Cali... Easter... Life and Breath

Wow... it's hard to know what all to write... this is random, so I guess I can write whatever... and so here we go... we'll go in order of events..

San Diego, California...
I went to this beautiful place with my roomie Ang, and stayed with her Gr. Aunt and Uncle, which were very "great" but not as in "old"... as in super fun and accomodating and just awesome!
It was so relaxing and wonderful and beautiful and fun... We took the aunt and uncle to Triple Espresso the first day, cuz my really cool friend who's got connections hooked us up with tickets for down there. Thanks man! (though you'll never read this anyways! ha!, but if you happen to, I demand a comment.. tee hee) The second day we went to the beach.. La Jolla (pronounced la hoya)... it was nice, but the temp. was cooler so we didn't even bring out suits. No worries tho, it was nice to be at the beach. This was the day my digi cam got dropped in the sand, DOH! As you can read in my previous posts I was mad, but now it is working again. So, I unfortunately didn't get to take any cool pics at this place down the coast from La Jolla, called Children's Pool. It actually is not for children anymore... it's a little cove and a clan of Seals took it over. It's really cool to see, but the seals are pretty ugly actually... that might sound mean, but they are kinda cute too, if that makes any sense.
Next day, we went to Sea World, saw a Sea Lion show, Dolphin Show, and of course SHAMU or for those of you living under a rug, the Killer Whale (orca) show. The coolest thing (besides Shamu) was this Dolphin interaction site. You could feed and pet the dolphins... it was soo cool. I loved it... i didn't buy fish because we just stood next to a kid who was feeding one and then got to pet it... it was like I said, the coolest thing! I would love to get in a wet suit and have even closer interaction. That was $40 though, and didn't really have the time/cash for that this time around. It would totally be worth it to me though.
The last full day we went back to the beach again, but a different one, Ocean Beach. It was actually (in my opinion) way better.. the openness and ocean feel was awesome. Not to mention that it was finally all bright and sunny... we had the suits on and finally got some good rays to bask in. I also found some cool shells and rocks.
All in all... good times... if we had longer, we might have gone to San Diego Zoo, but walking two days in a row didn't really thrill us, it takes way more out of you than you realize.

Easter and a breath of life felt...
I wanted to take some time to just follow up from the post I made about my sharing in the church service a couple weeks ago. In my post I was really struggling with feeling like I was still in the midst of dying and having a lot of heavy feelings around the whole sharing thing. I had a good day off after that and time to reflect some. After that, I slowly made a transition back into my normal routine and then took off for California. I hadn't thought a lot about it for awhile until someone mentioned it yesterday. Not to mention that Dave reviewed all that we had been going through as a church body in the text, etc. It was a great service, a time to be affirmed that in whatever place I am, it's okay and to remember that ultimately there is hope and LIFE. I am not sure exactly where I am at, but I do feel that life is here and that it has been... but sometimes it's a little blurry and hard to see.
And on that note, my sister just started a blog. (welcome to blogland, sis!) You see, we've both had our own experiences (well, duh), and I find her words so insightful. She's just another one of us who is trying to figure out Life and going through things that are hard, yet seeking with all her might, her God who has loved her from the first day. Why is that concept so hard to grasp and understand?
One more quick thing... on my trip I bought and almost finished reading the book "Blue Like Jazz"... many of my friends are or have read this book... In one of the last chapters it talks about the idea of when you are broght to the point of not understanding and you are at a place of wonder... that is where you can experience the awe and worship of God. I'm not giving this point justice, but if you haven't picked this book up, I'd encourage you to do so.

I think I've rambled on these random things long enough... you know, there not so much random as in that they came out of no-where, but maybe random in being put together in one post. :) okay... later my blogland friends!

I have so much to catch up on, but here are a couple fun pics...


p.s. Yay for my camera... maybe it just needed to be jostled around in traveling and a little warm action in the car yesterday becauase it is working fine now. Woo hoo... (knock on wood)

Home

Well, I'm back, safe and sound... and still on Cali time. It's only 10:48 out there. I'd be just getting ready for bed. Which I just did now here, and should be sleeping because I am going to work tomorrow morning. Silly, I know, but I only have so many vaca. days, and still planning to go to Belize with the youth again this june.
Anyways...
I'm not sure why I'm posting this, other than to procrastinate going to bed and to just let ya'll know I'm back. The unfortunate thing is that it may take a while for me to get pics on here. It was SOOO sad... so the second day, we went to the beach and before we left I had a nice young man take our picture. When I gave him the camera, he DROPPED IT! He was so appologetic, and it was an accident, but DANG! It worked for about 3 or 4 more pictures, but then when I turned it on about twenty minutes later the screen said "Lens Error"... CRAP, that can't be good. I tried to turn it off and the lens shutter wouldn't even close. I was so annoyed the rest of the day. (BIG SIGH) I bought a dumb disposable one for the rest of the time, but it just ain't the same. It was so sweet though, as you'll soon learn more, we stayed with Angela's relatives and her Great Uncle let me use his digital camera one of the days. But, it'll be a little while until he can send them to me. He's retired, but helps out at a church with folk's who need help with their taxes. Needless to say, it's a bit of a busy time. SO.... hopefully I'll be posting back sooner than later, with good news from National Camera Exchange!!! (oh please, God!!!)

Long awaited, much anticipated... vacation

Well, like I said in my story that I shared last week... God always has perfect timing. Little did I know when I planned a trip to San Diego, it would be even more than just a vacation from work. Of course, I'm not running away from my situation, but a vacation from stress never hurt anyone!
It's really nice too, cuz it has been pretty easy going a pace at work, not anything huge I'm leaving for Georgia. She'll thank me later... except I also timed it just right because our favorite client is going to be at the office next week. I think he might not be there as much, I think he's trusting us a bit more lately. If you don't know who that is, or anything about him, well, you've missed out. I deleted the old blogs about him too, just for precautionary reasons. Although, I did save them to my hard drive. :) Anyways...

