for my birthday... sweet!! :)

So... yes... the big 2-5... it was a good day...
love to all...

It's official... the big 2-5

hmm... well, I was just lying in bed trying to fall asleep and I couldn't. Tomorrow(or today, rather) is the looming birthday... my quarter life birthday has come and sometimes it feels a little depressing. I'm not going to wallow in it or anything... but I'm on the closer end to being thirty than I am to being twenty. Yes, I know, I'm young... not married and no kids... I'm free to make my decisions independently. So, that's what I'm focusing on... and beginning to make some new goals for myself... where I want to be in five years from now....

• close to or already have bought my own house

• quite possibly be all free-lancing in design or decorative painting on walls... or canvas

• have taken a trip to Europe?!

hmm... i know there are more... but now my brain is definitely shutting down... maybe I can hit they hay now...

asta la vista