SAN DIEGO, or bust, baby! I'm ready.... set...
GO!!

(p.s. the title of my blog is the beginning of a line in a John Reuben song... can anyone finish it?? okay, I know... who listens to him anymore? I don't, but i would smile if anyone can humor me. :) )
p.s.s. you can expect to see some pictures of San Diego as well... can't wait to really take advantage of my new or not so new anymore... digital cam!


i just added this for fun. i took it while driving in my car... i know... hazard, but nobody was around... it's in the back roads of champlin/dayton/maple grove

Dying to Live... felt like dying

Breathe peace, Breath your peace on us...
So we might breath you deep...

For those of you who don't know, I shared a part of my story in the service this weekend. If you missed it you can go to Open Door's website and click on This Week's sermon. You can watch it on Quicktime or Window's Media Player, however it may not show up until Mon. or Tues....
Here is the text version of it... if you don't want to wait... (there were four others who shared as well, so I'd encourage you to watch it, they had great things to share as well).

• I love how God works in my life, it's never the same. And it's always in His perfect timing, even when I try and mess it up.
  
  Recently, he has been showing me the places in my life that need cleansing. I didn't know exactly how to start, so I met with the Restoration Through Prayer people here at church. Through that time of prayer and discussion I was able to uncover some feelings of bitterness that I always felt awful about.
  
  The root of those feelings formed in my adolescent years, years when my parents struggled with my sister's rebellion. In those times of battle, I was left alone praying for God to send someone to rescue me or just make the fighting stop. I never recognized the bitterness, because I felt guilty for having those feelings, when my parents and especially my mom didn't mean to neglect my needs. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a parent in that situation.
  
  The Restoration Through Prayer took place just a couple days before the "Dying to Live" sermon. Even though I was able to see and acknowledge the bitterness during that prayer time, I didn't fully know how to let it go, or still didn't know if I wanted to let it go.
  
  During the time of the first sermon I didn't feel I should rush up to bury my seed. I needed time to think about what it was I was actually doing. I wrestled with life that whole week. I knew I needed to share this with my parents, but the winds of resistance blew strong and I didn't put much effort in.
  
  As a result, Sunday morning came and I hadn't met with them, I wondered if I should still go up. As I searched my heart, I realized that it was still something I needed to do, but that in doing so, I still needed to speak to my parents.
  
  So I went up, spent some time at the cross and buried my seed. It wasn't anything magical and I didn't feel an immediate change, but it was the first hard step of death, into becoming more alive.
  
  The next step meant talking to my parents, and this time I planned it right away. Even though I knew they would listen, it was still hard.
  
  But, once I shared those feelings I felt lighter and I knew healing was taking place. It meant for me, that I had fully died to that bitterness and brought light into the dark places of my heart.

Like I said before, this is just the beginning, I know there are more things in my life that need to die, and I am excited for the new life that I believe will grow in me.Being a part of the service this weekend was exhausting, it was very different than I expected. Though I didn't really know what to expect... I didn't realize just how emotinally draining it would be. Part of me, if I'm real honest, feels like the weekend was wasted, though I shouldn't say it like that because it was an incredible time and I know God moved. But, I mean, I didn't get a whole lot done, it's that "I need a vacation from my vacation," feeling, but with the weekend. I guess I need to learn that sometimes it is okay to not get things done. I never pictured myself as a work-a-holic or a task oriented person. Maybe it's just the fact that I didn't get to choose how I spent my time, feels kind of selfish, there were things I wanted to do though. But, I couldn't have done anything different... hmmm... I'm rambling and going off on a tangent... so what else do I want to say?
It was hard.
I honestly thought the hardest part would be the actual speaking, which don't get me wrong it definitely was with fear and trembling that I shared, but the time after second service of knowing it was done was the hardest.
I was just talking to my sister today and I think that it's just that "let-down" feeling. I never knew I'd feel that way... it's not like I was performing and hoping for a good response, honestly it really didn't matter to me. Of course, I did want my friends to support me (which they did), but I wasn't really concerned with how the congregation received it. Al just kept reminding us over and over that it's not about us, it's about God and giving the glory to Him.
(ugh.. side note: I hate my loud and obnoxious neighbors and their LOUD bass... it's giving me a headache... and did last night, too! until i called the cops at 1:30AM-2:30 with time change)
Why is it that it's so hard for me (today) to feel like rejoicing for what He has done in my life, I guess it just still feels like dying. This process is still going on, and I really really just want the life to come.. <> I'm just not feeling it right now...

Dear Jesus,
I know that what you've done in me, this weekend and over the last year has been life changing... and right now I feel the enemy attacking, would you BIND his evil thwarts against me, God!

Blogger Anniversary!

Well, after reading David's blog and reading that it has been a year for him, I realized that I too have marked a year on this blogging journey! Yay, so happy anniversary to me... I'd like to thank a couple of people who inspired me... one is to Glatzel., because I do believe he was the one from whom I received the first notice about this whole "blogworld"... and second to Erin, for cute/funny/absurd(at times) stories that showed me that it doesn't really matter what your blog is about, it's about Just Writing whatever is on your mind.
Looking back it has been an interesting year of posts... a road trip to Chicago... going through the highs and lows of multiple friends getting married, and being in three of them... trying to figure out the whole dating scene and what means what... house-sitting adventures... travels to Belize which were supposed to be Haiti... Gooseberry Falls... My 25th Birthday... and other very random posts true to it's name.
We shall see what this year brings... atleast one thing for sure... I do need a new background for a new year! :)

Have a good night!

Kirby will be missed :(

Wow... I was so surprised at this early death of a childhood baseball hero. I knew he wasn't looking as good, etc, but it's this "immortal hero" mentality I guess. I have so many fond childhood memories of going to a Twins game, sitting in the Cheap Seats and eating Cotton Candy. I bet I went to atleast 3-4 games a year or so as a kid... I bet that's how I learned the Star Spangled banner so well, not to mention "take me out to the ballgame"...
I've never watched a Twins game with the same love since he left, and I probably never will. There was just something about his love of the game and passion on the field, he drew you in and you couldn't not like the guy.
I still have my homer hanky and Kirby Puckett (fake-signed) mini-bat. I loved that thing!

That classic Kirby announcement will live with me forever...



KIIIIRRRRRRRRRBBBEEEEEEEy PU-CKET! (and the crowd goes wild... aaaarrrhhhh aaaawwhhh)

We're gonna Win Twins, We're gonna Score!
We're gonna Win Twins, now watch that baseball sore...
Pound out(?) a HomeRUN shout a HIP HORAY
Cheer for the Minnesota Twins TODAY!

Addiction, Obsession, or just interested in people?

Since the world of computers was opened to me, I was always interested in them. Especially way back when the world wide web was introduced, and AOL... I admit, as a 9th/10th grader I was a HUGE fan of going into "christian" teen chat rooms and meeting people from all over the nation and having random conversations about whether DCTalk's JEsUs FreAk or Newsboy's SHINE was the best "all-time" song thus far... or yelling at some "satan worshipper" who came into the room just to ryle everyone up(and boy did we feed that!)... I sit back and laugh at those times... Well, it took a downward plummet for awhile as more important things (like real friends;)) entered my life, getting a driver's license, and more homework. Although I definitely still kept up with emailing some of these "online friends" I met, and of course other friends as well.

This really does have a point... let me try and get to it before I go off in another direction...
as of late I've realized that I really get hooked to things like this.. blogs, xanga(a more kid type blogger journal thing, I use with my highschoolers), and now myspace. It could be anything... but it's this sort of addiction to see if someone has "commented" me.. or just changing the looks of things all the time... or jumping from person to person to read and see what people are thinking about life and what not. I think it can be a really good thing, but I've noticed that no matter what it is... blogs or myspace or whatever... I get really engrossed and before I know it an hour or so has passed.

So, my question to myself is...
Is the time that I'm spending in front of this screen always the best... even if it is in the name of wanting to hear about other's lives. I think I've begun to answer my question in part... the answer so far is this... there is obviously nothing wrong with wanting to be updated with the lives of others, and wanting to use this technology as a good teaching or relating tool, but if that time is taking over other parts of my life... than I need to stop and change some things.

That is why I haven't been posting as often lately... not to mention the "obsession" of myspace unfortunately took over for awhile. I resisted it for a long time, mostly because it was such a "trendy" thing.. and then I decided to peruze it for a little bit just to see what some of the "so-called" controversy was... and then I was able to get a grasp of it... but then slowly it took over me a little and I realize how people can get "addicted" to it...

So. there you have it. I'm working on getting this all balanced... it's almost as if I've got too many "web" things going. I've decided to spend only a half hour on the internet (at home atleast) per day for Lent... and spend time doing other things that matter... you know like that God thing :) tee hee... jk... but for real. I've definitely waaay exceeded it for today, but I can give myself grace.

Kinda feel silly sharing all this, but that's that.
the end...

(don't worry, i've not gone pyscho and think that this is all evil! :) )

The Second Chance

Okay, now that I've got some time, I can try and give a short review of my opinion of The Second Chance. After getting past the distraction of MWS acting(which wasn't completely awful, just odd seeing him on the screen), I then had to try and stomach the fact that the "whitey" church they portrayed is sadly more common than I want to believe. So, I think it did a good job of representing how evangelical christians tend to throw money at a problem in the inner cities, making themselves "feel-good" because they've just helped the needy. I don't claim to know what the best way is to help in that area... but I know that it's more than just throwing money something. And, I don't know if this movie did any good to say how to do it either. Not sure where I'm going with this anymore. My general feeling was that I'm glad I saw it... it was surprisingly better than I thought... seriously... for a christian movie. It wasn't AS cheesy as ones put out by Billy Graham, etc. (no offense to the man)... and I'd probably watch this one over any of the Left Behind ones (only seen one, and not by my choice... it was enough). It could have had better character developement and a way better ending... but like I said... for me, it was worth seeing.

Hopefully this review wasn't too painful to read through my jumbled thoughts and ramblings...

Update on Raheem

Good news. Raheem is at home and feeling better.

In other news, I went to see "The Second Chance" last night. I'll give it a review soon, just no time right now. I am going to my sister's because they bought a house! Yay.. such a good thing for them, but it's still an hour away... the city is called Paynesville... what a sad name. It's just 10-15mins west of St. Cloud, so atleast they will be close to a major city. Not TOO hick-landish. Well, I must leave, but if you have seen that movie and have any opinions... feel free to leave them here... good, bad... ugly... whatever. :)

lata

Raheem

My dear Raheem who I met this summer in Belize is not doing so well. He has double pnuemonia and the last I heard they didn't know how long he may hold on. So, if you think of it, send a prayer up for him. My prayer:

Lord God,
You are the divine healer, and I pray your healing hand would touch Raheem, let him not suffer any longer. Whatever that means Lord, your will be done...

Amen

I've been a Valentine's grinch most of the day... but I thought I'd show a little spirit and have fun with it... so here's my greeting to you all in blogland! Hope you had a lovely day(now that it 's actually over... i'm up late as usual)

SUPERbowl!

Hello again out there in blogland! It has been awhile since I've gone for over two weeks without a post. I just haven't had an urge to post or known what to post about. Well, tonight I had a great idea because of the Superbowl... everyone who watched the Superbowl has SOMEthing to say about it... even myself who doesn't usually sit down to watch a game, unless there is some sort of gathering. FOr me, the draw was mostly for the commercials... I guess I'm a bit of the typical female or stereotypical female when it comes to that. I have to say though, this year I actually got into the game... the party I was at had most people rooting for the SeaHawks, so I naturally took the side of the Steelers, for some good competition. The thing is, I actually really can get into it when there are great plays to be seen, and for me, I'd say this game had some pretty great moments! So... Congrats STEELERS! :)

The best two commercials this year for me were...
Budweiser commercial with the streaking sheep/lamb! That was fricken hilarious!!
and
MAC GYVER mastercard comercial!! (sp?) That was Awesome... wouldn't have ever thought of that. (the whole time I was thinking/hoping that Erin should be watching this!! )

Brown and Bubbly Pepsi commercial get's the "so stupid, it unfortunately made me chuckle at the end" award, but that's just my opinion.

So, there you have it... did anyone else have a favorite commercial or moment in the game?

A TRIBUTE TO SCOTT! and "The Office" Obsession

Our dear friend and co-worker Scott announced to us last friday that he is moving on from VVG. The reasons definitely make sense, and he will be greatly missed, and never forgotten for the many qualities and successes he brought to our team. One of those things was being influential in the decision to use a new printer for our large run CD booklet/traycard printing. Just one of the small things he added to the company... so to honor him on his last day(tomorrow, friday), "the design team" (and Angela, our production superstar) we wanted to give him a fun surprise... so, VOILA... (post-its and tinfoil are so handy! I think we may need to order some more)

Before/After

(I was in a wierd mood all day! it's not all that abnormal tho)

(although it's not a 100% new idea, we took this on to a superb, if I do say so myself, level of creativity!)

I'm sure this day will be a most memorable one for him... i think the preparation has been half the fun already... this is definitely in my top 5 favorite memories of VVG!

WE LOVE YOU SCOTT... you will be missed by all very much!
-----

And now on to "The Office" obsession... oh, you thought the previous story was my obsession... not in the least, although as I said... very fun and sad (i will say it did inspire some notes/quotes on the post-its). My new favorite sitcom is The Office, and I know I'm not the only one who digs it, but seriously I wonder if I'm the only one who laughs out loud multiple times during each episode. I really can't get enough of it, and to fill in the void of when I'm waiting from one week to the next to watch, there is even a website with fun features. One such feature is a blog from Dwight... it's his actual character posting blogs. I just discovered this today while searching for more quotes for my post-its. I am going to have to catch up... one of the latest ones was his reaction to LOST, the episode about Eko(sp?). What fun! I think you all should link up to this and check it out, you'll get some good laughs, especially if you work in an office setting.

Balanced!

One thing I hate most in life is balancing my checkbook... I finally got a new checking account and things seemed to be going fairly well, until I made a couple stupid mistakes and made myself get overdrawn because I transfered money to a diff. account before I should have.(forgive my run-on sentence) It was so frustrating because I had the money... it just wasn't in the right account! GRR! I really don't know what I was thinking. So, for the last week I relied on my credit card until things just leveled out again. Thank Goodness for Online Banking!
I had to set everything straight in my checkbook tonite and wanted to make sure it all balanced out. I was nervous as I wrote everything in and started calculating... the first time through, it came up unbalanced, but I remembered a couple things and re-calculated and VOILA! Perfect Match! How Beautiful life is when those things check off right, makes me want to do a little dance that I did it right, without having to call my dad and ask... "Okay, so do I add the deposits or subtract them... I always forget?" I Remembered myself... (pat on the back)... this seems like a silly thing to post, but I haven't had a statement balance out like that for atleast a year. That makes me smile! :)

Oh, and this past weekend was the Sr. High Winter retreat at Timber Bay Bible Camp... it was a great weekend! Here's a couple pictures... sunsets, broomball, and a somewhat creative pic for ya.

(as you can see, to the right of this picture, someone wiped out... it was WAY slippery!)
(careful getting up, Gary!)It is so beautiful and peaceful up-north!

grrr

Haiti is cancelled...

Lord, I don't understand sometimes... but well, life has never always been easy to understand... so why should it change now!

excerpt from "Foreverandever etc." by David Crowder

I think I'm on the brink of something large
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn
Or maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship
Letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet
Where I wanna be
I am Yours

definitely random... news... blogger books... snowmen..

• New anchor on Kare 11... Who is this Mike guy anyways?
I've been a pretty loyal fan to Kare11 for most of my news-watching life, which I'd say is about 10-15years or so. I don't consistently watch the news, but when I can, I do and it's just not the same if it's not Kare11. So, when all this change started with Ken Barlow and Frank Vascellero leaving, I have to admit I was a little disapointed. So, I'm skeptical of this new Mike Pomeranz, but he seems to be pretty MN saavy, etc... check out his bio on www.kare11.com, and see for yourself :).

• Blogging Book at Borders...
I was strolling through Borders tonight, looking at some Graphic Design and Web Design books, and as I skimmed the shelves my eye caught a book with the title put simply "Blogging." It made me laugh because I wondered who needed a book about Blogging, it's pretty easy to set up with the step by step instructions. Despite my initial mocking, I picked it up and began to skim the pages. I surprised myself in thinking, hmm, should I get this?... this thought came to me because I still have yet to figure out how to get a fricken picture on my profile page. It's easy to get them into the body of a post, but they make you go through a bunch of rig-a-ma-roll for the profile pic. Why do I need a photo hosting site, JUST for a picture on my profile? Picasa/Hello or whatever that thing is doesn't work for Macs... (stupid) and I can't seem to get it to connect to my .mac homepage which holds a few pictures. WHATEVER... I didn't buy it though, because I knew I wouldn't use all the info in it for what it was worth. It was interesting to realize that Blogging has been around long enough for a book to be published about it. It seems I'm a wee babe in this blogging world... always learning :).

• Snowmen
I just thought I'd share my snowman story. It's not that exciting, but just thought I'd leave you with a laugh...
I took the day off friday, and as all of the Minnesotans know, we got a beautiful new layer of fluffy white and wet snow to add to our already pretty large portion. Every other time it has snowed this year, when it was really good sticky snow, I've been at work or been really busy. Whenever I'm at work I say (sometimes aloud even) I just want to go home and make a snowman. I went about my day doing mostly mundane things, until I was driving back from Target and remembered my thought of the previous snowfalls... I just want to make a snowman. I questioned myself, it I really would find it fun... especially doing this all alone, but I went inside (waited for the snowplow guys to leave) put my snow gear on and, yes, made a snowman. This turned out to be a lovely snowman, though I had to be creative with the detailing... black olives for eyes, a carrot nose and celery for arms. The olives were not so fun to make stick for the eyes, so I couldn't imagine trying to make a mouth out of them. Instead, being the painter I am, I got out my tempera paints and put a red smile on him. Of course he also has a hat on his head, a scarf, and mittens on the ends of his extremities. (though one slid off because the celery drooped already) :(

With that, I'm signing off... the moral of the last story is... "You're never too old to be a kid!"

Updates...

Hello folks! Now that the letters are out, I thought I'd break the news onto this blog as well! I'm going back to Haiti... YIpeEE! So, if you want more info, etc... or a letter in that case, email me/post a comment or hop on over to www.haitijournal.blogspot.com

I will be trying to keep that blog updated with thoughts and prayers about this new journey(yet, not so new in my heart :))

In other news...
I bought a digital camera (gulp, an overwhelming process)... I like it... I think... it's such a big purchase, but it's one of those small Nikon Coolpix cameras... it feels too small to really take decent pictures. But as in other areas of life I should remind myself... size doesn't always matter! :) It's got 5.1 megapixels and 3x zoom, and a Lithium/Ion battery... I was going to get this other one that seemed a bit more sturdy, but you had to buy a battery charger and AA rechargable batteries too... an extra 30bucks... that one had 5x zoom, but I just don't think I use zoom enough anyways. And, this one I got seems to do pretty well... although when I try to shoot with the Macro mode with no flash, it wigs out and a "steady camera" icon blinks. I even set it on the table and shot the object and it still wouldn't go away. Annoying! So, I'll have to figure that one out, and I got free passes to the classes that National Camera gives, so that'll be good. Here are a couple fun shots I took while playing with it last night.

I think this one was actually without the macro setting on, and auto flash... not bad I guess. I wish I could have gotten outside to take some wintry snow shots, but the day just got away from me. Bummer! Owell... that's all for now.

Have a Happy New Year ya'll!

cherry coke! :)

A couple blogs back I mentioned a cool picture of a cherry coke.
Let me tell you, I'm usually all about lots of cherries, but I didn't want anymore cherries for a long time after that... there were probably 6 more down inside the drink that you can't even see!

(for a reminder of the blog click here and read para. 4)

and the icecream sundae...

So, that was my time at TGIFridays, I sure left with a full stomach!











I didn't mention anything in the birthday blog about my experience at "The Shout House"... it's a piano bar in Block E in Minneapolis... a dueling piano bar, actually! You can put in requests, etc, and of course they caught word that it was my birthday. So, they had me and another girl whose birthday it was, come up and sit on the piano. Then, they called up all the "single guys" of the place to come and sing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'"... hmm... as the picture shows... I was a bit embarassed, especially since it took half the song for any of my friends to come up... well, now that I think of it, only one in attendance was single, but he dragged a couple others up with him.













This is another picture at the Shout House of Heather, my old roomate, and the piano player doing the "actions" to Grease Lightning. She happened to stand up and do them right by the table, so he saw her and couldn't help but make her get up on stage, since she was already standing and doing them. It was pretty hilarious!

I Celebrate the Day... by Relient K

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to
let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me,
in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that
You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the
things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

I really like this song, it really made me think of things a bit differently. The whole disk is actually really good... It's called "Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hands" The title made me laugh! :) Most of the carols on this disk are in Relient K goofy fun style, except this one and maybe one or two others.

A Cave...

This weekend in church we heard from a speaker(I forget her name, sorry), a friend of Jan Bros'... she talked about times of being in the dark and how we often run from those times. I think I have been doing that for the last couple of weeks.
It is good to be told not to run, but to acknowledge what it is, and wait. The question she asked close to the end was, "What are you waiting for?"
The answer to that question, I'm not sure right now...

if nothing else... waiting to not feel like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions.

pondering this for now...

Reflections on my day

Today started out pretty normal, pulled myself outta bed about 7:29am, took a shower, got ready and the whole bit. I wondered if anyone would call me this morning with birthday wishes, but nope. Okay, no big deal.
I drove to work and as I pulled into the parking lot I could feel myself get really overwhelmed with tears... I shook it off and a little while into the workday I got my first phone call... it was my 4 year old niece, Sarah! "Hello Antie Lisa... pause (overhearing sis's voice, "remember what you were going to say?").. Happy Birthday!" I say thank you and she proceeds to tell me how she went to the store with mommy and they got strawberry and cherry and green apple gum, and that Joshy(who is going to be 3 in January) was eating some and she was eating some. Cute, and then she asks, "Antie, when are you going to come to my house and see me?" I said hopefully soon, and she replies "Okay, you have to come so you can have some of my gum."
How cute is that... I love that the coolest thing for her was getting gum at the store and hoping that I would come soon so she could share it with me. She tried handing the phone to Joshua, but he only does things on his terms these days.. he'll only do it if it was his idea from the beginning. :) No biggie (boys... sometimes they just never change... tee hee... jk) I ended the phone call with my sister who was driving and had Joshua now complaining about something Sarah had done.
Got back to work after that... Mom called and said Happy Birthday... Always nice to hear your mom's voice on your birthday. Georgia finally got to work around 10:30ish and we chatted for a bit. She's always great at making you feel special... she happened to tell/remind(although she denies it) a few of our common friends that it was my birthday. That was sweet, so randomly throughout the day a got some emails and text messages from those ppl. One of the calls was from her older brother Joe, he's somebody who I often just joke around with because he's so easy to pick on. He never calls for me, so when I picked up and said hello and he said who it was, I knew it was because Georgia told him it was my bday. I quickly answered, "Well, hi Joe, how are you?" With a bit of sarcasm in my voice, and he responds by saying "You sound a little sassy today" I said, "Sassy?" He said, "Yeah, but I hear it's your birthday, so it's okay"... what a randomly funny kid. Anyways... I don't know why I told that story... but it just stuck out as funny to me.
We went to lunch at TGIFriday's and of course they told the waitress it was my birthday. I forget that they like to tie balloons all over you... in fact each server comes with two and ties them on. Good thing it wasn't dinner time, or they'd have way more servers on. It was a nice lunch and really got me in a good mood... it helped that the waitress put about 12 cherries in my cherry coke. (which I got a sweet digital pic of that I'm hoping to post in the near future) We then went to Avant Garden, the best coffee shop in downtown Anoka, and I'd have to say maybe even in Minnesota! :) The coolest part about going there was that I saw my good old friend from my old church, Brooke, her birthday is Dec. 3rd... and we always remembered our birthdays... so immediately when she saw me she said "Happy Birthday" and I said "Happy Birthday to you in two days!" It was pretty cool... we caught up quick and then she had to leave.

(sorry this is getting long)

We got back to work and I got a couple other calls and what not... but I just have to say a couple cool things that happened out of my control that were just cool. For the last couple years there hasn't been a whole lot of snow on my birthday, so I told a couple people and just thought to myself that it would be fun to have snow on my birthday. Yay, it snowed before my birthday... and even better there was a pretty snowfall off and on all day out my window. It was something small, and I would've lived without it, but it happened.
Cool thing number two came in a very odd way. You see... I really love flowers, especially roses. About three months ago or so, for some reason I just got it in my head that all I really wanted for my birthday was to get flowers or roses from someone, anyone, well someone I knew atleast. There really isn't that special someone who I knew I might get any from, so coming up to my day I knew it would be pretty unlikely. It wasn't like I was going to tell my mom or anyone... hey can you have my dad or can you have someone get me flowers. That would be silly and not mean anything... so whatever. I was sitting at my desk today and would randomly think about the flowers and kept telling myself, it's not going to happen and that's really okay. I have all these people who care and love me, that really is enough. Well, the four o'clock hour rolled around and I was leaving at 5pm... not much left to do, but wait for this one guy to pick up some postcards and print some posters, etc. As I was checking the printer, the guy who was picking up his posters came around the corner. He knew it was my birthday because he was supposed to come at 2 and pick up then, but was told we were going out to lunch for my birthday. Paul is his name, and he is a counselor and now author of the book he is having us(me) design. A very thoughtful and "counselor" type person, always giving a lot of affirmation of the designs I've done, etc. (sometimes too much... but he's married with children, so don't think this is wierd)... So, back to today... he came around the corner and said Happy Birthday... and had some sort of flower(s) to give me. I was floored... it felt wierd at first, I kept telling him it was so unnecessary, but thanked him kindly. I finally brought it back to my desk and opened it... a single White Rose!! It took me a minute to realize what and who it really was from...
Thanks God...

I've said things before about not liking the word "blessing" and over spiritualizing things... but this... I can't explain it... I truly believe that Paul was just the messenger/catalyst. It wasn't going to appear out of no where... He cares... he cares about the little things... and the big things.

I also have to give a big shout out to Angela... she doesn't have time to read this, but I know she has been trying her best to make this a good birthday for me. We went to PF Chang's tonite and had a lovely dinner... and then we went to Express so I could find something fun to wear tomorrow night... Going to The Shout House... and what do you know... I had a gift card from awhile back that had $20 on it, I had totally forgotten about it, and I originally got a 10dollar off card from them for my birthday... sweet!! :)

So... yes... the big 2-5... it was a good day...
love to all...

It's official... the big 2-5

hmm... well, I was just lying in bed trying to fall asleep and I couldn't. Tomorrow(or today, rather) is the looming birthday... my quarter life birthday has come and sometimes it feels a little depressing. I'm not going to wallow in it or anything... but I'm on the closer end to being thirty than I am to being twenty. Yes, I know, I'm young... not married and no kids... I'm free to make my decisions independently. So, that's what I'm focusing on... and beginning to make some new goals for myself... where I want to be in five years from now....

• close to or already have bought my own house

• quite possibly be all free-lancing in design or decorative painting on walls... or canvas

• have taken a trip to Europe?!

hmm... i know there are more... but now my brain is definitely shutting down... maybe I can hit they hay now...

asta la vista

A Thanksgiving verse/"blessing" for you all...

I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way–in all your speaking and in all your knowledge– because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1Corinthians 1:4-9 (NIV)

version from The Message:
Every time I think of you– and I think of you often!– I thank God for your lives of free and open access to God, given by Jesus. There's no end to what has happened to you–it's beyond speech, beyond knowledge. The evidence of Christ has been clearly verified in your lives.
Just think– you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside you to keep you steady and on track until all things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.

As I was reading this in the NIV version, I was trying to make sense of it, and wanted to put it on here as a prayer of thanks to my friends. I decided to take a look at it from "The Message" point of view, and really liked it's version. I love how God surprises me while reading a verse I'm intending for something else and then it's like BAM... "no Lisa, that was for you too"

letting go

I've been at this place for awhile now, learning what it means to fully let go, and where to go from here.

Gripping on so tight with the security I have inside
Knowing what is right holding onto my pride

Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears

I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
And my brokenness I will bring

Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even tho my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to what I know

I'm letting go

-Jeremy Camp



God, grant me the grace of a deep and true repentance.

deliver me

Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me Your strength inside me

CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through

Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing

Oh, deliver me

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me
Come and pull me through
Come pull me through

- david crowder

lesson learned

During the summer(and a couple times since) you may remember my mention of the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, how great it was and that I was getting a lot out of it. I wished I knew this stuff and could've held it close during those late high-school/early college years of my life.
That got me thinking about my small group girls, and the junior girls in general(only a third of them are in my group), and got me thinking about doing some kind of bible study/book study with them. I did some talking with a few of them to see if it was something they would be interested in, and I got a lot of positive feedback. But, I was still hesitant, mostly because I've never felt like a stellar, "teaching leader," if you will. I can listen to girls, give advice, encouragement and prayer, but put me in a position of teaching and I feel so inadequate.
After a lot of prayer(and talking to Scott) and procrastination, I finally made up a flyer about it and took the junior girls aside before small groups and told them about this opportunity which was to start November 13th(today).
This was a week and a half ago, which I thought would be enough time. If I had mentioned it too early in advance, I thought they'd forget. I made sure to make an announcement on wed. night to remind them that it was this sunday, and a lot of them asked me about it to confirm directions etc.
Unfortunately, only two ended up making it tonight! :( I was all ready and prepared too! I was a bit disapointed, but things just happen, and they just seemed to happen to a bunch of them tonight. The three of us talked a little bit about what it would look like and also thought of about 5 people who were originally planning to come.
So, I'm not too upset, but the one thing I didn't plan so well was how much in advance I should be letting students know about things. I always forget how busy they are as well, and that two weeks probably would have been ideal. I was just so focused about wanting it to start, and frustrated with my procrastinating, that I didn't want to wait longer. But my lesson has been learned, it didn't get me any further. owell...

exactly.

For some time now, I've been trying to some up how I've been feeling inside. It has been a mish mash of things, which seem to be happening around me, things I feel I have no control over. I've had a hard time describing it, because I haven't wanted to sound mopy or like I'm having a pity party. But tonite (early sun. morning), I ran across Jan's blog and it spoke so much of what I've been feeling... read it here if you haven't already.

The first line reads:
What do you do with the undone places of life? The sentences which never get punctuated? The stories which never get told? The relationships which are always open ended? The dreams which are never fulfilled?

wow... those are deep things, and the ones I've been thinking about lately are the relationships and dreams never fulfilled. She also talks about an "ache"... i've had that often lately.
But I love how she so simply and wonderfully completes it...

In Christ All things will be made new.

That is the only place where I'll truly be fulfilled in every single way, which completely explains why I feel the things I do, even though it's a hard answer.
You should read it if you haven't... it's really good.
So, Jan, if you ever run across this... thanks for such great words!

dark days ahead (in the literal meaning)

I do like setting my clock back in the fall for an extra hour of sleep, but I dread the shorter hours of daylight. It's just depressing sometimes, I don't fully understand why we have to go back and forth all the time. I mean, what would seriously happen if we just didn't ever do it? I'm sure there's some research or history about it out there in internet land, but I've got better things to do that sit and read an article about something I really can't change at the moment anyways.

I don't know why I felt the need to blog this... but i did.

Happy Halloween-

Anyone coming to Night in the Light? I'm doing face painting... yay! I'm really excited, I'll be the one with overalls on and a bandana in my hair!

WOW!

Nickle Creek was FAntAStiC!!! I really enjoyed their cds that I got burned from my friends(grin), but to see them in concert... it left me speechless. I have to agree with my roomate that it is definitely one of the best concerts I have been to.. ever. They are incredibly talented, it wasn't just them playing the music, it was an experience, it drew me in and I often found myself just watching the fingers of Chris who played mandolyn like a maniac. It actually made me think of Matt Patrick, our beloved open door worship leader who is now residing in Slovakia for a year. The passion he had for what he was doing(speaking of Chris) was what made the connection to Matt.
The meet and greet portion wasn't as cool as I was hoping. It was nice because there were only like less than ten of us, but it seemed a bit rushed. I give them slack because I'm sure the touring schedule is hard-core, but one of the guys barely even attempted a conversation. I wasn't all about only wanting a signature, and I barely cared for that even, but more wanted to have a casual conversation. We talked to Sara (the amazing violinist)... and realized that she's only about 25-26, and that they've been playing music together since they were like 10 years old. She has been playing violin since she was six... that explains a lot! She also has a beautifully harmonizing voice that I would love to have! We talked to Chris a little bit too, he was more friendly... I think the guitarist, Sean, was the one who wasn't enthused about the whole thing. Everybody's got their bad days though, I guess. :) We took pictures with the two of them and then after, we were escorted out the back stage doors. They mentioned though, that they were planning on playing some stuff outside the tour bus on the street. We stuck around, but there were fans that were really obsessed and picture crazy that crowded around and gawked. Why couldn't they just treat em' like normal people, let them play without flashes going off every 5seconds.

I have a new appreciation for their music, and would definitely pay for tickets next time they come around. The cds just don't do the concert justice, but it's nice that the cds are still pretty good.

Oh yeah, I forgot, when we were in the meet and greet this one guy was asking Chris something about being a "blue-grass" band... and if they were trying to get into that scene at all. I loved Chris' answer, the main point of what he told the man was, we're not trying to be in any certain genre... why try hard to get into one certain label or category.
This was so interesting to me because having been a CCM reader for many years, there is always the topic in the christian music scene of "Do we try to go out into the world and sing and go for mainstream, or stay in the christian bubble"... etc... I never thought about that "labeling" junk occuring in all areas of music.

So, once again... a blog about music, you'd think I was some sort of musician..
nope, just a "wannabe" :) ... with a choir singing voice once in awhile

What are the Odds?

Yesturday during work I decided to log on the web to Cities 97, to see if there were any good songs on their web-cast radio. As I had that on I was browsing and noticed that you could sign-up for their weekly drawing, which consists of various concerts, etc. Well, i didn't know that you could choose several of the different things listed. I happened to just choose the Nickle Creek Concert... they have their 5-4-3-2-1 give away, and what do you know? I WON!
I received an email this afternoon that let me know I won 2 tickets in the 5th row and two "meet and greet" passes! ROCK! How cool is that? Who ever thinks they're really going to win? I sure don't.

So yay! I'm going to the concert with Angela... woot woot...

I want to blog something more... but still not sure how to sum up these past few days... they have been somewhat rollercoaster-"ish" but at the same time there has been this underlying and flowing peace.

it's an evanescence sort of couple days

i go in ruts sometimes with music, and I think Evanescence will be one of those for awhile... it helps a lot for me to just belt out this when I'm stressed or a little upset in areas of my life... this is one of my outlets...
here are some lyrics of one of her songs...

whisper

catch me as i fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

i'm frightened by what i see
but somehow i know that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
i can stop the pain if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me i fear
she beckons me shall i give in
upon my end shall i begin
forsaking all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end

some of the lyrics make me wonder what she's really trying to say... because I like the line that says "I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away"... but at the same time, I know that I can't do it all on my own... but I am the one who has to "choose" to not sit in where I'm at... so that's how I see it for me

anyone else have any comments about it? or of any other random things... or any other good music to use when stressed or upset to let it all out?

busy weeks comin' up

Georgia(my partner in graphic design crime) left for Africa on Friday, which means a work load and a half for me for the next two weeks... i'm afraid of the stress that will most likely be coming tomorrow morning. Which means I need to leave the seat I am in, and hit the hay.

there is much more to blog about... but no time to do now.

love to all!

Pirates of the Caribbean character...

Funny, since I'm a girl... but whatever...


Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

holding back

About a week and a half ago I was talking to a good friend of mine... it was about a lot of different stuff, but one thing that came up was how I tend to hold things back in conversations. At first I just explained that I tend to hold my opinions to myself in some situations because others usually have much stronger ones and really good explanations to what they are feeling.

As for me, I obviously do have opinions, but I tend to hold them back because I have a hard time articulating them into things that others will understand. I feel sometimes if I try to make a bold statement, or hold an opinion about something I don't know the complete hardcore facts about, others will start asking "why's" or pointed questions that I can't answer. And then, I'll look stupid for having the opinion. Or I just won't be able to fully explain what I'm trying to say... so I hold back and let others speak.

I grew up with a sister(whom i love dearly) who was very vocal and could explain her life away in whatever circumstance needed. She could debate either side of any situation, and always seemed to have the perfect answer for the questions or whatever it was that she encountered. I remember watching/listening to her and my mom argue over and over about the same thing, and sometimes they'd be saying the exact thing, but in completely opposite ways. It drove me crazy. One thing I remember from those times was that my mom would at some point tell her, "I'm not wired the same way you are, my mind can't keep up with yours, you need to slow down and talk rationally"... or something to that effect.
This is how my mom and I are so alike, and though it's wonderful to know someone who understands that, I wish I could have more of my sister in me.

So, that's just some background to how I've come to learn and be the person I am today. I am trying to learn to change, to not care what people think of how things come out of me. The thing is, I don't worry about what they think of my opinion, it's about not knowing if they'll understand what I'm saying, and if they'll take the time to listen.

I've also noticed through a conversation my roomate and I were having, and through the book "Captivating" I just finished, that besides in groups of people, I do the same thing one on one. But, in these cases, it has more to do with what they will think. I'm afraid when it comes to a decision or "issue" of some kind, that I'll be rejected or not understood, or a whole heap of things. I'm so afraid of the unknown sometimes. I stand back and think about that and say to myself, "Isn't better to just find out what the unknown is?"
It's a hard concept to grasp... and to learn... learn to trust even though there are so many times that have been proven to me it will be okay.
Here is an excerpt from Captivating that speaks a bit about this...
"...But we don't get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together. We don't get that luxury. If we did, would anyone ever feel like offering anything? God asks us to be vulnerable. He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses. He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given us even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were. He wants us to trust him.
How it turns out is no longer the point. Living in this way, as a woman alive, is a choice we make because it is the woman we want to be. It is our loving response to our Lover's invitation."

I finished the book, and it is soo good! I encourage any woman young or old to read it! I could read it again and get more things from it.

May I continue to understand that it doesn't matter how it comes out...
I want to take risks, and if I get hurt and fall down, He'll pick me back up and I'll learn from whatever I stumbled on.

still too busy...

It has still been one busy season with me lately. Although I've made a step in a couple right directions financially and in that one certain thing I wasn't specific about in the blog before this one. So, though things are still very busy at work and kind of still at home in general... I'm sort of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, or atleast a tiny bit lighter of a load.

So, if I could give my life right now a song it would be....

40
by none other than U2, of course.

I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long
How long...to sing this song

I just love this... though the thing that God brought to light and made me realize is hard, I will still sing a new song. It's amazing how we can be so stuck in one place, and not really realize it until we're willing to give something up.
That's where I'm at right now... at this place of things constantly changing and me not... until I give it all up and totally trust in Him and depend on Him no matter what, my things will remain and I will gain no distance. So God help me to keep giving up these things I feel like I need to hold on to, the things that only I can choose to release to you.